How to attain Heaven

[ES 195]

There is only one way to guarantee your place in Heaven, brother.
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Heathens best start wrrrry'ding the bible.

 

[Teri-Teri]

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

 

[FatherPucci]

Do any of you believe in gravity?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Kennedy Space Center will bring us to Heaven.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Do any of you believe in gravity?

(((gravity)))

 

[break these cuffs]

Do any of you believe in gravity?

If gravity is real, then what is it's equal and opposite force? There should be one if our current understanding of physics is true.

 

[ButterFings]

If gravity is real, then what is it's equal and opposite force? There should be one if our current understanding of physics is true.

Gravity is not one single force but an overall measurement. Below the atmosphere the gravity is high hence we are held down. Above, the gravitational force is low hence things can float away.

 

[break these cuffs]

Gravity is not one single force but an overall measurement. Below the atmosphere the gravity is high hence we are held down. Above, the gravitational force is low hence things can float away.

Okay, if gravity is a measurement and not a force, what is it measuring?

 

[BILLY MAYS]

I have it on good authority you can buy a stairway to heaven.

But is it made in heaven?

 

[break these cuffs]

But is it made in heaven?

I guess that would depend on if it was built from Earth up, or from Heaven down. Does Heaven ever outsource its production needs to Limbo?

 

[José Mourinho]

Was gonna make a generic Jojoke here but this thread is literally a Jojoke.

 

[The Fool]

Kakyoin, did you make this shitpost?

 

[José Mourinho]

Kakyoin, did you make this shitpost?

No I think it’s Okuyasu.

 

[Monolith]

Do any of you believe in gravity?

did you make this account just to post here

 

[I should be working]

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven, love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

So what you're saying is, if we kill all the world's sinners we'd have made heaven here on Earth?

I see, I see.

I need to go restock my ammo cache.

 

[I should be working]

Do any of you believe in gravity?

Gravity was invented by the White man to keep the Black man down!

 

[Cedric_Eff]

C-Moon.

 

[AmokSweptMeFromMyFeet]

It seems like an irrelevant matter to be concerned about. No one can obtain knowledge about what happens after death, nor if anything is required to do for the deceased. If some ritual was necessary, no one could know about it nor have any knowledge about the requirements of it. Perhaps there's a magical dragon who requires that you burn a wooden effigy of a moth so that the deceased can ride it to the gates of Valhalla.
From observing other people who have died, the only conclusion which can be reached is that nothing happens. Treating death as if it's the end of everything would be the most prudent course of action because believing that something happens is contrary to the observable world of the life which you are certain about having, thus deluding you into behaving in a way which could negatively impact your life.

Atheism wins again. Go study the blade, kiddo.

 

[FatherPucci]

did you make this account just to post here

I created it about 30 minutes before the thread was created if you’d believe that. Had a good laugh over the timing myself though.

 

[Milk Mage]

JoJo references??? On MY cyberbullying forums???