🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[plautistic]

Life imitates art.

Sweet reminds me of a character from Mann's Doctor Faustus, Dr. Chaim Breisacher, although the latter is much more learned:

The most contemptuous word on his lips was the word "progress"; he had an annihilating way of pronouncing it; and one felt that the conservative scorn which he devoted to the idea was regarded by himself as the true legitimation of his presence in this society, the mark of his fitness for it.

The narrator goes on to describe Breisacher's atavistic tastes, among which:

• Art that does not represent perspective is not less advanced than that which does. In fact, "Rejection, renunciation, disdain were not incapacity, nor uninstructedness, nor evidence of poverty. As though illusion were not the cheapest principle in art, the most suited to the mob[...]"
• "Biblical personages—revered by every Christian child—King David, King Solomon, and the prophets drivelling about dear God in heaven, these were already the debased representatives of an exploded late theology[...]"
• "'Prayer [...] is the vulgarized and rationalistically watered-down late form of something very vital, active and strong: the magic invocation, the coercion of God.'"

Mann uses Breisacher (and later a few others) to represent the "new world of anti-humanity" that helped spur the world wars. Applying such a term to someone of Sweet's ability is certainly ridiculous; applying the above points respectively to a man who can't draw, who's stuck half-past 1997, and who hates digital broadcast TV, on the other hand?

But a sensitive man does not like to disturb another; it is unpleasant to break in on a train of thought with logical or historical objections; even in the anti-intellectual such a man respects and spares the intellectual. Today we see, of course, that it was the mistake of our civilization to have practised all too magnanimously this respect and forbearance. For we found after all that the opposite side met us with sheer impudence and the most determined intolerance.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Sweet's been awfully quiet. He mentioned his computers were in the shop, so maybe he hasn't been able to get online. Of course, it's the holidays, so maybe Mama Sweet made him stay offline and interact with family.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Sweet's been awfully quiet. He mentioned his computers were in the shop, so maybe he hasn't been able to get online. Of course, it's the holidays, so maybe Mama Sweet made him stay offline and interact with family.

I've assuming it's because of the holidays. Even so his last bit of content wasn't the most entertaining anyway. Honestly I find his comic in general to be boring as shit. The journals is where the lolcow gold lies.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Maybe Sweet learned that whenever he tried to make himself look good, it was guaranteed to backfire?

Spoiler

Nah. Sweet probably can't get online for one reason or another. Sweet could go get some exercise, although jogging on the track seems to be a bad idea because gangs of thugs totally lie in wait there to ambush joggers for some reason.

 

[DrJonesHat]

I think there's been some severe weather in the area, maybe the power's out, or the internet's been knocked out. Or maybe the Sweet family traveled for the holidays. He'll be back. We're the only people who pay attention to him, and he craves attention, no matter what he says.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Since Sweet admitted his life revolves around the Internet, I imagine he's not in the best of moods. More so than normal.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Only a matter of time before internet deprivation takes its toll on Sweetums and he tries to bust a new crack in someone's ass with his baseball bat/crowbar/length of pipe/eight-inch bone knife.

 

[AJMLurker]

There is plenty of new material in this thread that Sweet has yet to destroy on his blog so hopefully we can expect his next update to be a response to us fartknockers of The Other Forum. As Troy said, his comic updates suck, but he usually resorts to those type of updates after he's received a harsh beatdown from this forum.

He's had several weeks off so he should be ready to take us on again when he returns.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

take us on again when he returns

Chances are it's going to be an attempted rebuttal to something calling his perception of college life into question, criticism of Belch Dimension, or something taco salad related.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

There is plenty of new material in this thread that Sweet has yet to destroy on his blog so hopefully we can expect his next update to be a response to us fartknockers of The Other Forum. As Troy said, his comic updates suck, but he usually resorts to those type of updates after he's received a harsh beatdown from this forum.

He's had several weeks off so he should be ready to take us on again when he returns.

Maybe his mommy has put him in Internet timeout because he's resumed his ranting about suing everyone on the planet. Or he could be back in jail after relaunching his campaign to get back into ASU and regain access to the CD burners, sumptuous buffets and chinaphones. Or he could be in some backwoods ICU after a medical emergency brought on by a combination of his newest Hannah Montana DVD and autoerotic asphyxia. Other possibilities: bitten by a venomous spider (Thanks, ObamaBulbs!); immobilized by fast-growing mold; ensnared in a cocoon of cobwebs; choked on a Hot Pocket; lost while leading an expedition in the jungle back yard; hospitalized by a recrudescence of the crotch-eating bacteria he picked up during his last stay (that we know of) in the hoosegow; comatose after sampling the contents of one of his vast collection of pee jars.

 

[The Mountain]

Well if he's hospitalized we know we won't see him for quite some time. It took him 8 hours to leave one while, uh, let's say "relatively" healthy, after all.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Maybe his mommy has put him in Internet timeout because he's resumed his ranting about suing everyone on the planet. Or he could be back in jail after relaunching his campaign to get back into ASU and regain access to the CD burners, sumptuous buffets and chinaphones. Or he could be in some backwoods ICU after a medical emergency brought on by a combination of his newest Hannah Montana DVD and autoerotic asphyxia. Other possibilities: bitten by a venomous spider (Thanks, ObamaBulbs!); immobilized by fast-growing mold; ensnared in a cocoon of cobwebs; choked on a Hot Pocket; lost while leading an expedition in the jungle back yard; hospitalized by a recrudescence of the crotch-eating bacteria he picked up during his last stay (that we know of) in the hoosegow; comatose after sampling the contents of one of his vast collection of pee jars.

