💼 Careercow Hayden Black - Untalented comedian with a string of failures including the infamous Gen Zed; suspended from Twitter

[Ti-99/4A]

Even teenaged autistic Tumblrines know you should set up a Gofundme/Indigogo/Patreon for your shitty aborted projects.

That's still taxable income and the average Dublrina isn't already up shit creek twice with unpaid taxes.

 

[Alberto Balsalm]

I think we've sort of indirectly come to the conclusion that Hayden hasn't been doing this for Tumblr so much as to impress trannies enough to sleep with him.

 

[女鬼]

I think we've sort of indirectly come to the conclusion that Hayden hasn't been doing this for Tumblr so much as to impress trannies enough to sleep with him.

His trans fetish definitely comes into play, but I think Hayden was genuinely intending for this to be an actual show and not just a scam.
We've all seen just how delusional the man is when it comes to his own talent.

I'm sure he was convinced this was a genius artistic project that would finally make him the famous comedy star he always thought he should be.
Just like he thought Goodnight Burbank, the Cabonauts and whateverthefuck else were going to be the next big hit.

It's been said before, the man is a textbook example of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

 

[Jungle Princess]

Trannies are stupid and I don't respect them.

Why?

If this ever does come out, I hope someone like Mr. Enter or Pan Pizza will review it.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

...what?

 

[Hat]

...what?

[MEDIA=twitter]666807782193020928[/MEDIA]

Dr. Carson apparently had anger issues as a boy and attacked once attacked his mother with a hammer—49 years ago.

 

[女鬼]

Going through Hayden's personal Facebook reveals he has some... outstanding interests.

Now, let's have a look at the pages for Hayden's own projects:

And a new profile picture:

Just.. why.

 

[Sonic Speed Monkey]

Going through Hayden's personal Facebook reveals he has some... outstanding interests.

Ver archivo adjunto 59029

Now, let's have a look at the pages for Hayden's own projects:
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And a new profile picture:
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Just.. why.

God, he looks so much like a serial killer who skins his victims and wears their skin. In his case it'd be transgender victims.

 

[Hanamura]

God, he looks so much like a serial killer who skins his victims and wears their skin. In his case it'd be transgender victims.

Shit, it's an even more disturbing version of Silence of the Lambs.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Dr. Carson apparently had anger issues as a boy and attacked once attacked his mother with a hammer—49 years ago.

Wow....I know Black has said some really fucked up things in an attempt at "edgy humor", but fuck, man. Learn to shut up once and a while.

 

[Kitler]

Now, let's have a look at the pages for Hayden's own projects:
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This is the kind of facebook a 13 year old girl would have jfc Hayden

Also that profile picture

Spoiler: It's in the eyes

 

[wet_butt]

Every photo of that man looks like his face has started sliding off his head, like someone's left a wax mannequin in the sun too long.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I don't know how many Kiwis here have young kids (other than @The Dude & @Satan , if memory serves), but if you've been around them long enough, chances are you've probably heard them attempt to tell a joke. They'll either parrot simple ones they've heard ("orange you glad I didn't say banana?") or try to make one of their own. The pattern I've noticed is that young children---generally between 4-6---will usually just default to the formula "why did x? Because y!" Of course, as they're too young to understand the concept of humor, you get nonsensical stuff like, "why did the Mommy cross the road? Because her arms were made of spaghetti!" Using little kid logic, the joke is a joke because it follows the formula, therefore it's funny because it's a joke & jokes are funny.

That is what I think of whenever I read one of Hayden Black's tweets.

 

[AnOminous]

Of course, as they're too young to understand the concept of humor, you get nonsensical stuff like, "why did the Mommy cross the road? Because her arms were made of spaghetti!" Using little kid logic, the joke is a joke because it follows the formula, therefore it's funny because it's a joke & jokes are funny.

That is what I think of whenever I read one of Hayden Black's tweets.

Those kids' jokes are often funny, though, and even when they aren't, are often endearing.

Hayden's anti-humor is actually depressing.

 

[yasscat]

Looking at Hayden's pictures that have been posted ITT, I noticed something: the right side of his face droops slightly in comparison to the left side. And I don't mean in a "oh, natural asymmetry" way. I mean the kind that happens when someone's had a stroke at some point.

I'm...pretty sure Hayden's had at least one stroke. It would explain a lot of his weirdness, because one's behavior, and even verbal mannerisms, can change after having a stroke--and the effects can last for years. (Not excusing his shitty behavior, but just something I realized.)

Granted, he's always been a shit "comedian" and writer, but. Just an idea.

