How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[AnOminous]

Like shit. My cat just fucking died. She wasn't even sick. She just literally fucking died out of nowhere! So there's my dad, my dog, and my cat, all dead within a year. FUCK THIS WORLD. I HATE THIS FUCKING PLANET.

 

[Yellow Rose Of Texas]

Like shit. My cat just fucking died. She wasn't even sick. She just literally fucking died out of nowhere! So there's my dad, my dog, and my cat, all dead within a year. FUCK THIS WORLD. I HATE THIS FUCKING PLANET.

Sorry to hear that man. Losing a pet is always the worst.

 

[Outer Space Traveller]

Like shit. My cat just fucking died. She wasn't even sick. She just literally fucking died out of nowhere! So there's my dad, my dog, and my cat, all dead within a year. FUCK THIS WORLD. I HATE THIS FUCKING PLANET.

Sorry about that man. I know this is hard to say, for not being on your shoes, but try to keep your head up. There is no ill that lasts forever.

 

[Getmeout]

I’m gonna get my weave soon and I’m using an actual hair razor to cut it this time, idk if I trust it to give the style I want though. I like rambling about hair. Are hair razors good?

Like shit. My cat just fucking died. She wasn't even sick. She just literally fucking died out of nowhere! So there's my dad, my dog, and my cat, all dead within a year. FUCK THIS WORLD. I HATE THIS FUCKING PLANET.

Within a year? Holy shit, that’s awful, I’m so sorry Hang in there, Ominous, I really hope things start looking up for you

 

[73_Autistic_Fuck_54]

I have been losing my fucking mind trying to find a job that I can handle (due to autism problems), indeed has quite a lot of jobs available, but they're not only too far away from where I live, but they're also all jobs that I am NOT built for.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

i'm sooo eepy sleepy today. i got my ears pierced on thursday and the piercing pillow makes a huge difference. i got them done professionally but i hope i'll be able to manage the upkeep (depression)

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Bossman makes me lead and says he's fucking off for a week. Cool!
The missus decides this is a great time to play victim over "I have a boundary with your shitty behavior" and got herself a DUI for it. FUCK! So much for having the ability to concentrate on the job that pays me, the job that I pay to do decided to go hard mode.

When I picked her up she was surprised, not thankful. The jail just wanted her gone, hence my literally signing her out as a 'responsible adult' who blew .000 BAC and assumed responsibility for her behavior, but that's a good sign. Probably. Probably more room for felons. Not being annoyed? She was still drunk.

Over the week she slowly realizes "... I fucked up" but still can't entirely wrap her fucking head around responsibility, cause and effect, and, "I can't just blame & complain my way out of things." Not entirely. She kept saying I was at fault in some way (that shrank day by day) for making her upset for having boundaries with her deciding to make me her stress ball because of the sin of helping her with a 3 year lawsuit that we won.

Because, of course, when the stressor is lifted, is when you decompensate. And shit on people who care about you.

Does she understand the system will put her in jail if she fucks up again? Yes! She gets this! She's dry!
Does she understand managing her behavior when there isn't an externalized source of pressure? No! Not at all!

She is a fluid that fills her container. The only way I can manage her is if this was the 1950s and men could do that. It is not the 1950s. I cannot manage her. I hold her to account and she pitches a fit, deflects, reflects, drives away, but now doesn't drink like a fish anymore.

Instead of actually apologizing or owning shit up or talking out expectations it's like "I went and got my IUD re-done" (sex offer?) but of course she's bleeding for the next few days and frankly dicking her is pretty low on my mind.

To add insult to injury, someone from high school, 1500+ miles away, who glowed up like a fucking Disney princess, dropped a line announcing I was her crush from high school. That was nice. More appreciation for what I am and what I do from someone I haven't talked to in over 20 years than someone I spent the past 10 with.

I've tolerated total shit because it's literal needle-in-a-haystack mode right now. A literal crumb of decency was like a breath of fresh air.

Work was... acceptable. I managed to fucking stagger through it. I couldn't sleep, and then I couldn't wake up. But I also couldn't stay awake, or go back to sleep. Because I spent 10 years on a retard.

