🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Holdek]

Here's the peebottling quote:

Note the implication that he leaves the filled bottles on his windowsill.

He also drew a full-frame picture of a piss bottle in one of his comics that was

Spoiler: gross

old and growing things

.

I almost vomited.

 

[Le Bateleur]

How much do you wanna bet that they're actually family photos of himself or his brother?

I wouldn't be shocked at either.

It could potentially be much worse...

You can make out like a bandit at yard sales and auction houses--secondhand clothes, toys, dishes, even family photos--which are great for an artist like me who likes to use body models. So the moral is, pay your bills on time, or an embarassing photo of you might end up on the block or in a junk shop somewhere--and eventually on the cover of my next book.

(Source, backup)

 

[Adamska]

He also drew a full-frame picture of a piss bottle in one of his comics that was

Spoiler: gross

old and growing things

.

I almost vomited.

It could potentially be much worse...

Lovely, he could've used a random family's child pictures.

Why are we supposed to pity him again?

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Lovely, he could've used a random family's child pictures.

Why are we supposed to pity him again?

We're not, especially now.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

he insists on using MS Paint instead of a more flexible art program

Why does he not even get his own copy of GIMP? It's free, there are older versions of it that can run on Windows 98, and if you hold down SHIFT while drawing with the brush or pencil tool, you can draw lines?

But I guess having a comic where the dialog is
split up lik-
-e this with
nearly impos-
-sible to
read text and art is working out for him juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine.

He also drew a full-frame picture of a piss bottle

It reminds me of how CWC includes really unique weird things in stuff he draws (like that pickle suppression belt). Now I can see why the other guy running that shop probably didn't want a "shelf of new books by up-and-coming authors" (conflicting shop purpose aside).

Speaking of shops, Sweet mentions two shop jobs. With the one I'm sort of familiar with, apparently Sweet's mom set up an unpaid assistance position for Sweet in the store, while one Dale was the manager. After the shop didn't do well and there were some shenanigans with loitering kids and weed whackers, Dale left, and Sweet thinks he's owed back pay for it. How did the other shop experience go?

Why are we supposed to pity him again?

I still do a little, because he's near 40 and he's still ruminating and doing nothing over old grudges from a time when most of us were still in school and too young to vote.

Also, Sweet apparently has pretty much no "you really shouldn't post that online" filter in his mind.

 

[Ca Ira]

A slight diversion from the forum antics-- I noticed this on the page for "Almasheol":

Awards/Honors:

• Recipient of Certificate of Participation, Genre Fiction Category, Writer's Digest 11th Annual Self-Published Book Awards

And that's it. The "Awards/Honors" section exists solely to accommodate a single bullet point noting that the book was entered into a competition.

 

[Adamska]

A slight diversion from the forum antics-- I noticed this on the page for "Almasheol":

And that's it. The "Awards/Honors" section exists solely to accommodate a single bullet point noting that the book was entered into a competition.

This is worse than Chris bragging about being a Gym Leader in the Pokeymanz Card Game, since he at least did get that position on a temporary basis when the Leader was out and no one else was available.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Why does he not even get his own copy of GIMP? It's free, there are older versions of it that can run on Windows 98, and if you hold down SHIFT while drawing with the brush or pencil tool, you can draw lines?

But I guess having a comic where the dialog is
split up lik-
-e this with
nearly impos-
-sible to
read text and art is working out for him juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine.

Actually, didn't he have a website that used Flash elements? Wouldn't that mean he owns a copy of Flash or was that simply a template he ripped?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Actually, didn't he have a website that used Flash elements?

I'd guess what you guess - he used templates. He did say he only uses what the laptop is bundled with, and I don't think PC laptops are bundled with Flash.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I'd guess what you guess - he used templates. He did say he only uses what the laptop is bundled with, and I don't think PC laptops are bundled with Flash.

I found the website I was talking about: http://www.freewebs.com/welcometolemora/websalbum.htm

If he did make that animated asterisk on his own, that means he could've been making chicken scratch by adapting The Belch Dimension into an animated series in addition to collecting cans this entire time.

 

[Holdek]

Why do people of interest that the Farms discuss have problems with weird bathroom related issues? That they post about online?

