Is pooping mandatory?

[Gimmick Account]

It happens almost every day and sometimes MULTIPLE times a day, and 95% of the time means I have to drop everything and get out of bed to stare at bathroom tiles for minutes on end. The 5% of times that are an exception aren't an improvement either.

Looking for any tips or exploits to avoid this

 

[Vingle]

Keep a spare of everything around the pooper.

 

[Book Thief]

Try looking towards your hygiene section at your local grocery store, you may find some items there that may help you out. Be sure to look for the label "Depends."

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Just hold it, bro.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

unfortunately yes.

 

[SomeDingus]

I haven't pooped since 2010 and I feel fine.

 

[Margo Martindale]

Transfer your consciousness into a bioform which does not require the expulsion of fecal matter

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

If you don't poop at least once a day then demons can use your stored up poop as a conduit to possess you, buddy.
Do you want to host some shitty demon who won't even help pay rent?

 

[TheRetardKing]

It's possible to hold it in for a very long time. I don't recommend it though. You could get REALLY painful cramps if you're not careful, so be cautious while doing it.

 

[Gimmick Account]

 

[King Fructose]

It’s only required for people with white skin. Hispanics and black folks reabsorb their poop into their blood streams, where it then seeps through the skin to create that brown look. This may also explain why they often smell like shit.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

This video has some interesting facts about the dangers of not pooping:

 

[break these cuffs]

Either poop quicker or learn to enjoy your time on the porcelain throne. Anything longer than 3 minutes means you're lollygagging, not eating enough fiber, or not hydrated. Taking more than a minute and a half on a field op with trucks waiting to take you back to the barracks and that portashitter was getting tipped over. There were 200 other guys who needed to cycle through those 4 of em in about an hour.

 

[Gimmick Account]

learn to enjoy your time on the porcelain throne

my laptop's in the shop. it is impossible

 

[Cats]