🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[DrJonesHat]

Sweet just doesn't want anything that wasn't EXACTLY like it was in 1997 even though the stuff we have now is much better. Like, he might actually like a smartphone cause he could access the internet when wanted to, instead of having to wait his turn on the laptop.

 

[Adamska]

Sweet just doesn't want anything that wasn't EXACTLY like it was in 1997 even though the stuff we have now is much better. Like, he might actually like a smartphone cause he could access the internet when wanted to, instead of having to wait his turn on the laptop.

That would require him to go against his retarded belief of "Ignorance is Bliss". No seriously, that's yet another excuse he has for why he's so fucking incompetent with technology.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

"Ignorance is Bliss"

I thought Sweet's excuse for not learning new technology was more along the lines of "he doesn't give a shit" and his eyes "glaze over" when someone tries to teach him technology he can't easily comprehend? Well, that and he can only get tech-savvy with the state-of-the-art computer lab of ASU.

Sweet's whole life is a very compelling argument on how "ignorance is bliss" is indeed a fallacy.

 

[AJMLurker]

"he doesn't give a shit"

Sweet uses this excuse a lot for why he refuses to improve himself and learn new things. The thing is though, him "not giving a shit" is a result of his mind being underdeveloped, not a conscious choice on his part to not care. As somebody has said before, he was doomed from the start to fail.

I think we can safely say Sweet falls somewhere on the spectrum at this point. My guess is he would be teetering somewhere right above the divide line between Aspergers and full blown autism. He has shown a disturbing lack of ability to function, but he's capable of communicating with others over the internet to an extent a full blown autistic person never could. @ToroidalBoat, you've mentioned how resistance to change and rigid thinking are major characteristics of autism. Since Sweet initially was introduced to computers when he first entered ASU back in the 90's, he now forever associates the technology with the school. For years, he refused to advance past half-past 1997 computer tech because that was the tech ASU had when he got kicked out. His resistance to change at work. On the other hand, he believes getting back into ASU is the only way for him to get up to speed on current computer technology. His rigid thinking at play.

Also Sweet's behavior and argumentative style is very reminiscent of a child going through the preoperational stage of life between the ages of 4-7, when egocentric thinking dominants the mind. Reading his dA responses to Troy, it's so painfully obvious that he's stuck at the mental age of 6. Jonathan M. Sweet is where he is at in life because he's literally a manchild, the mind of a child stuck in the body of a disgusting 40 year old man.

And real talk, I think most psychologists would say the average 6 year old child is more mature and socially developed than Jonathan M. Sweet. Sweet comes off as a severely autistic 6 year old child. I think the only area where Sweet has your average 6 year beat is vocabulary, but just give them a few years.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

And I was looking pretty good on the dance floor last night.

Ahahaha, no you weren't. Absolutely guaranteed no.

 

[Shadow Fox]

And I was looking pretty good on the dance floor last night.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Since Sweet initially was introduced to computers when he first entered ASU back in the 90's, he now forever associates the technology with the school.

Sweet wasn't introduced to computers until the late 90s?

And remember how Hotmail ceased to be compatible with older browsers running on Windows 98? As you may also recall, Sweet called that compatibility a "backdoor" (and a way of getting around having to use CD burner). Well, from stuff he's recently posted on dA, it seems that he's trying to contact Microsoft to get them to restore that "backdoor." I guess no one told him about GMail and its' plain HTML mode (prompted for it if JavaScript is off) that should still work with older browsers.

Also, at least according to web.archive.org, the half-past 1997 site that Sweet uploaded has only been up since around 2004, so it's not something he made in college. That makes it even more impressive that he somehow managed to make a website after having been kicked out of college for antisocial behavior exiled to a technological backwater for being too conservative.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

HaggisMcCrablice 3 days ago Hobbyist Writer

I have mentioned my h.s. girlfriend before... under an assumed name, of course. Her dad's a big wheel in this town and I don't wish to cause a scandal. We were young and foolish. It didn't last. Ultimately she wanted more than I was willing to give. We broke up. I was depressed for weeks. I almost quit the church over it.

DrChristianTroy Edited 3 days ago
1- But you said Doc's sources are legit and that the college paper would have his head for snitching. Which is it John? More importantly why should he name his sources when you won't name the woman who didn't fuck you? Logic homie, use it.
2- I can assure you that progressives and conservatives, no matter what year, think your old man house idea is absolutely retarded.
3- A big wig in Bumfuck, Tennessee? I'm sure owning 3 pigs is a big deal to you but I can assure you it isn't.

