How do you research Lolcows?

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First you want to get your penis nice and erect. Then you want to outline that dick on a piece of paper. After that you send it to the lolcow in question to gain their trust.

Boom. Inner circle.
 
You don't hunt Lolcows. they are shy creatures and easily spooked. instead you must build a nest among the cows favorite stomping grounds, say Twitter or some message board, and then lurk, still and motionless until the beast comes into view. them you must snap into action, documenting each and every thing, recording it all so you can post it before the beast dissapears.
 
-hang out in their usual haunt
-follow them when you first see them on that haunt and observe
-when they post more about themselves observe any links they share and follow them on other social media
-keep paying attention to anything they share
eventually you end up with stuff like a birthdate and name and from there google works okay but by then you don't always need it.
 
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