How can I stop being late to work - I’m late every fucking day

[mister meaner]

Title

 

[tehpope]

Go to bed earlier and set an alarm. Get off electronics earlier.

 

[We Are The Witches]

What's up with these threads lately?

The answer is obvious so you must be waiting for a joke response.

---

Quit your job, that way there's no way you'll ever be late again!
(cue laughs)

 

[Feefee81093]

It's been an ongoing struggle for me. I find minimizing the morning routine and understanding a set time you need to leave helps. If I want to have breakfast at home or take my bath that morning I'll get up an hour earlier.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Drive faster on the road. Ignore your car's engine making funny sounds or the gauges showing up red. Definitely ignore all stop signs, traffic lights, and those assholes who flip on their blue lights (speed up if you see them).

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

Quit your job, that way there's no way you'll ever be late again!
(cue laughs)

this, just quit you job and the problem goes away,

Drive faster on the road. Ignore your car's engine making funny sounds or the gauges showing up red. Definitely ignore all stop signs, traffic lights, and those assholes who flip on their blue lights (speed up if you see them).

this is how i always drive and can recommend, it works really well.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Late AND GAY.

 

[tehpope]

Drink a ton of caffeine and stay up all night. Just leave on time and you'll never be late again. Sleep is for the weak.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I mean, does anybody care? If not I don't really see any reason to change things up.

 

[Rozzy]

You must go to bed earlier in the evening.
Make this your desktop wallpaper.

 

[ATI Escapee]

The only thing that helped when I was struggling hard, is to set every single clock (even phone, stove, microwave, car etc) manually to anywhere between 10 and 20 minutes fast, each one a unique but random amount of minutes ahead. Better yet task someone else with it so you dont know how many minutes ahead any clock is. Try to live your life by the time most ahead and never let yourself know exactly how off the clocks are. The panic of being late and not rreally being able to estimate how much time you (probably dont) have before work starts helped me so much in a past life. Much much better these days but I did that for years.

 

[Dialtone]

Just stress yourself out so hard that you wake up before your alarm, only to go back to sleep, only to then wake up again tired and then drag yourself to work.

 

[vomitusdeux]

shit, shave, shower, and eat breakfast all at the same time.

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

use meth

 

[Balthier]

Motivate yourself every day with "a nigger would be late today".

 

[Day Drinking]

I'm not afraid to use your penis, if necessary.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

Take zzzquil or melatonin vitamins. Or benadryl if those don't work.

 

[JethroTullamore]

Cocaine.

 

[mister meaner]

Drive faster on the road. Ignore your car's engine making funny sounds or the gauges showing up red. Definitely ignore all stop signs, traffic lights, and those assholes who flip on their blue lights (speed up if you see them).

I do this already, but I eventually get stuck behind some assholes who are going too slow and occupying both lanes so I can’t overtake them

 

[mister meaner]

I'm not afraid to use your penis, if necessary.

What did they mean by this