If he is in jail, more than likely he got into a fight with one of his brothers over something stupid and got hauled away in handcuffs.

Or, and maybe this is just the Nyquill talking (I have a bad cold) maybe his family staged a long-overdue intervention about his harboring of 20 year-old grudges, and told him to stop fantasizing about going back to ASU, and get into therapy, and grow up. Maybe he's being forced to turn over a new leaf. Maybe we'll hear from Jon in about six months, and he'll be on medication, working a part-time job (gotta start small) and will pop on to apologize for his angry verbal tirades and to tell us that we were right all along. Perhaps he'll dabble in writing and drawing as a hobby, and with his new-found coping skills, he'll be able to learn from his mistakes, and his comic and novels will improve. Perhaps he'll teach himself web design and turn Belch Dimension into a web comic that will have a small but loyal following. Maybe this is the dawn of Jonathan Mack Sweet, Renaissance Man.

I think I exceeded the recommended daily dose of Nyquill. I'm gonna go lie down.

 

[AJMLurker]

Maybe he's being forced to turn over a new leaf. Maybe we'll hear from Jon in about six months, and he'll be on medication, working a part-time job (gotta start small) and will pop on to apologize for his angry verbal tirades and to tell us that we were right all along. Perhaps he'll dabble in writing and drawing as a hobby, and with his new-found coping skills, he'll be able to learn from his mistakes, and his comic and novels will improve. Perhaps he'll teach himself web design and turn Belch Dimension into a web comic that will have a small but loyal following. Maybe this is the dawn of Jonathan Mack Sweet, Renaissance Man.

I can certainly say you have hit my feels button @DrJonesHat, but I'm not going to get my hopes up over wishful thinking. There is the Kiwi part of me that hopes he still a lolcow and hasn't been around to entertain us because of the holidays (which will most likely be true), but there is also my human self that hopes he has actually received proper help over the holiday season. As the rules say though: "Don't white knight. Don't turn threads into an intervention. If you want to help, contact them privately". I'm betting Sweetums has been busy with the holidays or suffering computer trouble and that's why we haven't seen him. We'll see our Sweetian hero return assuming he hasn't injured or killed himself.

Despite how annoyed I get with him though, I'm always hoping that he will get over his issues and grow into a better person. Nobody should throw their life away on a futile quest, including Jonathan Mack Sweet. Alas, I expect Sweet to keep being the lolcow we expect him to be.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

And, speak of the devil, he's back, with his disturbing take on Christmas with the family, which includes teaching his toddler nephew how to say asshole.

His descriptions of the Sweet family dining en famille is enough to gag a maggot: tryptophan-induced coma . . . stuffing our gobs . . . scarf down. He makes a holiday meal sound like slopping the hogs.

He also unintentionally reveals that he's been hanging out at playgrounds and telling dirty jokes to children: "It wouldn't do to have one of them get in trouble for repeating a dirty joke that they heard from me on the school playground." Stuffing his gob has apparently not improved his skill with the language.

 

[ActualKiwi]

And, speak of the devil, he's back, with his disturbing take on Christmas with the family, which includes teaching his toddler nephew how to say asshole.

His descriptions of the Sweet family dining en famille is enough to gag a maggot: tryptophan-induced coma . . . stuffing our gobs . . . scarf down. He makes a holiday meal sound like slopping the hogs.

He also unintentionally reveals that he's been hanging out at playgrounds and telling dirty jokes to children: "It wouldn't do to have one of them get in trouble for repeating a dirty joke that they heard from me on the school playground." Stuffing his gob has apparently not improved his skill with the language.

Revealing a bit of a pedobear leaning there, by creeping on kids in playgrounds?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Well, the time for speculation is over, I guess. Turns out Sweet was pretty much just eating and watching TV during his absence at his brother's place. It sounds like Sweet was actually relatively well behaved -- he didn't get kicked out or arrested.

Sweet also finds being able to say "asshole" on basic cable surprising.

creeping on kids in playgrounds?

Like Doctor M pointed out, it seems that whenever Sweet vehemently denies something about himself, it's probably true.

 

[wheat pasta]

Whoever thought it was a good idea to give christmas lights to that baby is a fucking moron.

(Emphasis mine)

Unfortunately, your typical string of holiday lights may be more harmful to your long term development, or that of your child's ... because your typical string of holiday lights likely contains lead. ... a CNN study in 2007 found that at least four common brands of lights contained levels of lead that far exceed the Consumer Product Safety Commission's standard for lead limits in products to which children are exposed.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Whoever thought it was a good idea to give christmas lights to that baby is a fucking moron.

And of course there's potential shock and burn hazards with those as well.

 

[AJMLurker]

Oh shit! It's a Christmas miracle! Sweet managed to use the black and white feature on a camera!

EDIT: "I told my little niece, when she saw Ralphie getting his mouth washed out with soap, that, yes, they actually did that to kids for cussing back in my day. She seemed surprised at this."
She wasn't surprised by the knowledge you were telling her, I can say that. Let's just say she's not fond of her uncle talking to her. "Daddy, why is the creepy man hitting on me?"

"I expressed aloud my surprise that they're allowed to say "asshole" on basic cable now"
You're really behind the times. Happens when you're obsessed about going back to college for food, girls, and a TV to watch cartoons.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

"I can't afford to be banned from the big holiday family feeds just for some of the shit I say."

Jon Sweet is going to die hungry and alone - and this is how it is going to begin.