House Tour 3 - The full version

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Comandante Marcos dijo:
One reason might be that Chris likely has beetus really really bad (remember his jabbering about superpower lightning or something similar in his hands and feet that is obviously neuropathy) and sometimes beetus makes you really really hot and having a shitload of fans on is the only way to be relatively comfortable. Don't ask me how I know this. I don't think Charlottesville is really really hot in March, although it is possible that Barb never had a new AC put in after the fire to save money. Then again the smell of the place must be fucking horrific. There are boxes and boxes and more boxes and MORE fucking boxes of Barb's hoard that is likely still wet and moldy (and burnt) from the fire and that alone probably stinks. Then there's the kitchen. The place likely has a new sentient form of life living in it somewhere.
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Better explanation: Chris is fucking fat. Fat people sweat a lot lot more due to how much extra blubber they are carrying around and Chris has selfishly taken all the fans for his own comfort so he can play with toys in peace and his ramblings about feeling weird in his hands are him trying to justify his merge powers. I once worked with a fat guy who would constantly wipe his face with sweat whenever the temp got above 65 degrees which fits with previous accounts of Chris sweating like a mo-fo whenever he went outside.
 
White Trash with his Shite Trash!
Claims to be a literal Goddess yet films vertically....
Whole house is like a rancid black mold shrine to autism and the long term effects of inbreeding.
The Idea Guys 2.0 or whoever the fuck must have some serious shit on him to coerce CWC into getting off his fat gelatinous ass to make another house tour behind his mothers decrepit back plus the "will and testament" video, wonder what it could possibly be.

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At 8:26
Colossal stack of Barbs bills/final notices?
 
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Mariposa Electrique dijo:
Another great fire Hazzard. What a retard.
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I was pretty surprised to see The Laundry Room piled up with house fire shit in bags and completely blocking the back door. Also given the windows in Chris's play room, and the other downstairs rooms, if a fire broke out anywhere near the hallway, he would be physically trapped.

Strange Wilderness dijo:
Also what the hell is up with the 3 or 4 fans running in Chris's area of the house? Does 14 Branchland Court not have any air conditioning and Chris took all the fans for himself while his elderly mother suffers in the heat? Are the fans placed so his toy collection doesn't melt in the heat? Is the smell from the horde so great combined with Chris's lack of hygiene that unbearable that he needs multiple fans to make the place semi-habitable for human occupation?
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There's a small a/c unit in his room, and since he's on the bottom floor, it probably doesn't get that hot down there, but with all the electronics he has plugged in and going it probably heats up enough. They've had issues paying the electric bills with all the ones they used to have so there's probably no more than two, maybe three small cheap ones in that house.

Though all the videos from the new house always have tons of fans going. At least the house fire shit in bags stays in bags. It'll be black mold paradise in that place if he starts opening shit.

ETA: Oh god, this green.

cwcgreen.jpg
 
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Tennis-Ball-Tony dijo:
I was pretty surprised to see The Laundry Room piled up with house fire shit in bags and completely blocking the back door. Also given the windows in Chris's play room, and the other downstairs rooms, if a fire broke out anywhere near the hallway, he would be physically trapped.



There's a small a/c unit in his room, and since he's on the bottom floor, it probably doesn't get that hot down there, but with all the electronics he has plugged in and going it probably heats up enough. They've had issues paying the electric bills with all the ones they used to have so there's probably no more than two, maybe three small cheap ones in that house.

Though all the videos from the new house always have tons of fans going. At least the house fire shit in bags stays in bags. It'll be black mold paradise in that place if he starts opening shit.

ETA: Oh god, this green.

Ver archivo adjunto 1513900
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Chris never learns. Loves his horde too much to care for his and his mom's safety.
I shouldn't be surprised as to why there's so many fans running. Explains his e-begging.
 
Hogar Grupal dijo:
Chris never learns. Loves his horde too much to care for his and his mom's safety.
I shouldn't be surprised as to why there's so many fans running. Explains his e-begging.
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He's weirdly fearful of things, like germs and always carrying around hand sanitizer, or driving like a grandmother, but when almost burning to death happens, it's right back to blocking all the exits.
 
If you're going to prank Chris, don't delivery him pizza and instead hire cleaning services
 
Forgive the potential ignorance of this question @Kolp1607 but why is all this stuff coming out now and how did you get it.

