💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

[CalmMyTits]

Gloria is now nineteen, so I wonder if she has ever considered going to college. How does she expect to support herself?

 

[CWCissey]

Gloria is now nineteen, so I wonder if she has ever considered going to college. How does she expect to support herself?

In Gloria's head: MY GENIOOS AND NATURAL TALENT WILL SUPPORT ME.

The Reality: Blowjobs to frat boys.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Gloria is now nineteen, so I wonder if she has ever considered going to college. How does she expect to support herself?

In Gloria's head: MY GENIOOS AND NATURAL TALENT WILL SUPPORT ME.

The Reality: Daddy's shady business schemes.

Fixed.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I wouldn't be surprised if the references turned out to be women who were Playboy centerfolds. The image makes me think of Pamela Anderson: someone with a lot of bad plastic surgery, really awful dyed hair, and obviously waxed eyebrows.

Are you suggesting the Tesches are anything less than upstanding, wholesome Christians?

Gloria is now nineteen, so I wonder if she has ever considered going to college. How does she expect to support herself?

In Gloria's head: MY GENIOOS AND NATURAL TALENT WILL SUPPORT ME.

The Reality: Daddy's money/Blowjobs to frat boys.

The only conceivable reason Gloria would go to college is for her MRS degree.

 

[CalmMyTits]

For her to become a MRS, she would need to find a husband who enables and supports her as much as Daddy does, and is also rich.

Also, her Facebook is so full of self-cocksucking. https://www.facebook.com/GloriaTeschOfficial She's not even that pretty, and I wonder how many of these modeling 'opportunities' were actually given to her by dear old dad.

And then there's this. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Worlds-Y ... 2667141175 where she maintains the lie that she is the world's youngest novelist.

And this note from her FB that says she is doing a SEVENTH Maradonia novel... https://www.facebook.com/notes/gloria-t ... 3489659411

 

[Henry Bemis]

For her to become a MRS, she would need to find a husband who enables and supports her as much as Daddy does, and is also rich.

From what I've heard, Florida isn't exactly short on brainless boys sponging off their obscenely wealthy parents.

And this note from her FB that says she is doing a SEVENTH Maradonia novel... https://www.facebook.com/notes/gloria-t ... 3489659411

Did she mean to say she's cutting one of her books in half and releasing that under a new title?

 

[CalmMyTits]

For her to become a MRS, she would need to find a husband who enables and supports her as much as Daddy does, and is also rich.

From what I've heard, Florida isn't exactly short on brainless boys sponging off their obscenely wealthy parents.

And this note from her FB that says she is doing a SEVENTH Maradonia novel... https://www.facebook.com/notes/gloria-t ... 3489659411

Did she mean to say she's cutting one of her books in half and releasing that under a new title?

Not being from Florida, I wouldn't know. But I'll take your word for it. I shudder to think of what would happen if Ms. Tesch got pregnant. With wealthy spoiled parents and enabling grandparents, I don't even... The best chance for this child is to have a nanny who teaches them some much-needed life lessons.

... I don't know. I thought that she had already written 3 books, then split them each in half and really padded them to make six. In any case, it seems the project has been scrapped, as this note was made last year.

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

For her to become a MRS, she would need to find a husband who enables and supports her as much as Daddy does, and is also rich.

Also, her Facebook is so full of self-cocksucking. https://www.facebook.com/GloriaTeschOfficial She's not even that pretty, and I wonder how many of these modeling 'opportunities' were actually given to her by dear old dad.

And then there's this. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Worlds-Y ... 2667141175 where she maintains the lie that she is the world's youngest novelist.

And this note from her FB that says she is doing a SEVENTH Maradonia novel... https://www.facebook.com/notes/gloria-t ... 3489659411

To me, she's not bad-looking, but it's the constant attempts at looking ~*~sexy~*~ that really bother me. Sure, she's a legal adult now, but there's still something a little skeezy about it to me. If she didn't try so damn hard to look sexy and just looked natural, she'd probably come off as both prettier and less egotistical (only slightly less, mind you).

The Maradonia and the Lost Secret of Kra bit sounds familiar...I knew she was splitting her trilogy in half to make six books, and I could've swore that was one of the names for the 'new' books, not a seventh book on its' own. But it seems like the Maradonia books are old hat by now -- they're clearly focusing their attention on the movie.

