how can I increase my lifespan

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

I want to live long enough to see the release of Final Fantasy 69

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

stay hydrated and take your vitamins, smoke at least 3 cigarettes a day, take CoQ10

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

Have you tried drinking mercury to achieve immortality?

 

[Jason Wynn]

Cannibalize Chris and you'll obtain his Teflon Tard powers protecting you from any and all worldly maladies.

 

[Seymour Glass]

there's some spice you need to eat to live forever. I think its in the ending of gilgamesh

 

[TroonsDid911]

Calorie Restricted Mediterranean Diet
Tai Chi or Yoga
Moderate Exercise including Cardio and Muscle Building
Proper sleeping including avoiding electronic screen lights before bed
Avoiding Alcohol, Tobacco and other drugs
Drink plenty of water
Drink various kinds of tea
Form social connections with people

All of these taken together will help extend lifespan and slow aging / ward off diseases.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Cannibalize Chris and you'll obtain his Teflon Tard powers protecting you from any and all worldly maladies.

Attempting to cannibalize chris will result in your (hilarious) demise, and we will all laugh at you. The teflon tard cannot be slain by a mere mortal.

 

[Swine Schwein]

By taking care of cardiovascular health, by having a nutrient-rich diet, not being fat, not putting bad things into your mouth/lungs/veins/ass/genitals, being lucky, being rich, being blessed. Also, not being a filthy japanophile weeaboo playing shitty games.

 

[Finger Pistols]

Bathing in the blood of virgins has worked well enough for me.

 

[dick brain]

1. Don't be fat
2. Don't smoke/drink/drug
3. Do resistance training
4. Do cardio
5. Maximize dietary fiber for some reason
6. Probably get cancer anyway

Source: a Peter Attia video I watched one time

 

[Aljam]

 

[Cat tit bingo]

You need to obtain a steady and reliable source of fresh organs. There's many ways to do this, one option is the Rothschild technique where you just have so much wealth you can buy organs at any time or something like the ayanami method which involves cultivate many clones of your self suspended in tang so you just grab parts when needed.

 

[Waifu Days]

Don't die

 

[Meat Target]

Harvest adrenochrome from the spinal cords of babies.

 

[eatler]

Go the head jar route from futurerama, Im sure they can just plug you into a robot once the game comes out.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

All you need to is simply syphon the life force of other Farmers. Use their life span to artificially extend your own. You can do this by giving them all as many Neg Rates as possible.

 

[gagabobo1997]

I drink 3 energy drinks and smoke a pack a day. I think it'll make me live forever

 

[TheRetardKing]