How do I patent something

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Fam, I need advice. How do I patent a thing I made. It's an actual physical thing and not software.

Anyone got any memes to help?

Hire Frank Chu. He just makes a screaming mongoloid chinkface and they immediately grant a patent just to get rid of him and not have to look at him any more.

I mean Wu. Whatever. That chink dude.
 
How do I patent a thing I made.

Getting a patent is a time intensive and potentially costly endeavor. I highly recommend that you get a patent lawyer, which will potentially get expensive. It is very critical that the application is filed correctly because even if it is, it will take a year or so for the process to be finished. Even a seemingly minor error will cause potential for decades in delays.

Its also important that you do the research necessary to determine that the item you have warrants a patent and that there isn't a conflicting patent already in existence. This again adds cost to the task of getting a patent.

The other issue is if your employer has rights over the work you do. This is an issue that many engineers run into because their employment contracts give their rights away.
 
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