 

[VLAD]

I don't know how many Kiwis here have young kids (other than @The Dude & @Satan , if memory serves), but if you've been around them long enough, chances are you've probably heard them attempt to tell a joke. They'll either parrot simple ones they've heard ("orange you glad I didn't say banana?") or try to make one of their own. The pattern I've noticed is that young children---generally between 4-6---will usually just default to the formula "why did x? Because y!" Of course, as they're too young to understand the concept of humor, you get nonsensical stuff like, "why did the Mommy cross the road? Because her arms were made of spaghetti!" Using little kid logic, the joke is a joke because it follows the formula, therefore it's funny because it's a joke & jokes are funny.

That is what I think of whenever I read one of Hayden Black's tweets.

Not sure if that's an entirely accurate comparison. Bad little kid jokes can be fucking hilarious.

 

[moorhen]

And a new profile picture:
Ver archivo adjunto 59031
Just.. why.

God, his face to forehead ratio is so off you could fit a copy of his face onto that expanse.

 

[The Dude]

I don't know how many Kiwis here have young kids (other than @The Dude & @Satan , if memory serves), but if you've been around them long enough, chances are you've probably heard them attempt to tell a joke. They'll either parrot simple ones they've heard ("orange you glad I didn't say banana?") or try to make one of their own. The pattern I've noticed is that young children---generally between 4-6---will usually just default to the formula "why did x? Because y!" Of course, as they're too young to understand the concept of humor, you get nonsensical stuff like, "why did the Mommy cross the road? Because her arms were made of spaghetti!" Using little kid logic, the joke is a joke because it follows the formula, therefore it's funny because it's a joke & jokes are funny.

That is what I think of whenever I read one of Hayden Black's tweets.

You're actually right on the mark here. Very apt. Little Dude has been trying to tell nonsensical jokes since he was little. He's getting better and he can remember actual jokes now, but he'll still revert to nonsense when he's trying too hard. Also fart and poop jokes. Good Lord, the fart and poop jokes.

 

[AG 856]

Those kids' jokes are often funny, though, and even when they aren't, are often endearing.

Hayden's anti-humor is actually depressing.

The reason Hayden has no sense of humor is because he is more concerned with looking hip and cool for all the kiddies than he is concerned with actually being funny. His jokes all revolve around shitty references about Tumblr or celebrities. He doesn't even make a joke he just acknowledges their existence. It takes talent to be as unfunny as Hayden.

 

[Kitlen]

Hoo hoo hoo, found an article written by our ole Hayden back in 2010. Will provide the link of course but here are some of my favorite and more choice quotes.

"Firstly, remember that at the moment, the vast majority of content created for the Internet makes zero money, so everything you do should come from a place of passion."

Like your love of money and TRUE and HONEST admiration of transgender folk, right Hayden?

"1. Take the Time to Write

So here’s where you'll need to roll up your sleeves. You have to actually sit down and come up with compelling characters and interesting situations. There’s no hurry to get it right either, so take your time."

Like you put so much effort into the Gen Zed cast, right Hayden?

"2. Know the Medium
It's also important to note that most people watch web videos alone. The sharing is often done not with people present, but through social media and e-mail. So think about how habits change between lone and group audiences.

Take comedies, for example. Viewers tend to have more 'laugh out loud' moments when they watch with other people. Sometimes that laughter is contagious — other times, a viewer will want his company to know he's smart enough to get the joke."

I definitely want my boss knowing I have trash taste enough to enjoy Gen Zed.

"3. Pay Attention to Production Values
Find a good middle ground. Once you’ve got good acting talent and a great script, decent production values are what will set you apart from the thousands of other videos your audience could be watching instead.

Gee, like all that money you put into hiring animators and editors? Wait a minute...

4. Focus on Grassroots Marketing
Some people think that the best, cheapest, and easiest way to market a web show is to start a Twitter or Facebook account, follow everyone they can, and start "shouting" about the content.

So why is nothing happening? Because you’re yelling into a chasm that’s filled with the echoes from a million other people. No one’s listening for the same reasons they never look at the flyers that come in the mail or the marketing pitches that come to their inboxes.

If you're producing a comedy series, don't use the related Twitter account to only broadcast when new episodes are up. Between videos, use it as an outlet for news jokes or a free source of silly gags.

And if you are trying to share your content with specific people, take care to avoid hitting them with the same message from multiple angles. The more e-mails, Facebook messages, and Twitter DMs one gets about the same thing, the less likely she'll be to naturally discover and enjoy it.

At least he follows his own advice.

In Conclusion



Link: http://mashable.com/2010/06/04/producing-quality-web-videos/#kTrXHtrWjaq8