How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Got it checked by a doctor?

Not yet, but to be honest, I don't trust local doctors. Not because I am paranoid, but because I have a long history of them giving me bullshit treatment for my ailments. Plus COVID makes it hard to visit anyone here. And it's almost a New Year's day, so I'll have to wait anyway. Funny thing is that they are swollen, but they don't hurt. The last time I had my fingers swollen I wanted to yell.

 

[Vingle]

Currently just sleeping, eating and taking a bath and infrared sauna sessions. Kinda checked out mentally and I don't even understand why my parents bother to have me here over New Years.
The biggest problem I have with being here, is that it feels invading to have them close on me. Luckily, I got my dear sound cancelling headphones. But it's obnoxious to turn it off all the time to listen to something they say to me. I'm not interested in interacting with you, leave me alone.
It doesn't happen that much more in my apartment, but at least I'm free to do my own shit and doesn't have to take consideration for others.

And ye, I hate how I become this mess in their home. Kinda pissed too, as my parents really don't see it and don't even know their own child.

Anyway, I look forward to coming home and working out again.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Woke up feeling pretty sick today. Feels like a cold, not the flu. Slight fever, but kind of worried as I got that feeling in my chest that I usually get before I get really sick. Almost like you can feel whatever it is moving down into your lungs. Usually means I'm in for a round of bronchitis. I'll probably have to go see a doctor and get some antibiotics.

Could be coof, I suppose, but I am vaccinated and haven't been out much lately. If it is the coof, it feels pretty mild. Had 2 relatives die of coof last year, so it does make me nervous being old and all, but I'm not freaking out over it and not getting tested unless I get super sick. I'm just annoyed because I was going to have family over for New Years' Eve and now I won't be able to.

 

[Prj4MW8iPT3vmFM2rzDc]

Struggling

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Once again wondering if I'm dying or just anxious

Update: anxiety and need of food.

 

[Archeops]

I'm currently stuck between "Aw fuck!" and "Fuck yeah!" in terms of feelings right now. It turns out my "Christmas Time in Troontown" trip has just been extended by at least couple of weeks due to some family-related stuff.

I'm mildly annoyed with the idea of not being back home but I'm fine being here for a little while longer, it gives me more to do things I was planning on doing but either spent the days I had planned for 'em doing menial shit or hunkering down due to the weather.

 

[Monkey Shoulder]

Like many others I only post here when I'm doing bad, and maybe only when I'm drunk, but whatever.

Went drinking with some friends, felt like shit, but figured it would do more good than bad, right?
Now I'm drunk, and got a couple of valiums inside of me. They don't do shit, so no sleep tonight either. Tried rekindling with this girl I had a thing with in the summer, but that's not gonna work out this time either. I'm too fucking old to be feeling like this.

 

[Vingle]

Like many others I only post here when I'm doing bad, and maybe only when I'm drunk, but whatever.

Went drinking with some friends, felt like shit, but figured it would do more good than bad, right?
Now I'm drunk, and got a couple of valiums inside of me. They don't do shit, so no sleep tonight either. Tried rekindling with this girl I had a thing with in the summer, but that's not gonna work out this time either. I'm too fucking old to be feeling like this.

Shhh, kitty. Just give in to your feline instincts and do nothing all day. You will feel better.

 

[Monkey Shoulder]

Shhh, kitty. Just give in to your feline instincts and do nothing all day. You will feel better.

You're probably right

 

[Overcast]

Actually working out again. Joined this exercise class that has you wear heart rate monitors that show how well you’re doing on a TV screen. Did a lot better than I expected.

Only issue I seem to have (besides getting used to how to do certain exercises) was my pacing. Jumping too far from my base speed on a treadmill for example.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Today I kept thinking about how I saw on TV that Ghislaine Maxwell was found guilty, while in the same breath I saw another TV that kept seeing how people care so much about celebrity couples coming back like Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

It was at that moment where I had to ponder how long will America stop caring this much about celebrity culture.

 

[Some Badger]

Mom just broke the news that both the husband of my godmother (for lack of a better term, long time family friend who basically raised me) and his sister died while I was out of state on a job earlier this week. Whole house had covid and they were both brought to the hospital. My idiot self thought they were gonna be alright... I'm probably going to be back in my home state again next month for the funeral.

