Disaster Jeffery Epstein has comitted suicide - Matt Groening got him

Convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is dead, law enforcement sources said Saturday.

A gurney carrying a man who looked like Epstein was wheeled out of the Manhattan Correctional Center around 7:30 a.m. The ambulance went to New York Downtown Hospital.

Jeffrey Epstein dead in apparent suicide

Convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein died overnight in an apparent suicide, federal officials said Saturday. Epstein, 66, was found unresponsive in his cell in the Special Housing Unit of Manhattan …

nypost.com

 

[pwnest injun]

They just don't give a fuck any more. God damn...

e: I really hope this shitbag had an insurance policy that goes live now...

 

[Lurker]

your feelings changed like the wea-therrrrr~

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

fucking hillary can't even walk up a flight of stairs and she manages to infiltrate this motherfucker's prison cell, hang him and sneak out undetected. what the fuck .

 

[Lone MacReady]

The Clintons are Safe! Thank you Deep State, a large cash-sum has already been deposited into your offshore accounts. Keep up the good work, and remember - there is no such thing as a (((Cohen-cidence))).

and some people wonder why America has a 2nd Amendment to deal with government corruption.

 

[It's HK-47]

Considering the kind of evidence that the police got their hands on just by raiding a single one of his properties, it's not as though it makes a tremendous difference whether Epstein was dead or alive at this point. Even just that one safe was loaded with videos and pictures with names on the labels. I can't imagine what sort of crap they must have found in any of his other properties, let alone the island. I do think it's hilarious that yesterday we had a name drop and massive, ~2,000 page infodump, and today we have a suicide, though.

Spoiler

 

[Miller]

What a twist.

 

[Judge Holden]

So chaps, we thinking he either
a) was killed by a paid guard who will swiftly find themselves recieving the Seth Rich treatment?
b) was killed by a paid inmate who by complete accident wound up in his cell?
c) was blackmailed into killing himself by his associates on pain of absolute hell in prison?

Personally I pick C since it leaves the least loose ends

 

[Captain Ahab]

Did he smother himself in his sleep?

 

[Scented Candle]

What if his head just did that

 

[JoshPlz]

What a convenient coincidence!

 

[CatParty]

He's a convicted pedophile who'll spend the rest of his life in PC with a ruined reputation. I don't see what's so implausible about him committing suicide.

It could also be a fake suicide so he can get back to business supplying the worlds prominent paedos. We should demand a public autopsy

 

[break these cuffs]

He's a convicted pedophile who'll spend the rest of his life in PC with a ruined reputation. I don't see what's so implausible about him committing suicide.

MCC is a high security federal prison known as Little Gitmo and he was on suicide watch. It wouldn't have been easy for him.

 

[Flexo]

I'll take the long odds.

He is NOT dead and it's being faked for witness protection.

 

[Jeffrey Epstein]

this is news to me.

 

[ES 148]

it's weird, normally KF is ecstatic when a paedo dies

 

[PonelessBizza]

ISIS did it

 

[Pontiff Sulyvahn]

What the FUCK is going on this week holy Jesus.

 

[Jub-Jub]

The girls that were testifying will also be found in locked suitcases soon.

 

[Wyzzerd]

I can't wait to hear his impossible method of suicide! I bet it won't even be possible by magical means either!


Just watch, I bet he will have also been under constant surveillance but just happened to be really quick about slitting his own throat with a tube sock.

 

[break these cuffs]

I'll take the long odds.

He is NOT dead and it's being faked for witness protection.

Murder, suicide, and faked death are all plausible. There will be theories spun about this for decades.