How to become white?

[BayView]

I am non white and I am seeking to become white. Is there any brown-to-white corrective surgery out there? Also what brand of eye color changing contact lenses should I get?

 

[Bilbo is Saggin]

You got it all wrong. White is not the color of your skin; it's a state of mind. You've been white this whole time.

 

[BayView]

I found the process to become white. Looks kinda painful tho....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG62fQEjrYQ

 

[Caustic Gelatin]

There is a meeting in which our elders dressed in the finest hooded silk robes convene in order to determine how white someone should be. They then bring the person (usually a newborn infant) to a sacred pool of mystical white liquid, where it is submerged. The longer it stays under, the more white it will become.

The only way to be truly white is to search for one of these white springs, break in, then bathe in its mystical waters.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Change your name to something really white like John Smith. Fill out job applications, especially for police departments, till you get one. When the time comes shoot a black guy in self defense. Everyone will assume you’re white based on your name and jump the gun. When it turns out you’re a minority they will memory hole any attempts at referring to you as any other race to save face. Viola! You’re an honorary white.

 

[Monkey_Fellow]

Be born and win with RNG roll.

 

[mister meaner]

 

[fine tooth comb]

gene therapy will make every new cell in your body a white cell, so over the course of weeks your non-white cells will be replenished with whiteness and your soul is redeemed

 

[Epic Fail Man]

If you are the pajeet type of brown just use the toilet, speak with an American accent, and wash yourself and you should be fine.