Halo MCC/Infinite/general Griefing thread - Six months, two maps, no refunds

[StacticShock]

WE WUZ COVENANT AND SHIEET.
also cortana looks like fucking arse, she has short hair during that timeframe you fucks.

 

[Spergichu]

I'm sorry, you can't just dump that without elaborating at all. I knew SPV3 was a shitshow but I never heard anything like this.

I can't attest to furry shit, (would not surprise me, but still) but there is a terminal about how the Flood was making Keyes want to fuck Miranda which Masterz (the guy in charge of the mod team) wrote himself and said was his favorite terminal. He also had plans for a scrapped ODST mod where you'd discover the UNSC were heccin' nawtsees that genocided every single mudslime because, uh... "you don't see any in the games". That and also make one of the ODSTs from Buck's squad gay for some reason.

 

[geckogoy]

I'm gonna be honest, if you are so attached to halo that you still want to play new releases despite how clearly off the rails they are, you need to accept that you are nigger cattle

 

[a triangle squared]

I'll try and take a stab at why 343 Cortana is inferior.

Spoiler: Cortanatism

She looks friendly and cute.

This was the issue with 4tana, honestly.

Halo 1-3 she looked like an austere cyberpunk chick; sharp facial features, an alternative haircut, and inhuman eyes.. They rounded out her face a little in Halo 3 but her vulnerability in the game justifies the slightly softer look. Point being she had an alien, artificial aesthetic that suited her wit, her snark, and her intelligence. She looks human enough, but not quite. Because she is, y'know, an AI.

4tana is great and all, but they humanized her entire appearance besides the most basic features, that being her markings and her form being a hologram. They humanized her into a stereotypical wifey; karen hair (because it was Halsey's haircut), rounder face, thicker lips, more human eyes. Of course everyone knows what they were going for, she looks more human because they want you to be more invested in her wanting to be real or some shit and her melodrama with Chief.

Why do I think 3tana's softening works and 4tana's doesn't? Because Halo 4 is shit and that melodramatic plotline sucks ass so it doesn't justify the change. Every subsequent Halo has leaned harder into having Cortana/Weapon be more realistic and less artificial. That's ultimately why I don't like Campaign Evolved's Cortana, not just that she's not purple, her hair's wrong, or the face is off, it's that the entire aesthetic is wrong too, and that original appearance complimented her personality in the first three games perfectly. She's a hologram, why does she have to look like a real woman? A hag at that?

TLDR - "Realistic" (Or should I say, 343's vision of "realistic") Cortana just doesn't have the ethereal, otherworldly charm she had when she was stylized on old Xbox graphics. Put in the hands of competent artists, I'm sure we could've had the best of both worlds stylistically, but we can't have nice things.

 

[Cpt. Stud Beefpile]

Halo CE: Anniversary about to be the less retarded demaster/demake of the bunch.
This has to be the least competent FPS studio in the industry, just hire the modders at this point ffs.

Ruby's Rebalanced if you've played the vanilla campaign to death and SPV3 if you actually need some new shit that isn't retarded/broken/Godmode-on-Legendary.

If this is the best the studio can do, just shut it all down and end the story at the retarded cliffhanger with the Rogue AI's.

It's sad that there are people on soycial media who are hyping up this new 343 game.

A lot of people are too desperate for the good old days to come back and can't tell the difference between an actually-better remake like System Shock 1 or Silent Hill 2 got...

And slopshit like this.

 

[DickMain]

Man I can't wait for E-Day.

 

[Soggy Floppa]

an actually-better remake like System Shock 1 or Silent Hill 2 got

Highly debatable

 

[StacticShock]

A lot of people are too desperate for the good old days to come back and can't tell the difference between an actually-better remake like System Shock 1 or Silent Hill 2 got...

both remakes are shit, the fuck are you on?

 

[30+GameOvers]

Silent Hill 2

Wasn't that one mediocre? Or do Silent Hill 2 stans just have Stockholm Syndrome?

she has short hair during that timeframe you fucks.

Did you really expect anyone there to play the original? It's old and graphics suck and stuff, it's a waste of time man!

I'm gonna be honest, if you are so attached to halo that you still want to play new releases despite how clearly off the rails they are, you need to accept that you are nigger cattle

I will attest that Infinite looks kind of fun only because you get a grappling hook and seeing how the Halo formula works in an open world is an interesting experiment. The entire game is essentially the second level of CE but it's an entire game on it's own. 4 and 5 are slop and so is this, however.

both remakes are shit, the fuck are you on?

System Shock 1 is alright for the most part, at least SS1 needed one where as SH2 is still perfectly playable today.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

They can shove as much bullshit into the final builds as possible and this demake would still have absolutely zero presence in any discussion outside of Reddit and this very thread.

Nobody in my circle who grew up with Halo even commits this bullshit to memory anymore.

 

[BinaricHate]

New slopmake screens

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this just looks like watered down halo 2A cinematics.
Except since it's unreal jeetgine 5 it's gonna run ten times worse than halo2A and demand you have a state of the line GPU.

Modern game development, everybody.

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

Someone turned Sergeant Johnson into Steve Harvey.

"Name something you wouldn't want ONI to see"

 

[>IMPLYING]

Someone turned Sergeant Johnson into Steve Harvey.
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"Name something you wouldn't want ONI to see"

I'm definitely splitting hairs but I think he looks like Tim Meadows.

 

[Zaryiu2]

Someone turned Sergeant Johnson into Steve Harvey.
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"Name something you wouldn't want ONI to see"

Great. Now i do want an actual Steve Harvey-like sergeant in a real game, it might actually work

 

[SCV]

This should have been an immediately fireable offense:

https://www.reddit.com/r/halo/comments/2vl26y/we_had_people_who_we_hired_who_hated_halo_because/

"343 Ruined Halo" remains forever true

I cannot believe this is their logo lol

 

[Oliver Onions]

she just looks like a normal woman who isn't dolled up in makeup or made for people to jerk off to.

Then why bother giving the AI a human model at all? There's a reason the holograms in Blade Runner look like Anna De Armis and not Amy Schumer, to encourage people to engage with them.

Let's get rid of Master Chief's iconic armour while we're at it, make him look like a normal soldier. It just has to be practical and not aesthetic, right?

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

I’ll play it because it will be on Game Pass, but no chance I’ll spend money on it. Same as Infinite.

It really needs multiplayer to be successful though. Especially if they want to lure in PlayStation players for future titles.

 

[Miragestallio]

I am really curious to see how they are going to tackle the forerunner issue now that they're remaking an og game. They probably will double down on humans no longer being forerunner with a terminal or two and I'll be really pissed off once I learn of it but I'm used to it atp.

I still am, however, very angry that they decided to change the original ar mag size and add sprint. But worst of all to me is how positive the comment section was because now I'm worried 343 might sell just enough during launch day to avoid going under .

I want the company DEAD. I want 343's finances to be on the red. I want them to fail and for Microsoft to cut their losses and dissolve them. They have been getting away with ruining halo for far too long and they absolutely deserve it. Many studios went down for waaaaaay less.

 

[Fully Eshay Skits Bruh V4]

Bros.... That was so fucking gay, that it gave me AIDS. Its never been so over...

 

[Hyper Vigilant Dumbass]

I have never played a Halo game

You wouldn't get it then. You have to play Halo to understand how important it is for Cortana to be attractive in a general sense. She's an incredibly important character.