Harold and the Purple Crayon - Coming August, Sony pictures next big flop

[CHARizard]

https://www.sonypictures.com/movies/haroldandthepurplecrayon

https://archive.ph/kxYfA

Inside of his book, adventurous Harold (Zachary Levi) can make anything come to life simply by drawing it. After he grows up and draws himself off the book’s pages and into the physical world, Harold finds he has a lot to learn about real life—and that his trusty purple crayon may set off more hilarious hijinks than he thought possible. When the power of unlimited imagination falls into the wrong hands, it will take all of Harold and his friends’ creativity to save both the real world and his own. Harold and the Purple Crayon is the first film adaptation of the beloved children’s classic that has captivated young readers for decades.​

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Directed by Carlos Saldanha and produced by John Davis, the live-action hybrid family adventure/comedy stars Zachary Levi, Lil Rel Howery, Benjamin Bottani, Jemaine Clement, Tanya Reynolds with Alfred Molina and Zooey Deschanel. The film’s screenplay is written by David Guion & Michael Handelman, based on the book by Crockett Johnson.​

I hate this. I loved this book as a kid, and I have a copy I bought for my son. I had no idea this was a thing until today.

 

[Tablet County]

mmm porble grayon

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

I can't believe this is real, this looks like one of those old parody trailers of "imagine if this children's book was adapted into a gritty blockbuster action movie". Who is this film even for? I would think if it's for kids it would star a kid instead of an adult Harold and be animated.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

I can't believe this is real, this looks like one of those old parody trailers of "imagine if this children's book was adapted into a gritty blockbuster action movie". Who is this film even for? I would think if it's for kids it would star a kid instead of an adult Harold and be animated.

"Wow, I remember this" nostalgia bait

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_and_the_Purple_Crayon

But this franchise has several books, multiple short films, a TV series, and a Broadway musical.

 

[sasazuka]

Is the movie version supposed to be Harold after he grows up considering the Harold I remember from the book seemed to be about three to five years old? EDIT: Four years old according to Wikipedia.

 

[Colon capital V]

But can it make purple drank?

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

But can it make purple drank?

It can ONLY make purple drank.

 

[Dysnomia]

Wouldn't this be better off as a cartoon? I've never heard of the book. Looks vaguely like Chalk Zone.

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

At first I thought the black guy was a buck in the cartoon world, but he was actually a moose. We were so close to greatness

 

[Your Starter for 10]

Trying to cash in with a Barbie-esque clone it looks like. But the clone is a steaming pile of shit.

I guess it might do ok since it's a kids movie and they depend much more on timing than on quality.

 

[Fag Albert]

Did they learn nothing from the Fat Albert movie

 

[The Last Stand]

What fresh hell is this?

 

[Brenda Holiday]

I loooved Harold and the Purple Crayon and I'm really going to love seeing this garbage bomb

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Purple might not be the gayest color, but it is definitely the tranniest one.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Did they learn nothing from the Fat Albert movie

Clearly not because they never made a Fat Albert 2 and made this instead.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

What fresh hell is this?

Hollywood accounting and/or money laundering.

 

[Tablet County]

Did they learn nothing from the Fat Albert movie

I get the impression that Fat Albert will be a masterpiece compared to this thing.

 

[Shart Attack]

Can't believe Sony greenlit this shit in lieu of my pitch for a multiverse story based on "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," starring a extremely diverse cast of all autistic gay black people.

 

[Fag Albert]

I get the impression that Fat Albert will be a masterpiece compared to this thing.

well ya this movie wont have Bill Cosby Magic as a major plot point

 

[Spirelord: Downfall]

This was a long time coming really. As a little Spirling reading the original, the first thoughts I had were "Gosh, this could use some niggers and women with sideshaved hair. I wish it spent less time on Harold having neat little adventures and more on explaining why his crayon does stuff- because deep lore in the 'Haroldverse' is very necessary and not a contrived way of making your production seem deeper than it is. It's also played too straight, I need at least 7 quips per half an hour because no one can unironically or unsarcastically express anything anymore, especially in fiction. Hopefully it'll have a multiverse as well, lord knows how many faggot flags the harolds could make if they worked together!"

I just hope there's a contrived line about 'not giving other colors the time of day' because it'd be the one funny thing film could do. Other than that like the writers and director should have been it's a stillborn film that will hopefully flop.