How does one avoid being laughed at when pissing at a urinal?

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

Every time I take a piss at a urinal some jackass comes along and starts giggling to himself when he occupies the urinal next to me. How do I remedy these extremely distressing scenarios?

 

[dick brain]

A long time ago some genuine schizophrenic posted a bunch of his cartoons on /co/ and they were just caricatures of people he saw on the subway paired with strange phrases but one of them said "I see you're humping the urinal because you're afraid I might see your dick" and I still think about it like twice a year.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Pee sitting down. In the urinal.

 

[Myron]

learn defensive giggling.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

Wear a duster, wrap around sunglasses and hold a katana over your shoulder

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

Get a needle and poke your eardrums and your eyes

 

[peachlover669]

Simply step backwards and piss to the opposite side of the urinal from where he is situated at, the piss will arc off of the urinal and splatter all over him and then you will laugh at him instead because he is now covered in that strange brown-ish red liquid that comes out of your penis.

 

[alphabetnigger]

They key is to stand as far away as possible, this way you can impress any passerby with the intensity of your stream.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

find a less gay urinal to use

 

[Pagan Min]

You need to achieve dominance in this situation. Look him directly in the eyes and start laughing -- softly at first, then louder and louder until you're sounding like The Joker! Also helps if you turn toward him at that point, still pissing away...