Not trying to accuse you if anything I'm just curious, many times the backstorys behind these belated releases are pretty interesting
 
I’m extremely happy he didn’t pull back the shower curtains when he reached the bathroom. From what I saw it looks like he shits in the tub.
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Cedric_Eff dijo:
Where would Chris live when Barb dies and his house gets foreclosed on? Is he smart enough to move back into the apartments he lived as a kid?
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Not to sure, Chris is on a better playing field because of his tard immunity. I'm not much a of a lawyer, but my uncle had to give up his left testicle from the sheer amount of work it took him to evict a drug addict tenant that the state considered "disabled" (not disabled enough to successfully rip pipes from the house apparently). But his tugboat is his saving grace, as I'm pretty sure having guaranteed income insures at least one slumlord or section 8 housing will pick him. I don't see Chris owning his house for very long, you can kinda feel the city might foreclose on it as a health hazard.
 
WutangLee dijo:
Not to sure, Chris is on a better playing field because of his tard immunity. I'm not much a of a lawyer, but my uncle had to give up his left testicle from the sheer amount of work it took him to evict a drug addict tenant that the state considered "disabled" (not disabled enough to successfully rip pipes from the house apparently). But his tugboat is his saving grace, as I'm pretty sure having guaranteed income insures at least one slumlord or section 8 housing will pick him. I don't see Chris owning his house for very long, you can kinda feel the city might foreclose on it as a health hazard.
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He has his own dimension to live in. if the merge ever happens.
 
WutangLee dijo:
Not to sure, Chris is on a better playing field because of his tard immunity. I'm not much a of a lawyer, but my uncle had to give up his left testicle from the sheer amount of work it took him to evict a drug addict tenant that the state considered "disabled" (not disabled enough to successfully rip pipes from the house apparently). But his tugboat is his saving grace, as I'm pretty sure having guaranteed income insures at least one slumlord or section 8 housing will pick him. I don't see Chris owning his house for very long, you can kinda feel the city might foreclose on it as a health hazard.
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Mark my words, there is no way he is staying there, baring some miraculous circumstances.

I’ll do a throatswab with Chris’s flacid, crooked duck if I’m wrong.

Now granted, if Chris wasn’t a total tard, it wouldn’t be impossible. With decent credit he could get a reasonable loan for what’s owed in the house. He could rent out a room or two and get by.

But as things stand? No way. His tugboat couldn’t carry a mortgage and food expenses and bills.

So that leaves these options:

*Section 8 housing*
Dubious at best. While a local slumlord would probably love to evict some bigots, and lay his hands on Chris’s tugboat. But this requires some preparation on Chris’s part, as waiting lists are often years long.

*Institution/Some kind of tard housing*
Also an unlikely outcome, since this would require somebody in the local authorities to actually give a fuck. It would also require Chris to give up the idea of being “mainstreamed”/high functional, which has been the foundation of his personality since early childhood.

*”There goes the neighborhood!”/Chris moves house.*
With average rents in the Charlottesville area being around 1400$, Chris’s tugboat would be stretched to the limit. Rents are lower in Ruckersville though. (around 1000$ for a house, 600$ for a small studio apartment.) Chris could afford a small apartment, but his finances would be stretched to the limits, given the high standard of living he has gotten used to. A bigger problem would be the horde though, which would either have to be in storage (more $$) or thrown out. That leaves the last option.

*The homeless saga.*
Chris is cheap as fuck when it comes to anything that aren’t toys, so he would likely be tempted by inexpensive offers of local kindness. (Spend money on an apartment? Or sleep on a couch and have more $$ for vidya? That’s a tough one for Chris.)

Chris’s homeless saga will likely be similar to what happens to many other bums. He will over a period of time go from couch to couch, slowly burning away any goodwill and charity he might inspire, with his atrocious habits, general creepy/weirdness, laziness and entitlement. After a while, his only options will be local shelters, 24 hour McDs/Starbucks, his vehicle and sleeping under bridges. Chris will constantly beg online, since his finances will be destroyed between the general expenses of homelessness and paying for hoard storage.



Right now I’d say it’s a tossup between the two last options. Chris has a tugboat, and presumably still some local people who could help him find a small, shitty 1 bedroom.

However, Chris is lazy and hates making hard choices. His escapism and natural tendency of coasting along with as little friction as possible, means that Chris sliding into a homeless scenario is very likely.
 
The Homeless Saga sounds like Chloe Sagal, who bounced from attic to attic in Portland until they ran out of people to tolerate them, and they finally wound up living in a crappy old van bought on the other side of the OR/WA line from Portland that couldn't be registered in OR because it was so old and shitty. I really doubt that Chris would go out in a literal blaze of glory like Chloe did, he doesn't have the right personality and intelligence to become an hero that gets him on the front page of the local paper. He'll likely just die while sleeping under a hedge and be buried in an unmarked grave in a "potters field" or county pauper's cemetery.
 
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