Because they don't understand that other people would find it strange: the unifying force of LOLcowdom.

 

[Bound2]

How did the other shop experience go?

It didn't. It never even happened.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe this was some sort of doll shop two elderly ladies were planning on running but they had a falling out so it never materialized. The only thing worth noting in the whole thing is that Sweet convinced them to let him live in the shop while he ran it (which never happened so...).

 

[Adamska]

Because they don't understand that other people would find it strange: the unifying force of LOLcowdom.

Freud turned out to be totally right on the psychosexual stages.

 

[Treenbeen]

Every time I see his "wanted" posters, I get a little more frightened and a little more amused.

Frightened because let it go... it's scary that he's still cyber stalking these poor folks.

Amused because of the "charges" against them: "sketch falsifier, pathological liar, career-killer." "Co-conspirator." "Fraud, embezzlement, trafficking stolen goods, abandonment, pyschological cruelty and engaging in general fartknocker behavior."

Jeez.

Pardon the double post, but...

Spoiler: Holy

• Some of your stories have a lot of misogynistic undertones to them. Do you hate women?

I love women. I just don't understand them. I find them to be very difficult creatures.

I have never initiated any of my breakups. It's always been the woman who decides it's over and leaves me. And I guess that comes through in my work. Feminism has come a long way in giving equality to the sexes. Women have well proven they can be just as cruel as men.

Spoiler: Freakin'

• Do you believe in giving gays rights?

Absolutely. But I don't think a few lefts, jabs, and uppercuts would hurt either.

Spoiler: Moly.

• You graduated college. That girl left you. Those doors are closed to you. Why don't you forget about them and move on with your life?

Would you tell a rape victim to "move on" knowing that the person who did it is out there waiting for another chance to do it again to them or to another victim? I find your thinking very insensitive. The Herald was an important part of my life once, and unless you sustain a massive head trauma that kills a good part of your brain, you don't just magically forget something that major. It was the biggest loss of my life. I've never really recovered. Those people took something beautiful and pure and free, and they perverted it with their hate and their left-wing politics and their lies. That is unforgivable. And I know they'll do it again to some other writer first chance they get, unless someone like me is around to keep the spotlight of truth shining on them. As long as certain evil people are in power at The Herald, I can't in good conscience rest. "Lest we forget" is my motto. And as far as Ashleigh goes, I will have her or I will destroy her--but I can never forget her.

Clearly the sole purpose of feminism is to give women the power to refuse you and "ruin your life". And yes, getting dumped is comparable to being raped. Dear god, man.

And wait a second.. he GRADUATED? Did I miss something?

 

[Le Bateleur]

Good spots, @Treenbeen.

I've not seen a straight answer on whether he graduated or not. It changes from post to post, in a similar fashion to whether he was trying to calm his brother down or beat his head in with a metal bar.

Him complaining that he never got his yearbook because he was banned from campus makes me think he didn't graduate.

In a way, though, if Sweet Bro does have a college degree, it makes his lifetime total of zero days paid employment even more astounding.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

And wait a second.. he GRADUATED? Did I miss something?

It's a minor detail he left out in other versions of the story, don't you know?

Also:

I find them to be very difficult creatures.

>creatures

Not a good choice of words given the context there, Sweet.

Also, he points out that only women have dumped him, not the other way around. I noticed that he apparently wasn't considering his own behavior in those situations.

 

[Treenbeen]

I can't... who even... I'm shocked into silence.

Spoiler: But on a side note...

Apparently so is he, considering he's been online 4 times since my post at AJM, posted once in the Art Thread, and nothing more. Maybe I broke him? Oops?

 

[Adamska]

And wait a second.. he GRADUATED? Did I miss something?

He keeps leaving this ambiguous, leaving it to be yet another lie. I concur with @Absinthe on the details though.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Pardon the double post, but...

• Do you believe in giving gays rights?

Absolutely. But I don't think a few lefts, jabs, and uppercuts would hurt either.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Don't know if this has been posted before, but this is Sweet's one known foray into video making. What it lacks in length and quality, it makes up for in pettiness and barefaced racism...