I fucking print 5 figures just doing a volatility trade monthly, have a day job on top of it, have an AI center in my basement, cook, put up with this shit, and I have earned nothing for it except grey hairs and money. Instead, all I've learned from this is that people are extremely fickle, even more retarded, and it's not what you do or do not do that determines how they treat you. Not at all. It's what they decided about you in their own mind regardless of reality.

My lease can't end soon enough. Maybe I'll be going back to my hometown. Or looping a dirt bike off a cliff.

God fucking dammit, I am so FUCKING tired of busting my ass for people who just glare at me for it while someone sweet who isn't a fucking entitlement monster goes "aww I miss you". And that shit never actually lasts meeting back up! This ain't my first rodeo. I'm over 40.

And this is on top of the " MY IDENTITY IS WHO I WANT TO FUCK AND ALSO I AM A VICTIM " retards who literally can't fucking read or possess common sense or cause-and-effect, even if you shove their nose into what a SCOTUS Justice wrote out for them. But they run NGOs. Despite not grasping law. Or policy. Or what anyone who isn't like them wants or thinks they want.

It's just retardation beginning to end, and even my formerly libertarian ass is now fully understanding now that a lot of people need to be managed. They're retarded. Reality doesn't matter to them. They experience the world through people they whine at or otherwise manipulate into doing shit for them, and when they make real decisions it makes everything suck more. Then they double down on "MAKE IT WORK THE WAY I WISH IT WOULD OR SOMETHING IS BIGOTED ABOUT THIS!!" until it collapses under the weight of their ego and adipose tissue.

OTOH why is Kiwi Farms here? Why does it exist?

• Retards exist
• Society can't handle them
• We're also retards but just smart enough to laugh at them instead of joining them
• Sneed
• Niggerfaggot

 

[Otterly]

Like shit. My cat just fucking died. She wasn't even sick. She just literally fucking died out of nowhere! So there's my dad, my dog, and my cat, all dead within a year. FUCK THIS WORLD. I HATE THIS FUCKING PLANET.

I’m really sorry. That’s a hard lot of stuff to hit you all at once.

 

[Fat Camp Intern]

The landlords raised the rent earlier this year, citing an increase in property taxes as the reason.

I just found out they're taking a cruise.

Fuck Boomers. Lazy, entitled fucks.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

You mean @Spark the Electric Jester ?...
Speaking of people disappearing from the thread, there was also @Juan But Not Forgotten who used to post here. I see you've been around yesterday, hope you're doing well mate. Although judging from your recent posts perhaps that's not so...

Yea, him. Spark's fine, right? I hope Juan is too.

There is nothing to post about. Shit sucks and I am getting buried at the job I hate. My days were basically either working or resting/preparing for the day. 1.5 months were basically stolen from my life and I am sure there is gonna be more. I'd quit since I don't care anymore, but I am so tired that I just half-ass everything and wait to get fired. Whatever happens next doesn't bother me. All I need is to finish one last little thing.

 

[demicolon]

HEAT. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE HEAT SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION NEURAL CONNECTIONS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY BRAIN. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DENDRITES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HEAT AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HEAT. HATE.

 

[ilovecornsyrup]

I was really bored last night so I decided fuck it and downloaded Tinder. Today I see that I have a few matches already. The app is retarded with its annoying notifications and I am incapable of feeling love so I wonder how many women I will disappoint. I've never tried online dating, any tips?

Update: I'm now "dating" a woman with severe BPD. Thanks Tinder I guess.

My doctor upped my opioid dose and now doesn't answer the "when am I going to get off of it" question. Fell for it again award.

 

[LonesomeDud]

Man, and I was coming here to bitch about someone eating my treat and being constipated for a few days. I guess I'm okay.

 

[demicolon]

Update: I'm now "dating" a woman with severe BPD. Thanks Tinder I guess.

Fuck sickos (big time!)

 

[PetiteFeet]

I figured out how to run a game from my childhood, The Pink Panther in Passport to Peril, so I'll snuggle up with a blanket and play comfy kiddy adventure games tonight.
I have a meeting with my tard wrangler and a case worker about my allotted weekly hour and hopefully getting it bumped back up to two hours minimum on Wednesday, but to be frank I'm reaching a point of acceptance that I can't improve beyond what I have going for me currently. If the medical professionals refuse to help me with my AvPD and only want to give me medicine that causes me to further spiral, I don't quite know where else to turn.

