Hikikomori

[Russtard]

Disclosure, also speaking as a dumb American, but from what I’ve seen there’s a also a huge disconnect between Japanese parents and their kids. Couple that with the fact that a lot of Japanese small towns/companies are very close knit, and you don’t want to be “the parent that tossed their kid out.” I think a lot of the reason why the parents don’t just kick them out is because doing so would be admitting that they failed as a parent.

In Japan and Korea, it’s pretty normal to live with your parents long after graduating high school. Almost everyone stays at home while attending uni and many even stay after they have a professional job if it’s at all logistically possible. You usually only move out when you marry. The concept of “love hotels” comes from this—you live with your parents as a young adult but you gotta get your fuck on so you rent a room for an hour or two with your SO. For parents, I’d imagine that letting the kid stay at home in their room is much easier than kicking them out because saying “my son is 26 and lives at home” isn’t nearly as weird there as it is in the US.

 

[Masta]

Disclosure, also speaking as a dumb American, but from what I’ve seen there’s a also a huge disconnect between Japanese parents and their kids. Couple that with the fact that a lot of Japanese small towns/companies are very close knit, and you don’t want to be “the parent that tossed their kid out.” I think a lot of the reason why the parents don’t just kick them out is because doing so would be admitting that they failed as a parent.

In Japan and Korea, it’s pretty normal to live with your parents long after graduating high school. Almost everyone stays at home while attending uni and many even stay after they have a professional job if it’s at all logistically possible. You usually only move out when you marry. The concept of “love hotels” comes from this—you live with your parents as a young adult but you gotta get your fuck on so you rent a room for an hour or two with your SO. For parents, I’d imagine that letting the kid stay at home in their room is much easier than kicking them out because saying “my son is 26 and lives at home” isn’t nearly as weird there as it is in the US.

Very true, maybe I’m missing the fact that I’m a US citizen so I can’t empathize with young adults at home for an extended stay. Here, kicking your child out so they will live on their own means you have become a successful parent.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Pardon me if somebody has already brought this up, but the reason why parents tolerate hikikomori is because in Japan, there is a stigma about kicking children out. They're considered your problem no matter what, and it's sort of an admission to the world that you failed if you run them out of the house. So the parents are just stuck keeping them. It's basically the opposite of how Americans think, where you're a bad parent if you DON'T kick out a freeloader.

If any of you want to do any real reading on this, check out David Pilling's "Bending Adversity." It has a chapter which talks about Japanese youth issues, including hikikomori. Gives both positive and negative perspectives on it. A lot of it has to do with the jobs market.

There isn't a single word replacement for nerd I can think of, Incel has too many meanings (Socially awkward, but that's not enough to be a nerd!) Incel is just a new and strangely self depreciating term for men who have always existed throughout history, we just used to call it the underclass, or loners, or ASPD's or nerds. So is Incel a spiritual successor of sorts? Yes, but not like a direct lineage imo.
Also I'd say nerds are a constructive force whereas incels are destructive.
Their is a natural crossover but Incels are really and always will be a separate entity to nerds.

What even is a nerd anymore?

Nerd seemed to use to mean a specific sort of intellectual, well-mannered, guy, but lacking in charm or physicality. Nowadays it seems to be a weird mixture of that and people who just like things that aren't considered "popular" (like your comic book fags).

There's as much difference between the guy who loves reading about physics all day and the guy who plays video games all day as there is between them and the dumb quarterback who fails all his classes. This is why I hate nerd culture, too. It's gotten so far away from productive things and so obsessed with fantasy.

 

[BScCollateral]

I do think "nerd" involves actual effort. Back in the pre-video and pre-Internet day, it was almost impressive to be an expert on Star Trek. Nowadays all that takes is time, a credit card, and Google.

And getting nerdy about real subjects was always more respectable. Being an expert on the Soviet space program is almost exactly as useful as memorizing every episode of Classic Star Trek (unless you're actually in aerospace), but people have a bit more impressed with a guy who can talk about the failure of Soyuz 10 to dock with Salyut 1.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

I do think "nerd" involves actual effort. Back in the pre-video and pre-Internet day, it was almost impressive to be an expert on Star Trek. Nowadays all that takes is time, a credit card, and Google.

And getting nerdy about real subjects was always more respectable. Being an expert on the Soviet space program is almost exactly as useful as memorizing every episode of Classic Star Trek (unless you're actually in aerospace), but people have a bit more impressed with a guy who can talk about the failure of Soyuz 10 to dock with Salyut 1.

Star Trek is kind of an interesting "nerd" subject in that behind all the future-tech gobbledygook it floated interesting questions about people and society. (It also seemed to predict a number of technologies, including modern cellphones/smartphones/PDAs/tablets)