How would you kill the above poster?

Shaking hands with them. *cough*
 
Get the hose and spray them, when the caked up dirt starts to fall off it would take the sickly flesh it has been fused to with it, then the organs would fall out. In a couple of minutes the poster above will be reduced to a wet obese skeleton. Turns out he actually was big boned.
 
Got nothing against you, but if I had to choose a method.... probably making you listen to Richard Harris's cover of MacArthur Park on loop while chained to a bed until starvation/dehydration finishes you off.
You, OTOH, I would infect with guinea worms and lock you in a shed to scratch yourself to death. Apparently they cause a massive immune reaction when you rip them.
 
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