So, I clicked the link above, and here's what I found, interesting points emboldened:

Johanna
Jon's first girlfriend was Johanna Ralston, a student at Sonny Tufts Jr. High. She was upper-class, which caused friction because dating someone below her social station seemed to be an issue with her. Johanna's job, a reporter for the STJH Harbinger, was a also a bone of contention between the two. During the course of an investigation on misappropriated school funds, Johanna's life was threatened. She fearfully phoned Jon late one night looking for help, but he hung up on her. The following morning Jon learned that she had been killed in the driveway of her Apex Courts home by a bomb wired to her car's ignition system. He felt bad that he hadn't paid attention to her cry for help, a guilt he would carry with him for some time afterward.

Two years after Johanna's death Jon finally confronted her killer, knocking her out and leaving her tied up for the police. He visited Johanna's final resting place for the first time and was able to pay his respects with a clear conscience. Jon still sometimes goes to Johanna's grave and talks to her when feeling troubled. This seems to ease his mind, though Josh finds the whole thing somewhat silly.

During the "Cobra's Last Strike" arc Jon is haunted by nightmares in which he races to save her from the car, but fails each time and has to watch her die over and over.

Jon's first kiss was with Joey, which they had in a broom closet after they snuck out during a church service ("Sound Judgement").

In "Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth" it is revealed Johanna wasn't killed immediately but lingered for nearly 36 hours afterward, and Jon still feels guilt for not going to visit her in the hospital.

" ... for fear he'd get lost trying to find his way out," Sweet neglected to add.

Okay, so, who's going to tear this apart with the relentless cheese grater of history and logic first?

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Wait, is this his ridiculous comic book version of events, or is he claiming that this actually happened? Cuz if the latter, then not enough in the universe.

edit: Hmm, I see if I follow the link it was in the comic.

Even then, it's a fairly ridiculous plot; murdering a high school newspaper reporter cuz she was getting too close to the truth? I suppose a competent writer could've made that good and interesting. Unfortunately, it's Sweet.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Wait, is this his ridiculous comic book version of events, or is he claiming that this actually happened? Cuz if the latter, then not enough in the universe.

Jon seems to want us to believe that the following actually happened:

"Jon's first girlfriend was [a high school] student. She was upper-class, which caused friction because dating someone below her social station seemed to be an issue with her. Jon's first kiss was with [her], which they had in a broom closet after they snuck [sic] out during a church service."

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Okay, so, who's going to tear this apart with the relentless cheese grater of history and logic first?

This thing looks beautiful in the same way one of those Tumblr posts looks beautiful, and I'm feeling particularly snarky today.

Johanna
Jon's first girlfriend was Johanna Ralston, a student at Sonny Tufts Jr. High. She was upper-class, which caused friction because dating someone below her social station seemed to be an issue with her.

And I'm absolutely certain her family is extremely happy that you've doxxed her.

Johanna's job, a reporter for the STJH Harbinger, was a also a bone of contention between the two. During the course of an investigation on misappropriated school funds, Johanna's life was threatened. She fearfully phoned Jon late one night looking for help, but he hung up on her. The following morning Jon learned that she had been killed in the driveway of her Apex Courts home by a bomb wired to her car's ignition system. He felt bad that he hadn't paid attention to her cry for help, a guilt he would carry with him for some time afterward.

So she followed the movie trope of phoning a "loved one" instead of, say, the fucking police? Totally believable.

So, what's your excuse for hanging up on her, Sweets? Did you hear the brutal grunting of black men in the background and get scared because it threatened your life?

Better question, exactly what fucking movie plot was she in that someone killed her with a fucking bomb in the ignition system instead of, say, a gun or a knife? I understand that sometimes murders are premeditated, but are you seriously implying that she was worth so much time that someone rigged her car to explode? And how did she know that the bomb was wired to her car? Was she held at gunpoint and told to turn on the ignition system? Or did the car blow up and she miraculously survived and had a cell phone that survived the explosion enough to call you and not the fucking authorities?

Two years after Johanna's death Jon finally confronted her killer, knocking her out and leaving her tied up for the police.

