❄️ Snowflake Jack Monroe / Melissa "Mel" Hadjicostas / Jack Xatzinikolas / @BootstrapCook - Spaghetti hoop rinser who wants to live like Common People, the face of poverty in Britain, literally can't lie

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Jack must be absolutely devastated about fucking up and having to run and hide from Twatter because her arch nemesis Lee Anderson (who she's totally suing any day now for realsies so stop asking about the lawsuit money) just got made the Deputy Chair of the Conservatives. Naturally Twitter is going wild and it's trending, and she can't join in and make it all about herself which must be agonizing for her ego.
 
Jack is back and malding at the political editor of the Daily Express because he’s on to her. If someone could source the article for me (I’ll look when I’m not mobile fagging) that would be great.

Go on Jack, lolsuit please.
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Edit: found the article (A)
 
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So excited for this thread, just saw it pop up now - I am way behind but it is already so refreshing to be able to read about her here as opposed to the a-log powerlevel dumpster fire that is tattle.life as they go through 1000 posts a day most of them just people talking about how they’re “fumming” at Jack. Don’t get me wrong, some of the tattlers are great but most are…awful.

Hopefully this thread can incorporate some of the truly exceptional tattlers who spend 24 hours a day on that site obsessing over her in the same way we speak about Hater Nation or Abby Brown’s A-logs.

Only recently discovered Sandra Lee and I find her hilarious, its the most suburban mom show ever - but at least 90% of her recipes look edible

ETA - typo fixes, further chat re a-logs and stuff about Sandra Lee
 
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Jack is back and malding at the political editor of the Daily Express because he’s on to her. If someone could source the article for me (I’ll look when I’m not mobile fagging) that would be great.

Go on Jack, lolsuit please.
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Edit: found the article (A)
But she is a celebrity, though. There are posters advertising her latest cookbook. I just saw one.

As for “chef,” well, it’s a technicality. Most people think of “cook” and “chef” as basically synonymous.
 
Lets do a summary chaos to catch up (and avoid Tattle-style 'grunking') since the latest flounce. Jack went dark for the third longest flounce (9 days until 9am this morning), so nowhere near beating her longer sulks of Sep (14 days) & Nov 22 (16 days). Of course she sneaked in to painstakingly like, unlike, follow, unfollow, stalk 'turgid saddos' and forensically mass delete tweets, although this we only noticed was hiding innocuous ones, but anyway they are archived by frau and others. She emerged from her banishment saying she had 'been away for a few days' (voluntarily?) and complaining surprisingly only of toothache. Anyway, what softly, gently woke her from her tramadol / whisky / coke-induced slumber was a tweet from her 'colleague' at the Express (perhaps she sees herself as politically aligned), alleging she is a celebrity chef, and a wealthy one - depending how you interpret commas. She claimed this repeats Lee Anderson's libel (that she makes a fortune from the poor). There was much fun made of her misunderstanding of libel law and of her claim to be a 'chef' and denial of being a 'celebrity', especially given her speaking agent Kruger Cowne pimp her out at £15,000 per performative poverty speech. The continued pov cosplay backfired as usual, this time with copies of a google search showing her wealth estimate at $3-75M. It didn't go unnoticed that her rage at innuendo about wealth has yet to be matched by legal threats to counter a plethora of critics, truthers, conspiracy theorists and vile trolls accusing her of being a boring old coke hag. The usual suspects piled in to discredit Jack and her flying limping monkeys, who seem to be new faces nowadays. She tried unsuccessfully to justify harassing herself by jumping into every criticism on twitter to 'fuel' argument. There was also notably no sign of her son or dog, who of course are safely tucked up in another Essex town to escape her drug benders - hence having just moved to a one bed flat. Her imaginary childhood twitter friends / superstans like spaniel friend and the wonky insect have drifted off since cokegate a couple of weeks ago. Even her sock puppets have run out of energy since the move to the new flat last week (according to the insect), which may well have explained the flounce even if she hadn't tweeted her cokehead anonymous medal. The good news is there were 9 days with much less ability to sign up new mugs to her fake Patreon and she lost about 700 followers on the hellsite. So how about it Jack, sue me like you do your French girls!
 
Jack is still “decluttering” (A) prior to her upcoming move. What anyone is going to do with these draws, I don’t honestly know. I’m sure she’ll hoard up the new place in no time.
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An obscure reference to the underbelly of the Internet; I think she may be onto us:
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A snapshot of her replies that may corroborate this. Good luck with that hun. You’re here forever.
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Additional

Remember the BT Phone Book? I do.
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Sure, Jan. I’m sure the police give two shits.
Maybe it’s not us
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Jack is still “decluttering” (A) prior to her upcoming move. What anyone is going to do with these draws, I don’t honestly know. I’m sure she’ll hoard up the new place in no time.
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An obscure reference to the underbelly of the Internet; I think she may be onto us:
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A snapshot of her replies that may corroborate this. Good luck with that hun. You’re here forever.
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Additional

Remember the BT Phone Book? I do.
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Sure, Jan. I’m sure the police give two shits.
Maybe it’s not us
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I really don't want to contribute to another lunatic harassing Dear Feeder but that's on her. Null slapping her down (probably complete with 'who the fuck are you?' and 'I hope your shithole country self-deletes') would be pretty fucking funny. They were really gentle with her on Tattle IMO.

