💼 Careercow Hayden Black - Untalented comedian with a string of failures including the infamous Gen Zed; suspended from Twitter

[Orthodox Chrischanity]

Spoiler: Obligatory stand-up comparison...

 

[BILLY MAYS]

http://thevelvetonion.com/category/4-the-second-wave/hayden-black/

Hayden's old gig?

 

[女鬼]

@hood LOLCOW made a discovery! (kudos)

Hayden used to do standup.

Correction: Hayden did standup once.

This particular event was "his first foray into standup", and he hasn't mentioned doing standup ever again after that.

I can only imagine what a resounding success it must have been.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

http://thevelvetonion.com/2014/10/24/haydens-seismic-stand-up/
"Historic event!"
"Multi-talented!"

 

[AnOminous]

(And very probably the promise of getting laid that so often influences male allies in SJW settings.)

I don't know. There seems to be a real thread of hunger for trangina going on here with young Hayden.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

The person so dedicated to their autocorrect joke mocks a mistype because it's all he's got.

 

[VLAD]

The person so dedicated to their autocorrect joke mocks a mistype because it's all he's got.

[MEDIA=twitter]681558987624415233[/MEDIA]

Woof woof: the new pew pew?

 

[sassyma seed]

Woof woof: the new pew pew?

This new "woof woof" reminds me a little quote from Seanbaby:

"If [he] wrote "Who's on First," Abbott's first and closing lines would have been "POOCH on first!? Bow wow WOW!"

 

[Mungo]

Woof woof: the new pew pew?

Shitty as this is, at least he's coming up with his own jokes.

 

[女鬼]

Hayden's "first-ever" attempt at stand-up was in fact his second one.
In the previous year, he had made a first endeavour, which consisted of reading his tweets aloud in front of an audience.

As for the 2014 "seismic" event, Hayden was pretty optimistic about it...

...and it went about as well as you'd expect.

ayy lmao

And thus ends Hayden's career as a stand-up comic. But who knows, someday he might make another "first attempt".

 

[JU 199]

He read his tweets to a live audience.

Hayden, why would shitty one-lines jokes about hipsters, republicans and pedophiles be more entertaining in person?

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Did he say "pew pew" for each and every tweet?

 

[JU 199]

That has to be a joke. Stand up routines need to flow in order to be entertaining, even I know that. I can't believe he would simply stand there and read random tweets

 

[HickoryDickory]

Maybe due to Hayden's mere existence being a joke? I dunno, you guys... That sounds beyond sad and pathetic, and Cheech was probably humouring him if he even had any contact with Hayden.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

He's really addicted to the "tweeting jokes" concept, isn't he? He's got two twitters dedicated to it, he used it as his stand up gimmick, he uses it in Gen Zed....

 

[CWCissey]

My landlord is actually an amateur comedian. His advice is to write 10 minutes worth of material for a 5 minute set.

Hayden can barely write 10 seconds, which I suppose is generous considering the audience would be throwing tomatoes at him after the first 'joke', and they'd probably leave them in the cans too!

 

[VLAD]

Hayden seems like the kind of guy who'd tell a "fucking autocorrect" joke out loud.

 

[AG 856]

That has to be a joke. Stand up routines a need to flow in order to be entertaining, even I know that. I can't believe he would simply stand there and read random tweets

Based on the feedback he has gotten from his tweets I'm surprised he went with that. We aren't the only people mocking his tweets by the way, here are some quotes I have found regarding Hayden's twitter feed:

"Reading through your page is a fucking deathmarch, Hayden. I keep looking for a punch line and all I find are guns from the people who shot themselves reading your shitty jokes" - Mister Metokur

"This Hayden fella is an unfunny douchebag" -Voice of Tech

"(response to one of the Jared Fogle jokes) Now dat's sum Edgy shit right there, bro. - Encyclopedia Dramatica

"Could you give us a point by point breakdown about why you think this is a good joke? Why use terrorism as a comedic segue?"-response to a very edgy joke about the Paris attacks

So with all of that in mind, and the average positive response being: "OMG i no rite? (crying face emoji)" You would think he wouldn't use his Twitter jokes as stand up material.

 

[AnOminous]

Hayden's "first-ever" attempt at stand-up was in fact his second one.
In the previous year, he had made a first endeavour, which consisted of reading his tweets aloud in front of an audience.

This is A-Log tier.

I don't think there's a single living person who actually watched this whole thing, but it's still probably funnier than whatever Hayden did.

 

[Silver]

I don't think there's a single living person who actually watched this whole thing, but it's still probably funnier than whatever Hayden did.

@Strelok played it for some people on chat over cytube once. I believe the struggle to get through it was very, very painful.