How should an epic begin?

[Gorgar]

title

 

[King Fructose]

With puddi puddi

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Separation
Initiation
Return

 

[Retink]

Anal sex.

 

[NaggotFigger]

Bubba.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

The End.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

“Bright was the day”

 

[draggs]

Rage, Akhilleus!

 

[SandyCat]

"Nigger"

That will hook them in

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

An epic should begin with the words “Wow, this is” immediately before “epic”.

 

[Lucky Jim]

Sing to me, O Muse, of that man of many troubles, Odysseus, skilled in all ways of contending, who wandered far after he sacked (lol) the great city of Troy.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, as well as the, uh, gals. My name is Christian Chandler; I am here, and y'all are there.