Have Children

[mindlessobserver]

Gonna throw this one out there, because its something I have been having deep thunks about for a few years now.

You really don't appreciate the concept of time and the future until you have children. Once they are in the picture its like a switch flips in your brain. You aren't just doing things for yourself anymore. You are doing things for posterity. Small things at first. Like going to the trouble of getting a Christmas tree and going through the rituals of pretending to be Santa Clause. But even more iterative over time you don't just work for yourself and immediate pleasures anymore. You work for people who are dependent on you and ultimately you hope will outlive you. It suddenly makes what you do more tolerable.

It gives you a contract with the future. Sure, you could live a life of sloth and indolent hedonistic pleasure and die in a ditch. But if you have children you cannot do that. Because you need to leave the world at least for them a little better then when you found it, and give them the tools to go on once you are gone. This is a mindset I think can only happen to humans when children are in the picture.

Which also paints an ominous picture of the future given that modern society has actively selected against working people also having children, and in the last 10 years has actively held out reproductive workers for deliberate exclusion. I feel the consequences of this are going to manifest in the coming years. The people in economic and political power are going to be nihilists with no contract to the future, just getting what they can before they die, while a seething underclass will become increasingly violent because they view what the current ruling paradigm is doing is a threat to the generations that will follow them when they die.

Which is all straying off my initial musing that you don't truly understand the horizon of the future until you have children.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Sometimes you don't have children because you know you would be a poor parent. Sometimes you have too many bad genes to pass down and watch your kid suffer. These are also thinking of the future. A nice compromise would be to get involved in helping young people via charity or your family/friends and babysitting. Everyone needs some extra help sometimes.

 

[Long Dong Silver 2025]

I want children, and I have been taking measures to make myself more desirable (losing weight, deepening my faith in God, having a good steady job, etc). The only real downside for me is that I wanted children when I was younger (early 20's - mid 20's) so I could grow with them. Other than that, yeah I am making strides to so I can one day have children. Sucks that I didn't realize that until my mid thirties, but hopefully there is a woman who is a woman of the church and is ok with me being an old man by the time my kids are in highschool

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

You really don't appreciate the concept of time and the future until you have children. Once they are in the picture its like a switch flips in your brain. You aren't just doing things for yourself anymore. You are doing things for posterity. Small things at first. Like going to the trouble of getting a Christmas tree and going through the rituals of pretending to be Santa Clause.

Man this is so true. In your early 20s having kids is nightmare fuel and the worst thing you can think of, by the time you put up that first Christmas tree you wish you didn’t waste so many of your earlier years being a dickhead so you could have more Christmas tree moments.

 

[Artaius]

TMI but I suppose it's relevant so here's my two cents about it.

I would like to be a father one day. My girlfriend would like to be a mother. It's something we've had long discussions about for the last three years or so. The big, scary questions that often we repeat to each other is "Can we do it?" Can we actually do it? I don't want to raise a son or daughter in the place we're currently living now. I don't want them going through the same things I went through as a child.

I would like to be the best provider I could possibly be. But we're living check-to-check. We're spending over $100 on groceries. There's rent, utility, pretty much everything everyone else has to keep up with to live. I don't like or trust the people around this area very much. I don't like the city even though it's a decent neighborhood I still wouldn't want to raise a family here. It's too noisy and crowded is the best way I can put it.

I know my children would deserve better. I would want them to have the best of everything. My girlfriend has her own thoughts on it. Less about the finances and more about the other problems that might happen. So we get cold feet whenever there's nights where maybe we're gonna commit and do it, but something spooks one of us and the rubber stays on.

We both want it but it's a big task that maybe one day we'll get over, Kiwibros.

 

[Slap47]

Sure, you could live a life of sloth and indolent hedonistic pleasure and die in a ditch. But if you have children you cannot do that. Because you need to leave the world at least for them a little better then when you found it

The Boomers had kids and they are literally doing this so I do not see how this argument is convincing.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

Lower my taxes, faggot.

 

[Ayana Otonashi]

the phantom of Shinzo Abe lingers on

 

[Brubby Two]

the phantom of Shinzo Abe lingers on

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

You really don't appreciate the concept of time and the future until you have children

Yeah it makes you look back on the time you had free time and hobbies.

Joking aside, it's like telling people to explore space. Like yeah most of us would if it wasn't so hard finding normal women to date.

 

[The man The only man]

We are going to host shotgun marriages for Kiwifarms.

 

[sodaboard]

i was trying really really hard to have kids until someone explained that it requires two people
that complicates things a bit

 

[yolotengo]

As someone who never wanted or planned to have a child (i'm a woman so you'd think wanting kids would just be the norm) i ended up having a child and i kind of laugh at people who make it seem like its a really hard thing. I have a certain disdain for (mainly) other mothers who equate having a child with "being in the trenches."

Your level of income shouldnt matter because, shockingly, having a child makes you want to provide more for that child. Whether you have a low income or high income your values should be the same. Being a good parent is about molding this being who is new to the world into a good person. Teaching them right from wrong, work ethic, ambition, duty to their family and community, teaching them important skills, resilience, self reliance.

What people dont realise is having kids is fun! You get to relive and enjoy the best parts of childhood all over again from a new perspective.

Stop overthinking it and just dont be a deadbeat.

 

[The Wise Shaman]

Gunther Fehlinger approved thread.

 

[umseriously]

I'm afraid the brutal truth here is that most people on the Internet, and here btw, are incapable of finding a partner to have kids with. It wouldn't even matter if the economy was great; they would still be unable to have kids.

 

[yolotengo]

I'm afraid the brutal truth here is that most people on the Internet, and here btw, are incapable of finding a partner to have kids with. It wouldn't even matter if the economy was great; they would still be unable to have kids.

There's having kids and there's having kids with a partner you want to get along with/stay with.

I think one of the most important factors when having kids with someone (whether you are together or end up splitting - lets face it, shit happens) is shared values and being able to see the big picture.

While being in a committed relationship and staying together for 50+ years is a grand old lovely idea its not reality for most people. So having kids with someone who has the same values as you - parentingwise - is a good place to start from whether you end up staying together or you dont. You need to be able to respect your child's other parent because sometimes life doesnt go the way you wish.

 

[Slap47]

I'm afraid the brutal truth here is that most people on the Internet, and here btw, are incapable of finding a partner to have kids with. It wouldn't even matter if the economy was great; they would still be unable to have kids.

Capitalism destroys birth rates through its destruction of social places and commercialization of relationships.

 

[Staticness]

I'm afraid the brutal truth here is that most people on the Internet, and here btw, are incapable of finding a partner to have kids with. It wouldn't even matter if the economy was great; they would still be unable to have kids.

whitebois on the internet should not reproduce anyway.

 

[yolotengo]

Capitalism destroys birth rates through its destruction of social places and commercialization of relationships.

Relationships and children have always existed under capitalism. People had more children under capitalism than in 1 child policy communist nations where poverty is the norm and the general standard of living is lower.

I think adults just want to be perpetual children and be taken care of (either by the state or their own parents) instead of actually stepping up to the plate and being adults. It scares them.

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

You really don't appreciate the concept of time and the future until you have children. Once they are in the picture its like a switch flips in your brain. You aren't just doing things for yourself anymore.

To add to this, people are making the mistake thinking they need to wait until they're ready to have children, since you will never feel like you're truly ready. What tends to actually happen is, you have kids and then this switch is flipped automatically and your instincts kick in and you start to make better decisions in regards to the future, which makes you a better person.

So find a good woman and have kids. You'll be ready for them after they're born, not before.