So you somehow figured out the killer and the police didn't.

Better question, given your amazing physique, astonishing wit, and undeniable intelligence, I'm kinda wondering how the fuck you managed to find this person and beat her the fuck up and leave her tied up for the authorities. In fact, isn't vigilante work rather frowned upon? I'm surprised the police aren't knocking down your door with a warrant for your arrest for assault. Were the police even looking for this person? They don't just arrest a person because someone said they were the cause of a murder. There's a thing called, you know, "evidence," and "procedure" and "innocent until proven guilty."

.... Wait a fucking second, this was a girl? What, was this part of some crazy hazing ritual from a sorority? Are cliques really that terrible nowadays? Did you just fucking admit that you socked a girl in the face? I'm actually surprised that you felt perfectly fine doxxing your charred girlfriend but not the crazy bitch that killed her.

He visited Johanna's final resting place for the first time and was able to pay his respects with a clear conscience. Jon still sometimes goes to Johanna's grave and talks to her when feeling troubled. This seems to ease his mind, though Josh finds the whole thing somewhat silly.

You seriously telling me you didn't go to her funeral?

You're a fucking dick.

Also, who the fuck is Josh? Is it the name of the guy that this story is actually told by that you stupidly forgot to wipe the name from?

During the "Cobra's Last Strike" arc Jon is haunted by nightmares in which he races to save her from the car, but fails each time and has to watch her die over and over.

Groundhog Day did time loops far better.

Jon's first kiss was with Joey, which they had in a broom closet after they snuck out during a church service ("Sound Judgement").

Because when I think about what makes me all horny, it's a motherfucking church.

Why would you sneak a fucking kiss in a broom closet, anyway? You aren't fucking getting a blowjob. Go outside you drama queen.

In "Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth" it is revealed Johanna wasn't killed immediately but lingered for nearly 36 hours afterward, and Jon still feels guilt for not going to visit her in the hospital.

You are a huge fucking dick.

All in all, the story's fake and gay, and even if a mere modicum of it is true, it just shows he's still a fucking dumbass and an asshole.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Somebody watched too much "Veronica Mars", I think.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

He's gotta just be talking about his comic. I know he's a delusional lackwit, but he can't be this delusional.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

He's gotta just be talking about his comic. I know he's a delusional lackwit, but he can't be this delusional.

Guy got lost in a hospital for hours.

Assume the worst with lolcows.

 

[Goofy Logic]

Does he really mix fact and fiction this thoroughly? I'm not sure if this is a trait of autism or schizophrenia.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

He couldn't have gone to a club though. It's full of fights and drug busts. From what he's said that's all happens in Memphis.

 

[Adamska]

I have mentioned my h.s. girlfriend before... under an assumed name, of course.

Because your shit tier comic book of delusion and falsehood is a good source of fact and truth. Jesus Sweets, even creationists use better sources than you do, and you actually went to a real people college for this.

Her dad's a big wheel in this town and I don't wish to cause a scandal.

It was probably more like you leaned in when she made out with Joe, then stalked her to get piss samples or something. It was probably even her that told you to fuck off. You utterly suck at reading the atmosphere so there's no way in hell you'd cotton onto any of this.

We were young and foolish.

Correction: You were foolish.

It didn't last.

So do most relationships. Most people don't masturbate and cry over a highschool crush decades later. You just happen to not be in the norm.

Ultimately she wanted more than I was willing to give.

How dare you be a functioning human being and do stuff like take responsibility and fucking bathe!

We broke up.

Translation: She said eww go away when she saw me listen to her pee.

I was depressed for weeks.

Honestly, you probably just stopped caring abour/stalking her. Mainly because I get the idea that if she did dump you, you'd be stalking her instead of Ashlaaay. Especially since no way you ever dated considering your psychotic obsession with Ashlaaay.

I almost quit the church over it.

Jon Sweet: demands that God gives him what he wants or else he quits caring about him.

Johanna

I'd like to note that Johanna is literally the feminine form of Jon. Hmm...

Jon's first girlfriend was Johanna Ralston, a student at Sonny Tufts Jr. High.

If this was his real first GF, he'd be bitching about her dumping his stupid ass instead of Ashlaaay more likely than not.

She was upper-class, which caused friction because dating someone below her social station seemed to be an issue with her.