As an aside, someone posted a link to this news article in the comments on the book post -- it's on the older side, but I'd never seen it before. It's interesting, since it seems to confirm what some people were speculating (it might've been on Conjugal Felicity), that Gloria had some German background in her, thanks to her weird use of words/German ways of expressing things that some people noted. It also says her mother was an art teacher in her homeland (Russia) which...actually surprised me. Maybe landscapes, and not people, are her thing, I don't know.

As for the MRS degree, I suppose it's plausible. Better than becoming a lot lizard, as I've seen others speculate as well. Though I shudder to think what the children would be like. If you grow up in wealth and having your every whim indulged, that doesn't make for a humble person. Not that we'd have to think about that for a while (I hope).

 

[captkrisma]

She seems to toot her own horn a ton...especially with sockpuppets and fake websites. Anyone check out the 'celebrity buzzing' website she posted? Her entry is the only post on the whole damn site...it's like she's not even trying anymore.

EDIT: The BlogSpot article was posted in 01 July 2013...totally not trying anymore.

 

[José Mourinho]

I wonder how Gloria Tesch's going to react if the movie has terrible reviews.

 

[Pikimon]

I wonder how Gloria Tesch's going to react if the movie has terrible reviews.

Make her own reviews under fake names.

 

[CalmMyTits]

^That's assuming the movie will ever be finished. :/

Also saw the Blogspot article. Good fucking god.

 

[HexBawxUno]

With the two threads going on at the same time, I couldn't help but notice a few parallels between Amy and Gloria:

- both are funded through shady sources (Samy's gangster activity, Gerry's charity fraud)
- neither the Maradonia books nor Amy's Baking Company seem to be making any money
- both pass off others' work (the cakes and the plot elements in the books respectively) as their own, and what work they actually do is of very low quality
- both inflate their reputation with sock puppetry
- both have media projects (the reality show and the Maradonia movie respectively) that will most likely be going nowhere
- and last and probably least, they have similar face shapes - Amy vaguely looks like an older Gloria

 

[captkrisma]

^ all we're missing are cats. MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Also: wasn't she home-schooled? How could she be valedictorian if she's the only student? LOLZ.

 

[CalmMyTits]

^ all we're missing are cats. MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Also: wasn't she home-schooled? How could she be valedictorian if she's the only student? LOLZ.

Oh, she was homeschooled?

Well.

That explains a LOT.

 

[Pikimon]

Oh those homeschool kids, so friendly yet so odd.

I actually got a homeschooled kid in my PsychBio class last semester who denounced Germ Theory, Evolution, Climate Change, and Homosexuality all in 5 minutes of speaking. He also asserts that prayer fixes all Psychological and Physical ailments and that diseases like schizophrenia and dementia can be attributed to possession. The professor kind of smiled in that "You are so going to fail this class" kid of way, which makes sense considering the majority of the assignments are research reports and one experiment that we need to put together.

That being said, me and my friends sitting near me think that he is gayer than Cher and Madonna snorting rainbow-colored meth off of Liberace's ass and are in the current process of getting our friend Lance to seduce him.

 

[CalmMyTits]

From the reading on Team Tesch, it seems that perhaps English was not her parent's first language and that's why Gerry did such a shit job of editing. Maria is from Russia and Gerry is from Germany.

I also find it funny that a man who is supposed to be involved in Christian work also engages in shady business. Course he's not the only Christian involved in shady stuff, but yeah.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Course he's not the only Christian involved in shady stuff, but yeah.

On that topic, Conjugal Felicity's latest post sums it up perfectly:

“Modeling, photo shoots and professional promotions fill up some of her extra time, if any time. But Gloria stated that parts of the modeling industry is dangerous to a young woman with strong faith in God.”

Right. For example, when they overly sexualize a 17 year old girl?

Yeah, I can see how that might be a problem.

 

[bradsternum]

She's an amazing butterface.

 

[Saney]

Course he's not the only Christian involved in shady stuff, but yeah.

On that topic, Conjugal Felicity's latest post sums it up perfectly:

“Modeling, photo shoots and professional promotions fill up some of her extra time, if any time. But Gloria stated that parts of the modeling industry is dangerous to a young woman with strong faith in God.”

Right. For example, when they overly sexualize a 17 year old girl?

Yeah, I can see how that might be a problem.

Holy shit, she does look like Amy Bouzaglo.