How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

How so? This kind of sounds like you’re marrying someone you’re not sure about. Do not do that. Do you need help to not marry someone?
More getting married in general, because I don't think it would be 'fair' for anyone to marry me the way I currently am, and there's a specific point regarding religion(basically apostasy in an area that very heavily frowns on it) that I don't think I'll ever be able to properly fix which means it would be a very major secret I'd keep from any potential spouses or lovers, or even children, and I wouldn't want to do that.
 
I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something but I forgot what? Read some anti-psych stuff and now I'm back to "Drop the goypills" but the rational side of me that's like "No." is a bit louder so I think I'll be fine. Oh shit I remembered what I was supposed to be doing as I was typing this lol.
 
I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something but I forgot what?

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Hope your brain and body hasn't taken damage from that, shit's scary.
It was scary realizing I fucked up, I don't think there is any permanent damage from what I read, I haven't developed any lung or allergy issues from it and the brain fog and tiredness cleared up quickly once I got rid of the source.
 
Genuinely, how often do you see an adult with a somewhat functional social life go "yeah so I joined a new book club".
Weekly, because I'm in a book club and every week, really nice, functional, friendly new people join. For sure there's some people who join because they don't have a great social life (me included, I've talked in this thread about my own social isolation after all my friends fucked off to all corners of the universe, I became a remote worker, and my marriage ended), but even they are typically good once you get to know them; they've usually just fallen off the side of socialization because of work or some other circumstance beyond "they're bad at peopleing".

It's been going since January (I joined in March I think) and it has become a really tight-knit group of friends, at least the regulars. Of course some people join and then don't gel with it and leave, but it's surprisingly been a minority. As of yesterday (the official sessions are on Wednesdays, plus any other gathering that may come up on other days), the core group is 24 people, plus like 30 more that "joined" recently but haven't joined a session yet but do talk online. Sessions usually have between 10 and 18 people present, as not everyone is available every week and people's houses and apartments are only so big. We've had to implement processes to keep things manageable, and regulate the rate people are added to the "core" group.

I'm even pretty sure two members are hooking up.

What I'm saying with all this is: book clubs, sports groups, hiking groups, and in general hobby groups* can and do work for people who want to socialize, but you have to put in the effort. First you join, then you show up, then you are actually open to actively participate. If someone joins but doesn't go, or goes and just stands there, it won't work for them.

I feel like what you're saying is just being predisposed to it not working, so it won't work, so don't do it.

But from personal experience, it can work.

*I do admit I'm prejudiced against D&D and Card collecting game groups, as I expect those do attract the dankest, most non-functional spergs available. Anecdotally, my daughter told me the other day that she and her mom went into a card hobby shop to ask about something or other, and the whole store SMELLED OF ASS.
 
It was scary realizing I fucked up, I don't think there is any permanent damage from what I read, I haven't developed any lung or allergy issues from it and the brain fog and tiredness cleared up quickly once I got rid of the source.
That's a positive at least. Glad you didn't suffer anything permanent.
 
I've talked about my wömen stories before (here and in the "why are you single" thread), but I stopped because I had found someone I thought things would work with.

Some months ago I met a woman, nearly same age, good taste in music, pretty cool, etc. We went out for a while, did stuff, etc, and eventually became officially a couple.

The day we hit 1 month officially together, we went out to celebrate, it was all great, until I got a text from my ex, my kid's mom. She doesn't message me unless there's a reason, so I always check her messages to see what's going on. I checked it, and indeed, kid is sick (caught a cold again, for like the fifth time in a row, it's been months of sick, recover, sick, recover, sick). The whole thing took like a minute and a half, and this was enough for my then girlfriend to flip out. She had a lot of trouble accepting that my ex is still in my life and a constant presence (which she knew), that we're still a family of some kind (which I think is the healthiest and most desirable outcome when you have kids and split up), that I can't know if it's an emergency unless I check the messages, and so on.

We made up in the end, but for the next month, she made a big deal of every little issue. Things like I took too long to answer a message because I was busy with work one day (which she does constantly), I was insufficiently enthusiastic about a letter she wrote to me (half of which was bitching about the month-iversary incident), I did not shit my pants at the story about some random item falling on its own at her house which is totally haunted (because I don't believe in the paranormal), all of those things were reasons to make a fuss and act passive aggressive. But I was deferential, out of respect for her feelings.

The last one was, we were on the phone, I was paying full attention, but she didn't feel I was; so she started with the passive aggressive stuff again, and I got pissed and stopped talking for a couple days. She did the same.

On the third day I decided it wasn't worth continuing; turns out she decided the same.

We broke up on the day we hit 2 official months.

It's a pity, because she was absolutely incredible in every other way. She just had a streak of immaturity when it came to my unavoidable relationship with my ex, such as it is, and it caused all these unreasonable behaviors. She doesn't have kids, obviously, which I can understand shapes her perception of things, she doesn't have the experience of parenthood, but she's 42 and sharp as a whistle; she should be able to understand it and accept it.
Oh, and the paranormal/zodiac shit. Get out of here. Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?

I know I've said in previous situations, but now for real, I'm gonna stay intentionally single for a while. I got rid of all the dating apps when we went official, and I'm not reinstalling anything for a long time, if ever.
Also I have financial shit to work through.
 
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