🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[AnOminous]

Sweets could start by calling and emailing every paper and street-press rag in his area and volunteering to write whatever they need.

He'd have to write an entire email that didn't, itself, reveal him as incompetent.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Wait, is the dilapidated shack he lives in now his childhood home or is the dilapidated shack he lives in now different? And if you're a 40-year-old that still lives with your mother, is there really a difference?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

He'd have to write an entire email that didn't, itself, reveal him as incompetent.

I thought it was REPUBLICANS who were selfish. Not you dirty progressives who refuse to give him the e-mail address, write his e-mail, edit the article and send it for him.

 

[AJMLurker]

Jon is a pussy bitch boy manchild coward. Those of you holding out hope that he will one day log into the Farms again are giving him way too much credit. Unless you guys plan on apologizing and giving him the endless asspats that he believes he is entitled too, Sweet will never show his face on this community again. Sweet Bro just wants to live the remainder of his life having his delusions supported by others. That's the reason why @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe, oh excuse me, Doc Murky makes Jon tardrage so much. He's stripping away Jon's childish fantasy of college and forcing the cold hard truth in his face: Jon had no fucking friends in college.

I hope the Doctor comes back and keeps revealing more extremely embarrassing stories about Jon at college. Sweetness just can't handle the truth that he was reviled at ASU for being a retarded nuisance. ASU might of been a sanctuary for Johnny, but at the expense of other students' enjoyment and happiness.

 

[Le Bateleur]

I can totally believe Sweet Bro when he says he lost access to his email account he used to register on here. Here's something I don't believe I've shared before. I always enjoy unearthing examples of the Bard of Blytheville attempting written communication with strangers, and doubly so when it involves his understanding of the modern world.

Here's what happened just over a year ago on the YouTube help forum, when our Sweetian Hero was having a spot of trouble with some Buck Rogers technology.

Spoiler

YouTube may have killed my computer!

by HaggisMcCrablice 3/10/14

I have a HP over ten years old that runs Windows 98. I made a one-minute commercial on the VideoMVP program and attempted to upload it to the 'Tube (as at about 30MB, it was too large to attach to an e-mail). A moment later my computer started acting weird. The colors are all funny, I can't get it out of Safe mode, and the mouse and keyboard aren't working. I think a virus somewhere on YT crashed my computer simply because the browser is slightly our of date. My computer is my entire life, and I think whoever is in charge here should reimburse me for any loss or hardship I have suffered. Some information on how to fix the problem or the cost of a new computer might be in order. Gracias and good day.

Heartbreakingly, the feckless Silicon Valley millenials at "the 'Tube" decided to lock the thread without reply.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

yell feebly at us at from a distance

"Hey you progressive kiwi kids! Get out of my jungl- lawn!"

My computer is my entire life

Sounds like someone needs to evaluate their priorities. It also sounds a little odd knowing how Sweet is with technology.

 

[Ruin]

If his mom works and he gets retardbucks why do they live in what appears to be a decaying tool shed?

 

[AJMLurker]

Sounds like someone needs to evaluate their priorities. It also sounds a little odd knowing how Sweet is with technology.

Also remember, in the last 15 years, Sweet Bro has not used his computer in any productive manner whatsoever. All he has done is dick around on a forum with members way too young for him, unintentionally piss off internet denizens with his nonsensical rants and comic, and finally become a lolcow. Some life.

EDIT: I understand Sweet's definition of productive is very different from the average person's considering his autism, egocentric thinking and lack of theory of mind so I'll explain for him. Sweet, using your computer to make your comic is not productive. Nobody buys or reads your comic. Sweet, using your computer to write and publish your books is not productive. Nobody buys or reads your books. Sweet, using your computer to post rants and blog posts against ASU is not productive. Anyone with a functioning brain knows you're a butthurt nutcase and does not support/care about your crusade against ASU. Any questions? Nope, ok.

You have been using your computer to piss your life away. You reap what you sow and that is why the Kiwis are in your life now. Karma was going to catch up with you eventually for your criminal rants against ASU and its staff.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

That YT forum post isn't the only place Sweet has said that the Sweet computer is his life. As you may recall, earlier on dA he said that he misses deadlines because the computer is in use, and he also said that his life revolves around it.

