I need new glasses.

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Contact lenses scare me. I don’t wanna poke something onto my eye, and what if it just gets lost in there when I blink?

but on the other hand, my vanity demands i go for them
These soft lenses today are much easier than the hard ones I wore as a teen. All you have to do now, is pinch and pull. Don't be a pussy.
 
If you are buying glasses online, read this first so they're not too big or small for your head.

The measurement to take note is the lens size, bridge size, and your pupil distance. The lens size is a number between 45 and 60mm usually and the bridge size is usually between 10 and 20mm, add those two together and compare this number to your pupil distance, it should be about 5-10mm larger. As for pupil distance, hold a ruler up to the mirror under your eyes and take a selfie, basic math skills may be required. Average adult pupil distance is around 65mm for males and 60mm for females.
 
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