Sucks to suck.

 

[Getmeout]

Update: I'm now "dating" a woman with severe BPD. Thanks Tinder I guess

Whoof, that won’t work out until she gets help. Maybe try to slowly and gently leave. Or encourage her to get help.

AvPD

Oh, you poor woman. I can’t imagine how awful that is AFAIK, clusters can be helped with pills but ultimately will be managed with a mixture of medication and intense therapy. It sucks so bad cause clusters are sorta just- There? You didn’t choose them but they are literally your entire personality, it’s such unfair bs.

Thread Tax: I bought a TV for very cheap and I’ve just been playing video games on it. And I got a weave appointment tomorrow and have a shiny new razor to feather it with, honestly? Life is… Good! This is also the longest I’ve been on my meds, looking back to when I was on and off them and thinking some really weird things… It seems weird now, ya. I’m gonna take them again today and go on a drive, the TADC movie is soon so will be seeing that with a friend. Can’t wait cause I heard it sucks and I LOVE bad movies. Speaking of which, I’ve been forcing said friend to watch a lot of random movies with me. Meds also made me interested in hobbies again and I’ve realized I’m a huge fan of obscure 2000s horror/drama films. We’re gonna watch Petals On The Wind next and laugh at how psycho it gets.

I should also clean my closet, I don’t wanna, but it’s gotta be done SOMEDAY. There’s shit from preschool in there!

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I have been losing my fucking mind trying to find a job that I can handle (due to autism problems), indeed has quite a lot of jobs available, but they're not only too far away from where I live, but they're also all jobs that I am NOT built for.

We got this coworker who has a genetic illness that slowly destroys her arms. She won't recover and is becoming more and more unfit for this job, but as people were saying "this isn't the kind of job for her", I'm like.. then what is? It's bottom-drawer manual labor. Oh sorry honey, your body demands you upscale to an office job you'd be unable to get without further education at this point. Clown world.

I reached out yesterday, no reply (strike two).

Never text twice. Not friends, not matches, not flirts. If they read it and don't reply within 24 hours, there's potential for a decent explanation. If you refresh the request by a second message, you both extend their lease and rob you of a measure of how much they give a shit. I've got friends who only reply every other week to rant, and then quickly stuff in an answer to my hanging message to justify the delay. The more things you got going on in life, the easier you can forget about the people who don't want to partake in it.

Speaking of: I took an extra shift today cause "boohoo nobody cares if I'm available anyway". Cozy shift, early home, then bored to death with nothing to do. I haven't rushed home to my computer in decades but I still have some kind of online urgency despite not playing any online games or getting IMs I can't deal with on my phone. I used to read on the balcony for ages after work or be okay playing an old dogshit game for weeks on end alone if it was any fun.

I used to force myself to play builders and survival games to practice being creative, always having been that "Uhh I don't draw" type of person. Need to force myself back to that.. at least it's more feasible than forcing myself through a new game genre or something.

 

[Getmeout]

Having a weird emotional moment, I thought back to all the awful shit my mom did to me and I thought— Yknow what? I want kids so I can do the exact opposite of that, I wanna read them bedtime stories, and ask about their hobbies, and punish them with talkings to rather than beating the shit out of them. And we’ll go on picnics, and I’ll get them a hamster or something, and they’ll have huge birthday parties the whole neighborhood will attend, and I’ll tuck them into bed every night and tell them I love them and also they’re never allowed to meet their grandmother.

I mean I probably won’t but it’s a nice thought.

 

[TerminalBlueIce]

I feel like the universe has quietly smiled upon me and I am sitting on the beach in the mid-Atlantic in 77 degree weather being thankful. I've been through the wringer and divorce over the past three years. But for the first time in a long while there's hope and sunlight. Feels good. Almost unfair

 

[TotalNematodeDeath]

Just found like 30 Nollywood films at Goodwill, 60 bucks was well worth the price. My fucking next month is set and life is good kek.