How will Ethan Ralph die (mid 2023 edition)

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How will Ethan Ralph die?

  • Has one sober thought and realizes the only honourable way out is to become an hero

    Votos: 7 3.7%

  • Fucks a South African hooker and dies slowly of aids

    Votos: 3 1.6%

  • Trips over his mountain of beer bottles and tumbles to his death

    Votos: 8 4.3%

  • His pig heart gives out

    Votos: 35 18.7%

  • Gets killed by the Chieftan of a local African tribe for his meat

    Votos: 3 1.6%

  • Becomes a sleepy boy on stream and never wakes up again

    Votos: 53 28.3%

  • Keffals pegs him to death

    Votos: 3 1.6%

  • Lives in an Islamic nation and gets stoned to death for being the ultimate Haram

    Votos: 0 0.0%

  • 5 bar days straight to an OD

    Votos: 37 19.8%

  • Lester will Derek Chauvin him

    Votos: 3 1.6%

  • Ralph lives forever out of spite, hatred and luck.

    Votos: 35 18.7%
  • Total de votantes
    187
Destacado
I want to say he'll live forever but realistically it'll be "Becomes a sleepy boy on stream and never wakes up again"
 
He'll finally drink the blood of Phil Burnell, then proceed to bankrupt both Vickers and Morris in court, seize all of their assets, have Faith and May living in his basement cages so they can cook and clean for him, and have his children there in front of the camera at all times, whether they like it or not.

In that streak of Ws, he will realize he is untouchable, he'll go to Vegas and bankrupt all of the casinos, and the IRS if it tries coming after him. Then he will inject maker's mark mixed with heroin and corn syrup directly into his eyeballs and die.
 
Quietly in his sleep, on stream, and no one will notice that he's not breathing for hours. He'll own us alawgs one last time by proving he's the GOAT by making money even when he's dead.
 
One day he's gonna holler so hard his heart will explode and the gunt will completely split itself in twain.
 
I think just generally "murdered" should be an option because I think he has it in him to purposefully piss someone off so much they shoot him or something. It would be like a form of accomplishment -- the idea that someone has the potential to go to prison over killing him.
 
He’ll live forever, can’t wait for the “How will Ethan Ralph die (2028 edition)”, “How will Ethan Ralph die (2045 edition)”, “How will Ethan Ralph die (2138 edition)” threads.
 
Realistically it will probably be the sleepy boi scenario. Luckily the gaming chair provides the support necessary to keep a lifeless body on display, and his compulsion to fire up a stream once he reaches a certain level of intoxication ensures that the Killstream will have the best possible chance to be appropriately documented. There will come a time when he just nods off, nothing out of the ordinary. After 10 minutes some viewers will express concern. By 15 minutes there will be talk of a wellness check. At this point there may be some movement of the jaw and changes in facial expression. By 30 minutes his face will be noticeably pale and devoid of muscle tone, mouth slightly open. Sometime between the one and two hour mark emergency services personnel will arrive and yank the desk out of the way. The camera on it's tripod will probably get knocked over or moved but if we are lucky Ralph will be using the laptop camera like last night and we may get to watch in surreal amusement as the ambulance personnel comment on the squalor and search for valuables.
 
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