And like Ashlaaay, she is conveniently rich. Then again, Sweets is retarded and thinks that even being a normal poor person is rich. This says a lot about his understanding of wealth.

Johanna's job, a reporter for the STJH Harbinger, was a also a bone of contention between the two.

And she happens to be a journalist too? Calling it now: Jonny Liarpants made her up to pretend that at least one non-troll would actually want to fuck his congenitally deformed ass.

I do love how he's implying he doesn't like her working his career. I like how he's jealous of his own fake girlfriend.

During the course of an investigation on misappropriated school funds, Johanna's life was threatened.

Oh wow, you actually decided to use a plot you saw from whatever movie you happened to watch at the time. The best part is that no criminal would give a shit about school money like this.

She fearfully phoned Jon late one night looking for help, but he hung up on her.

I like how even when you try and make yourself look better than you really are, you highlight why no one likes you. Not even your family. On top of that, I love how a person who thinks they're threatened decides to not call da po-po.

The following morning Jon learned that she had been killed in the driveway of her Apex Courts home by a bomb wired to her car's ignition system.

This was all done over a piddling amount of school money. Plus I'm certain you ripped off this idea from somewhere, you have no creativity. Plus now that she's conveniently dead, you can pretend she ever liked you.

He felt bad that he hadn't paid attention to her cry for help, a guilt he would carry with him for some time afterward.

Not unlike the time you shat your pants and did nothing to help your mommy from the thugs. Even idealized you is a faggot.

Two years after Johanna's death Jon finally confronted her killer, knocking her out and leaving her tied up for the police.

You couldn't even ambush your drugged up bro to murder him. This fictional bitch would make you a woman with a carving knife.

He visited Johanna's final resting place for the first time and was able to pay his respects with a clear conscience.

Like you ever care about people that aren't you.

Jon still sometimes goes to Johanna's grave and talks to her when feeling troubled.

You probably made a face out of your right hand and pretended to kiss it. Calling it, fake girlfriend's your wanking hand.

This seems to ease his mind, though Josh finds the whole thing somewhat silly.

I like how you still think that childhood friend would like you now.

During the "Cobra's Last Strike" arc Jon is haunted by nightmares in which he races to save her from the car, but fails each time and has to watch her die over and over.

You only use other people's tragedies to advance your own cause, so you probably wouldn't care in all honesty. Especially since you allegedly broke up with her since you couldn't be arsed to do things for her.

Jon's first kiss was with Joey, which they had in a broom closet after they snuck out during a church service ("Sound Judgement").

So Joe was her real BF, and you fantasized being in his shoes then. I have learned so much.

In "Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth" it is revealed Johanna wasn't killed immediately but lingered for nearly 36 hours afterward, and Jon still feels guilt for not going to visit her in the hospital.

Eh, you'd just get lost in it for eight hours. Also loved how you didn't call 911 for her or she didn't either.

 

[AnOminous]

You seriously telling me you didn't go to her funeral?

You're a fucking dick.

I like how even in his completely retarded, incredible heroic fantasy, he's still an unbelievably awful person.

 

[AJMLurker]

I have mentioned my h.s. girlfriend before... under an assumed name, of course. Her dad's a big wheel in this town and I don't wish to cause a scandal. We were young and foolish. It didn't last. Ultimately she wanted more than I was willing to give. We broke up. I was depressed for weeks. I almost quit the church over it.

Sweet Bro is doing what any classic virgin with rage would do, he's lying about having sex and a girlfriend over the internet. Of course, he's putting an extremely autistic spin on it by using his fictionalized self-insert's wiki page as proof. Like any 6 year old suffering from severe autism, Sweet will continue arguing in vain even if all the odds are against him. He's hoping people will eventually concede to his tantrums. No theory of mind and all that.

I believe Sweet Bro needs a timeout from the internet. Nobody told him that lying is bad so a punishment should set him straight. Anyone wanna give Mama Sweet a call?

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

I also enjoy the very child-like method of providing proof; "Well, if you examine my fictionalized depiction of events very loosely based on my life mixed with a healthy dose of fantasy, you'll see that" as if that's a legitimate form of evidence.

It's like that other science lolcow we've got a thread about who posts papers he's written where his citations for those papers are other papers he's written, where his citations for THOSE papers are still other papers he's written.

Or Marijan Siclic, the OG Virgin with Rage, literally linking to his blog as "proof" of his claims.