How can I touch grass if there's snow on the ground?

[Rome's rightful successor]

Today I had a conversation with someone and they told me that I have lost the plot and need to go outside and touch grass. The problem is that there's snow on the ground and the grass underneath is dead.
How can I touch live grass here?

 

[Crunchy Oats]

Go somewhere hot, grow your own grass inside, find the top of your septic tank outside after a hot shower, and many more ways.

 

[Red Hood]

Tell them to touch your ass, they usually leave you alone after that.

 

[The Last Stand]

Brush the snow away.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Eat snow.
Then eat grass.

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

they told me that I have lost the plot and need to go outside and touch grass

Tell them you'll touch grass when they take the cock out of their ass and stop being a faggot.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Tell them you'd rather plow some arid land

 

[JethroTullamore]

Nigger.

 

[ditto]

Big Zuck will let you touch his metaverse grass

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

Take note that you are being informed that you are out of touch. When you notice that your observations are not in alignment with this suggested reality - pause, and reflect on this reminder 6 months from now. The grass should be fairly evident by then.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Dude you can get a heat gun and an extension cord from home depot for like $30 don't ask dumb questions.

...Oh wait, your pfp contains geography, you must not be American. I'm sorry, I should've been more considerate of your disability. Is there some kind of weapons permit you can apply for to get a hair dryer maybe?

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

The grass isn’t dead, it’s sleeping. Be patient. Maybe you should sleep as well.

 

[Product Placement]

Do you mean to torch the grass?

 

[AbyssStarer]

Dig, nigger.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Get a shovel you lazy cunt