The man was the closest thing to a father figure to me and my brother had as kids. All I can bring myself to do now in this moment is down whiskey and avoid doomscrolling.

Edit: There is no funeral(yet), but there was an open casket that I attended with my family. It was hard enough to be in the same room, but staring at the coffin broke me.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

My soul is destroyed

 

[Iamtheknifechampion]

Not so well tbh, I work in slaughterhouse and cut up hogs all day, it really depressing.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

chronic pain is fucking cringe. can i sell both my kidneys they both fucking suck

 

[Your_Fairy_Wish_Prince]

Had some fucked teeth on myupper left side. Long story, kinda short, started having INTENSE headaches about 2010 turns out I had a molar rotting from the inside out. Took forever to find because on the surface it looked perfect. Was rotted so long lost some significant bone mass where it had been seated but not wanting to spend a fortune on an implant I got a bridge, awesome.

Fast forward 9 years one of the teeth that’s part of the bridge’s abscess nasty hard and again everything looked fine, took months to get an X-ray to find out the tooth is shot and two other teeth sympathy die beside it because of the trauma, fuckin cool.

Total cost to fix 20k, will need sinus lift, dead teeth pulled, dental implants and root canal.

Sinus lift went fine, but had immediate constant pain from the titanium implants. And I mean constant it NEVER stopped, it ached, burned, constant ear ache and congestion on that side, vision deterioration, brain fog and constant fatigue.

Two years of dealing with this horse shit only to be told I may be allergic to my TITANIUM implants, 20k down the drain (thanks) and this aftermath.

ETA: Instant relief btw, and in no way am I shitting on titanium dental implants you have a better chance of getting killed by a vending machine than this nonsense happening to you.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Thinking about him again.

Fucking creaton, biting people in hell to help punish the evil.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

ate some actual food for the first time today and i feel like i have an actual functioning brain again.
don't forget to eat, kiwis

 

[Meat Target]

Today, it felt like every man, woman, and child in town and their brother was hellbent on obstructing my path, cutting me off, and getting in my way.

It wasn't merely "shit's crowded". It felt like everyone was intentionally going "HURR DURR DURR I'M GONNA BE A FUCKING HUMAN TRAFFIC CONE WHEN I SEE MEAT TARGET AND STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE BECAUSE FUCK THAT GUY! AND THEN I'LL DRIVE LIKE A RECKLESS JACKASS FOR NO REASON!"

I had to put my groceries back and leave the store empty-handed, even struggling to get out (I'm not vengeful enough to fail the Shopping Cart Test), but the store can never be bothered to move traffic along or have more than two registers open at a time.

I heard some guy say "I might have a heart attack", and my immediate intrusive thought was "I hope you do". And then I saw some woman smirking, which pissed me off because I didn't know what she was smirking about.

And no, frens, countrymen, Kiwis, it's not me, it's them. Despite all my angry-ass rants, I go out of my way to be nice, polite, and courteous to everyone around me. I'm just really good at hiding my asshole thoughts. I make a Herculean effort to not be a prick.

Has my town's water been contaminated with lead?

(Uggghhhhhh....)

 

[Vingle]

Unable to sleep, it's too cold in my bedroom at parents place to sleep comfortably. Cold air fuck with my nose, and I'm a nose-breather. I'm tired of the damn thick synthetic mess of a comforter, I'm spoiled by the good comforter at home.
Earlier in the day I commented on this, and just got a defensive answer on that I need to stop being nice about it. This really piss me off with my mom. I don't need to anything, and I deserve the best.
Guess I just need to stop rewarding my mom for bad behaviour, by me not coming home to their place anymore.

Another thing that piss me off. They have a robot vacuum, but they still expect me to vacuum after them. Implying I'm the fucking robot. Nah, they can't use it. Because it make so much noise.

One other thing, my sister and boyfriend was supposed to leave after Xmas. Nah, they're fucking back again. It feels invading as fuck, since the only wall separating our rooms have NO sound proofing.