Home medical care antics - Playing doctor at home, alone. Or I should be at the doctor but am too cool.

[Bassomatic]

Well I am sick as a dog, I'm pretty sure some food didn't like me, but I'll spare the details long story short bassomatic is dehydrated, badly.

I have some back round in some emergency care and lots of gadgets. So I'm sitting here, hoping death comes quickly with a nice little IV in my arm.

Had I went to ER I'd be sitting around bored, and paying a lot more so I figured let's just do this here. I've stitched myself back together once.

I don't intend to be making a humble brag thread but I thought some other's may have some funny/absurd home care or times they dealt with a medical issue on their own.

Edit:
for content and amusement, the stitching story. As a young lad girl I was showering with thought I'd look better with a shaved chest, and offered to do it for me. Needless to say, it did not go over well.

She sliced my nipple almost fully off. I reapplied my left nipple and it's still got a mild scar but lost all feeling in it.

I was too embarrassed to go to the hospital for that.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

I drained a massive boil on my exs back. There was soooooo much puss and blood. It was fucking awesome (apart from the stink and him being a little cry baby)

 

[fire_fly]

Oh man, I do this all the time. It usually turns out alright, since it's minor stuff like removing ingrown toenails, but I've also been known to remove milia and cystic acne from my own face, which you should never do unless either you know what you're doing (which I do) or you're cool with having a prominent scar forever.

The worst story I have is, I had a lip piercing that rejected really badly, to the point where bits of cartilage were being dragged out of my lip by the jewelry. So I took the ring out, sterilized a small kitchen knife, and cut off the bits that were hanging out of my lip. It's 100% normal now, but I thought I was going to be badly scarred, albeit on the inside of my mouth... It was the worst self-inflicted pain I've ever felt.

 

[Carlos Thin]

Once during an asthmatic attack I thought I'd combine large doses of ventinol with steroids to just Fuck the pain away. Quickly learned that neither were painkillers and my heart started beating like a fucked clock and I passed out. My girlfriend, who studied such substances, told me I was a fucking idiot.

 

[polonium]

Done a few ingrown toenail removals and I did quite neat home-made butterfly stitches when I gashed my hand really badly on a can. You can hardly see the scar.

 

[Strelok]

Does using old narcotics on new pain instead of bothering to get a new perscription count? Because that's as far as I've gone. Fuck if I'm paying for a new bottle of codine for a twisted ankle when this other bottle is teeeechnically still good from the last injury.

 

[on a serious note]

Back when I had GI issues I just smoked a Lot of marijuana

 

[VJ 120]

I can't find the pill cutter I own so I've been attempting to cut my meds in half with household knives for the past few days. So far every time it's ended with half of a paxil flying across the fucking house onto the floor. Oh well, it'll turn up sooner or later.

That's about the extent of my home medical care antics tbh aside from caring for migraines with benadryl and gatorade because I'm too poor to afford to see a neurologist. Works pretty well though, fwiw.

 

[on a serious note]

I can't find the pill cutter I own so I've been attempting to cut my meds in half with household knives for the past few days. So far every time it's ended with half of a paxil flying across the fucking house onto the floor. Oh well, it'll turn up sooner or later.

That's about the extent of my home medical care antics tbh aside from caring for migraines with benadryl and gatorade because I'm too poor to afford to see a neurologist. Works pretty well though, fwiw.

Oh yeah Benadryl is great for migraines and even sometimes cluster headaches. There's a pharmacological reason that I used to know but forgot

 

[Wallace]

Oh yeah Benadryl is great for migraines and even sometimes cluster headaches. There's a pharmacological reason that I used to know but forgot

Most of the medicines we use for migraine were never intended to be used for attacks in the first place. We use them off-label because their sort of happy side effects are helpful to migraine patients. I don't think we know the pharmacological reason for a lot of them.

I wasn’t able to find any studies linking Benadryl to migraine relief, but next time, try ibuprofen (Advil/Motrin) and caffeine.

 

[on a serious note]

Most of the medicines we use for migraine were never intended to be used for attacks in the first place. We use them off-label because their sort of happy side effects are helpful to migraine patients. I don't think we know the pharmacological reason for a lot of them.

I wasn’t able to find any studies linking Benadryl to migraine relief, but next time, try ibuprofen (Advil/Motrin) and caffeine.

I may have been thinking of cluster headaches

 

[GingerDixie]

The worst story I have is, I had a lip piercing that rejected really badly, to the point where bits of cartilage were being dragged out of my lip by the jewelry. So I took the ring out, sterilized a small kitchen knife, and cut off the bits that were hanging out of my lip. It's 100% normal now, but I thought I was going to be badly scarred, albeit on the inside of my mouth... It was the worst self-inflicted pain I've ever felt.

Aaaaaaaaand that's why I will never pierce my face. I have nine piercings, and none of them are in my face, mainly due to the fact I'm afraid of them rejecting and scarring but also because I think they're ugly (no offense).

I've lanced infections in my cuticles before, but then I hit it with literally every topical antibiotic I have afterward. Also, I've stuck myself with lancets and practiced phlebotomy on family members at home (my mother is a nurse and she happened to have some unused IV butterfly needles laying around). I also offered to drain the hematoma that formed in my Boxer's ear last time I was home, but my parents turned that down because they wanted to see if it would heal on its own (it did).

Long as you know what you're doing and make sure you clean the shit you use as well as you can without an autoclave, I don't see the problem.

 

[derpi]

I've cut off some skin tags before. Ice them beforehand, sterilize a nail clipper, and then snip 'em off. Relatively painless and usually no bleeding .-.

 

[fire_fly]

Well, this afternoon I've been trying to remove a blockage from one of my ears. I'm currently taking a break because the peroxide was starting to burn my ear (and also I was hungry), but it's getting somewhere, at least. I can barely hear though.

EDIT: I think I got the worst of it out. My ear kinda hurts from the peroxide but at least I can hear again and all that buildup is gone.