How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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veri dijo:
something weird happened but i dunno if i'm being schizo or not.

i pulled in a parking lot today (for tacos). when i came back to my car after like 10 mins and there was a car parked right next to me in this barren ass parking lot (1). these two dudes got in the car and were kind of looking at me which combined with parking next to me was pretty weird. i lit up and read the farms for about 5-10 minutes. these dudes were still mad staring, and coincidentally once i went to put out my joint they decide to start their car and leave (2). i wasn't in a hurry to leave because it's MY life and i use my time how i want to. so for another minute or two these dudes were just stopped like 40 feet ahead of me still looking over their shoulders (3). so i drove past the next row of parking spots to leave and only then did they decide to start driving (4). i turned onto the street at the first exit and they drove past. i looked over my shoulder to see if they took the next exit out of the parking lot, and of course like 3 seconds later i saw the car pull out (5). they pulled up next to me again and were still staring like what the fuck!!! get a life bitch!!! so i gave them a weird look and they kept following for another few blocks and eventually turned off.

am i tripping? that's 5 really distinct things i noticed, something way similar happened less than a week ago. the only time i piss off other people on the road is when they suck at driving. it's like i'm famous, all these people wanna know what's up with my life. i actually live very normally and only i be ausitstic at designated times.
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Did they glow in the dark? Embrace the spirit of St. Terry. You know what needs to be done...
 
Saw gastroenterologist Tuesday. Good news - he doesn't think I have colon cancer. Nevertheless, will have endoscopy and colonoscopy in a couple of months. Only real issue I have right now is fatigue.

Walking buddy and I went to get our lottery tickets this morning, nice walk. Store next to Jack-in-the-Box. Saw some homeless person sacked out on the sidewalk of Jack's. Unusual, normally don't see people sleeping on the sidewalk much. Got our tickets, had the usual yap with the lady at the counter. Came out. This homeless fuck had puked all over the sidewalk next to where he'd been sleeping. Disgusting. Felt sorry for the poor Jack's employee who would need to clean this stuff up. Today sunny and warm, that puke was going to get really nasty quickly.

Also walked through the local "regular" supermarket, was looking for something the commissary didn't carry. Pack of six regular Klondike bars was going for $6.65. Commissary price is maybe half that. Looked at frozen pies and cheesecakes. Similar price discrepancies. Know the store needs to make a profit but these prices seem excessive. No wonder this store never seems that busy.
 
Finally home from the hospital. Gotta go through lots of physio to learn to walk properly again. Mama Fraggle has stayed over for a while to help me and the husband especially with the baby, considering there’s 2 humans in the household that require being pushed around now.
 
spending my anniversary looking up divorce attorneys and crying/hating life generally :story:
over it all...that said, i hope the above kiwis get a break today and start feeling better! we all deserve better times ahead, thats for damn sure.
 
i'm doing well. i recently resigned a greenhouse manager position at a small local business, for a broader management position at a much larger business which specializes in native plants and grasses. it's been going well, and i'm thrilled to be working outside, and to be handling something other than houseplants. also, i no longer have to deal with the public!

@Lee Crabb: there is quite a bit of dissent in the exercise physiology and kinesiology research about whether delayed onset muscle soreness actually exists. regardless, most certified trainers will tell you to stetch after heavy lifting. they will also tell you to not do the same reps/sets of the same weight-bearing exercises on continuous days. that's a recipe for injury. reference
 
I mentioned this in the today thread, but I was surprised to find a last paycheck deposited from my old job at KFC this morning. Well I guess I'm still entitled to it cause I worked there, even if it was only for a day before I remembered "oh right I quit this shit job because the hours are long, the work is stressful, and it's a shit job that nobody but Teenagers/college students and ex cons/junkies should do."

Still...On some level I do feel kinda bad. As bad as it was I just up and left after being given a second chance. The last thing I said to my old boss (in a text message) was "I'm going to college, I can't come back." Not 100% a lie but I'm going as an employee not a student, then I blocked her number completely. One thing's for certain, I can NEVER reapply to any kfc where I live ever again. I kinda burned that bridge and good. Hell I probably can't even show my face in either restaurant ever again if only because they'll be beyond pissed at me. Still it's not that big a loss, New job starts monday and it's one I needed for a long time. Even if it is more dishwashing.

Well speaking of old jobs. My last one at the bar actually asked if I could come back the other day. That one I would have been more than happy to return to and stay there cause it was a blast. Eh, but as I've said new one starts monday and It's full time with only Friday and Saturday off, and the bar didn't have any openings that day. Unlike with KFC I left them on good terms and no hard feelings.

Lastly...on an even more personal note. As good as things seem to FINALLY be going. I can't help but feel like this is some kinda "last chance." A "don't fuck this one up focus, make a good first impression on Monday, work smarter not harder, and do whatever it takes to make this one last, " scenario. I don't know if i believe in karma, luck, guardian angels and all that jazz, but it's like the universe has given me too many second chances as it is, and this big one is my last one. A fresh start to really put my life in order and start on a road to bigger and better things. Onward and upward...just don't fuck this one up.
 
A Grey Cat dijo:
Lastly...on an even more personal note. As good as things seem to FINALLY be going. I can't help but feel like this is some kinda "last chance." A "don't fuck this one up focus, make a good first impression on Monday, work smarter not harder, and do whatever it takes to make this one last, " scenario. I don't know if i believe in karma, luck, guardian angels and all that jazz, but it's like the universe has given me too many second chances as it is, and this big one is my last one. A fresh start to really put my life in order and start on a road to bigger and better things. Onward and upward...just don't fuck this one up.
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I can't say I know what you're personally going through, but one thing I had to come to terms with and work on learning is that putting too much pressure on yourself only hurts you. By the sounds of things, God is watching over you and has a plan for you in mind. And no matter how many times you fail, you can always get yourself back up.

Stay strong, friend.
 
on one hand: the only therapist i can find that looks decent takes my insurance
on the other: i'm fucking poor and sad

oh and i got to pet a dogy :)
 
Última edición:
I want to leave my job, I haven't been able to attend church in a month, I haven't spoken to my friends, for an extended period also.

The Anabaptist ladies at my store are always quite polite and kind, and I enjoy seeing them.

I feel estranged from God, and I don't want that to be so.
 
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