ETA someone on Tattle has noticed us.
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Also we're back to the part of the cycle where she suicide baits.
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Jack is still “decluttering” (A) prior to her upcoming move. What anyone is going to do with these draws, I don’t honestly know. I’m sure she’ll hoard up the new place in no time.
Ver archivo adjunto 4513337
An obscure reference to the underbelly of the Internet; I think she may be onto us:
Ver archivo adjunto 4513370
A snapshot of her replies that may corroborate this. Good luck with that hun. You’re here forever.
Ver archivo adjunto 4513390
Additional

Remember the BT Phone Book? I do.
Ver archivo adjunto 4513557

Sure, Jan. I’m sure the police give two shits.
Maybe it’s not us
Ver archivo adjunto 4513518
Saw this and there's been a few updates - her new neighbour is 'literally PC Plod':


'Luckily for me, my new upstairs neighbour is literally a cop. And boy am I going knocking with a casserole or a banana bread when I move in. Also three sets of very secure doors between the street and my hallway were a bit of a selling point. But god, I’m so tired of all of it.'

Okay, what's the Prison Sentence for 'poisoning PC Plod with sub-human inedible garbage?'
 
Some people barely eat because they can’t afford it but here she is waxing lyrical about her “support network” for “muh mentals” for asspats on Twitter.

Showing your privilege there Jack, never change.
 
Now that you said that, I think I might agree... I mean looking at it now it's obvious she's exaggerating the quantities of alcohol and pills. The way she talks about it seems like she's bragging about it, trying to impress you with how horribly severely she was addicted, so please gawk at her tragic life. And the more severe her addiction, the more awesome strong warrior she is for having overcome it, of course.

And obviously there is no way she has overcome any addiction, just based on her mentioned flagrant personality disorder and complete lack of any self-awareness.

Addicts tend to instinctively minimize/hide the extent of their usage or at least exhibit some appropriate amount of shame about it, rather than flaunting it for attention like that. So it doesn't make sense to me for her to be talking about her drug and alcohol use like she does. Her shopping habits, though, she does seem to try to minimize, so that probably is her central problem.

And I mean either
a) she is minimizing her usage and has been taking care of a small child while drinking far more than 122 units per week, which is more than 17 units of alcohol daily or
b) is willing to lie for attention about having taken care of a small child while drinking 17 units of alcohol daily, not feeling an ounce of the crushing shame that any other person would experience if other people thought they had done that.

Which are both incredibly terrible and also make her my new favorite cow. I think she may have a brand new personality disorder that no one's discovered yet.

Addicts tend to instinctively minimize/hide the extent of their usage or at least exhibit some appropriate amount of shame about it, rather than flaunting it for attention like that. So it doesn't make sense to me for her to be talking about her drug and alcohol use like she does. Her shopping habits, though, she does seem to try to minimize, so that probably is her central problem.

I agree that compulsive spending is a major problem for her but I also think that her whole Twitter cycle of mad boasting/blowing smoke up her own arse/getting into lengthy Twitter fights/talking shit about cheap junk food - all night - followed by silence until the early afternoon whereupon she proclaims herself crushingly depressed/suicidal - all just screams cocaine to me.

I think the boasting about the prescription meds is a way to deflect from the other stuff
 
Addicts tend to instinctively minimize/hide the extent of their usage or at least exhibit some appropriate amount of shame about it, rather than flaunting it for attention like that.
Her suicide baiting brings this to mind too, one of the more fascinating lolcow behaviours to me. Obviously I don't think people should be ashamed of seeking help for their mental health issues, but I cannot fathom being suicidally depressed and wanting to tell every random dickhead on Twitter about it. At least not without some other form of crazy in the mix *cough*narcissism*cough*. Alas, I am not a lolcow, so I may never understand.
 
Not libel. (Definitely not to make you a millionaire, you're poor and not a celebrity remember?) Not stalking. Not a threat to your life or any kind of job for the police. Not depressed because of the "trolls" steadfast refusal to accept your lies.

Stop bothering the legal authorities with your inability to not be mockworthy, Melissa.
 
I have a feeling that her new copper neighbour (who totally exists) is probably going to be more interested living next to a junkie with ties to dealers.

Although maybe I am wrong, Mel, and he'll go full on Cormoran Strike after he hears your totally not deluded coked up rantings about the "evil internet underbelly". :story:
 
Not libel. (Definitely not to make you a millionaire, you're poor and not a celebrity remember?) Not stalking. Not a threat to your life or any kind of job for the police. Not depressed because of the "trolls" steadfast refusal to accept your lies.

Stop bothering the legal authorities with your inability to not be mockworthy, Melissa.
My feeling is she is going to gamble everything on a big win from suing the Ashfield MP Lee Anderson (apparently a friend of the National Front types, according to Twitter) because he said nasty hurty things about her online.

Anderson (30p Lee as he's called) might be a bit of a cunt, and even some of his own constituents apparently don't like him and are voting Independent at the next General Election, but Jack is way worse and views people as her own personal piggy bank.
 
Rando cites Jack's net worth as 5m, Jack retaliates saying that figure is "3m wide of the mark". Can't tell if that's a moment of idiocy, or her inadvertently stating she has a net worth of 2m.

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Sidenote: it pisses me off so much when people post photos of their low bank balances. E-beggars do it a lot to "prove" they have no money. Bitch, you could have a savings/second account with six figures in it, posting one account with a few dollars in it proves nothing.
 
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