How can I protect my prostate from vegans and eco-terrorists?

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

I was milking my prostate and you know what was released when I came?

Almond milk

Fucking almond milk. Goddamn Greenpeace and PETA replaced all of it and now I can only cum almond milk. I am a red-blooded American carnivore. This aggression cannot stand.

Help

 

[DumbDude42]

sounds like you forgot to activate your almonds

 

[Divine right to rule]

stop insering things in holes not meant for it

 

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

stop insering things in holes not meant for it

What happens in the almond or hard stays in the almond orchard.

 

[Your Best Friend]

Had this problem before too. In my experience, if you sleep with some kind of meat in your boihole it keeps the vegan faries from molesting your fun botton. Preferably some kind of hotdog, NOT imitation meat for obvious reasons, tried that once to save on money cause nobody actually buys that shit and you can find large quantities in the dumpster behind grocery stores in white neighborhoods, but let's just say it's a good way to wake up with a tongue in your butthole, unless you're into that kind of thing, idk. Anyway, I'd personally reccomend a bratwurst of some kind. You don't have to worry about it plopping out during the night. Precooked breakfast sausages are also a decent choice, your anus will steadily heat them throughout the night so if you ever oversleep you don't have to stress about breakfast, that part is already done. Hope this helps.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Soy milk shrinks it making it less vulnurable,