Sweet Bro has not used his computer in any productive manner whatsoever.

Sweet would probably argue that Belch Dimension is productive though.

What's kind of odd to me is that if Sweet has issues with technology, why didn't he make Belch Dimension entirely with traditional means? Why the Sonichu approach by making it part traditional and part digital?

 

[Chan the Wizard]

What's kind of odd to me is that if Sweet has issues with technology, why didn't he make Belch Dimension entirely with traditional means? Why the Sonichu approach by making it part traditional and part digital?

Autism.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

EDIT: I understand Sweet's definition of productive is very different from the average person's

One could argue that if one develops their skills (even if there's no financial gain or distribution involved), then that's productivity, but I'm not aware of any progress in the quality of Belch Dimension. It's still so illegible that it's difficult to follow what it depicts. Of course, Sweet insists that it's his "style" and "charm," and that TRUE and HONEST conservatives love Belch Dimension (based on a some ass pats on AJM, IIRC).

Also, nothing wrong with doing stuff that's not productive per se, but if all one does is non-productive stuff, then that could be a problem...

 

[AJMLurker]

Also, nothing wrong with doing stuff that's not productive per se

Of course not. I use the internet primarily for activities that would be considered unproductive. On the other hand, I acknowledge my internet activity for what it is: goofing off.

Not the case with out Sweetian Hero. Sweet tries to pass off his liberal/ASU rants as DA TROOF that will spark a movement within a society. A movement that will transform the world into a "better place". He passes his comic and books off as money-makers that will earn him enough money to "return to school". Sweet's life is a complete sham and the sad part is, he doesn't realize it.

Sweet really doesn't get what he has done wrong to earn the ire of countless people over the internet.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

About the money-maker thing, that looks about as realistic as Sweet thinking that he'll be able to have his name cleared at ASU after nearly 20 years of harrassment and threats letter writing campaigns after they "clean house" and "remove the progressives" from power there.

A movement that will transform the world into a "better place".

As you probably already know, last year Sweet said early in this thread that within 10 years -- by 2024 -- he and his fellow "Teapot Domers" will have returned the world to half-past 1997.

I and my fellow Teapot Domers (a more extreme version of the Tea Party I am looking to assemble, made up of those working to bring the world back to half-past 1997 by 2024) will bend the world to our will. We will not let it bend us.

How much progress has been made towards that goal now?

 

[Adamska]

With that Teapot Dome stupidity he shat out of his hands, I really am reminded that he's probably too retarded to know how to vote. Which means he can't even enact change that way.

Oh, speaking of hilarity, I would be interested to see him try and actually run for office like Labelle did. The sheer incompetence would be lulzy.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I would be interested to see him try and actually run for office like Labelle did.

I have a hunch that his campaign promises would involve TV and light bulbs.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Mooooom, I need you to drive me to my Presidential debate!

 

[The Mountain]

Sweet is easily my favorite cow on the farms. He'll likely produce milk until the day he dies, and the quality shows no sign of degrading. He'll be impotently whining about light bulbs, minorities, and his pathetic dream to return to ASU until the day he dies. That day is likely far sooner than he assumes, considering his abysmal living conditions, but I know he'll bring us no end of entertainment and joy in the few years he has left. When the mold finally eats away at the withered gray matter he calls a brain, the last hairs fall from his balding head, and his virginity remains as intact as it ever has been, the farms will shed a single tear. A glorious golden cow will be lost that day.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Wait, is the dilapidated shack he lives in now his childhood home or is the dilapidated shack he lives in now different? And if you're a 40-year-old that still lives with your mother, is there really a difference?

They lived in Hayti, Missouri at one point. Don't know if Ma Sweet was mugged there or in Blytheville.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Don't know if Ma Sweet was mugged there or in Blytheville.

Going by Sweet's rant about how the Sweet house doesn't have a garage, I think the mugging happened in Blytheville.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Going by Sweet's rant about how the Sweet house doesn't have a garage, I think the mugging happened in Blytheville.

I thought he said it was the old house that didn't have a garage, though? I'm not the best at Sweetglish.