Got a new adjustable pillow. Been sleeping with a stiff one designed to nestle into your neck for like 15 years so it's difficult to adjust to a "normal" pillow. The whole 'your spine must be straight' mentally is tough when.. a pillow by definition raises your head? I've been removing the innards a bit every day, hoping it'll eventually click one day.
I wake every morning with red eyes and having had barely any sleep. Hopefully I can get bloodwork done and see if it's emerging allergies and if I need any supplements after a few years of daily fasting. Doubt either would ruin my sleep but yknow, grasping at straws. It ain't apnea, just got tested for that.
Bullying is evil.
“But but but it toughens kids up and stops them from being trannies and—“
No, sorry. It’s evil.
I need to talk to someone. All my friends are asleep though, so I will sleep too.
March Comes in like a Lion is a tough anime because one of the big arcs is seeing a cute daughter figure being bullied and as an adult you literally can't do anything about it. Oh gonna step in? Now she's getting bullied for needing the help of an adult. Maybe appealing to the bully's parents and hoping they're reasonable might work but usually bullying is taught at home.
Throwing resumes into the void and getting nothing back. I'm actually getting kinda concerned I might be blacklisted or something. I usually get some sort of bite by now.
It's still wild to me that I quit my dogshit bully-riddled job to nothing, and then by sheer luck got my old job back before I had to file for unemployment. I don't know what I wanna work with in the future, but knowing this is my last time working -here-, the next one has to be perfect, which is impossible to say obviously, but there's basically no promotions in the public sector and the private one is scary. Sick 5 days in a row? Out the door. Supervisor don't like you? Out the door. What happened to 3-5 jobs to a lifetime? I've already been through 4 and I just cornered 30.
A lot of my old classmates, even those without presence or confidence, have just worked an office gig and been promoted every 2 years. I really, really wish I could just be happy with what I got for a few years while building up hobbies and friends but it's tough. Not that I've tried, at all, but yknow. What's to try out? Church groups? Boomer soccer groups? Hoping this motorbiking works out and I land a leathery hoe with boring brown hair nobody would miss on the meat market.
I never got these months. Pride month, black history month— Why does anything need a whole month?
It makes sense for shit like male health or things not in the public's eye. We've already seen several names in BLM exploit the fundraising for personal gain and faggots are louder and prouder than ever. We should clean up the calendar and start shit like.. idk, philiphine week. Foreign culture day. Shit that isn't in the public's mind at all times, like trannies dicking down kids.
