💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

[Henry Bemis]

Conjugal Felicity's takedown of the project came swiftly and brutally.

 

[WWWWolf]

For the most part, that's because she is (short of her parents, perhaps) the most emotionally-invested person attached to the project. This is her Mary Sue fantasy baby, after all.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was wondering earlier just what kind of stuff really motivates Tesch, and I think that she's definitely deluded herself into thinking that she writes absolutely golden books. Every time people gripe about the books, the editor walks in and says "there there, don't cry, it was my job as an editor to make the book perfect, and if people complain about it, I'm not doing my job as well as I should. The next edition will be much better!" (Then s/he will turn to their parents and go "*cough cought* just a bit of cash?")

So obviously she genuinely gives a damn about the film project and really wants this to work.

Conjugal Felicity's takedown of the project came swiftly and brutally.

Hell yeah. Not having heard much from the CF guy this year, so it feels like a second Christmas.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I was wondering earlier just what kind of stuff really motivates Tesch and I think that she's definitely deluded herself into thinking that she writes absolutely golden books.

She's motivated by nothing more than the need for adulation for anything and everything. If she really was determined to seek it via Maradonia, she would not only have written the remaining books in the series, but she (read: Daddy) would not have let the movie stagnate the way it did.

But she hasn't written the books and the movie was dead in the water for over a year, during which time, as Conjugal Felicity points out, she's been doing anything but Maradonia: she awkwardly rambles on YouTube, she awkwardly rambles on her blog, and even finds the time to participate in a runway for the 2012 Republican National Convention.*

*You'd think someone with such a (presumably) socially and religiously conservative upbringing wouldn't use so much tasteful cleavage in her work, but hey, it seems to sell.

 

[WWWWolf]

She's motivated by nothing more than the need for adulation for anything and everything.

Yup. Her family and close circle keeps telling her "you're doing awesome stuff awesomely, don't listen to the haters", no matter what happens and no matter what she decides to do.

Of course, anyone with half a brain would notice that this isn't the way things work in real world. Making good books requires commitment to the project and real criticism, not "hey, I wrote a book once, it was awesome, wasn't it? People have waited for decades for some novels from some famous authors, why would any delays with the next part be a problem?" and "they told me they'll fix all problems in the editing".

It's just that sort of delusion rich kids can afford.

 

[Fialovy]

yeah, I pretty much sum her up as "screw the rules of writing, I have money!"

 

[DykesDykesChina]

"Maradonia" looks an awful lot like a misspelling of an Argentinian soccer player's name...

Didn't Team Tesch also plan to have a Maradonia theme park built? BTW one gets the impression that they are trying to replicate the success of Paolini's stupid Eragon books. It's the same situation: a spoiled teenager gets his clicheed fantasy novels vanity published by mom and dad... Only in Paolini's case this actually met with success.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I'm following a blogger, vlogger and author that I like who is trying to get established, and he's doing pretty well so far, but I'm sure he's struggling.

It ticks me off that someone with minimal talent like Tesch can get published and get a movie made with no struggle when there are likely thousands of aspiring filmmakers and writers out there with far more talent who can barely get any attention from people who could get them recognized.

To see what she would be like if she was a musician and life was fair, see David Tanny.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I'm following a blogger, vlogger and author that I like who is trying to get established, and he's doing pretty well so far, but I'm sure he's struggling.

It ticks me off that someone with minimal talent like Tesch can get published and get a movie made with no struggle when there are likely thousands of aspiring filmmakers and writers out there with far more talent who can barely get any attention from people who could get them recognized.

To say that Tesch "accomplished" so much with "no struggle" is misleading, as "no struggle" implies that there was still the possibility of one. There never was, not with Daddy's deep wallet well of support.

And to say that the thousands of promising actors and personnel will get no attention compared to Maradonia is also misleading, as no attention is almost certainly better than negative attention. And not the "no such thing as bad publicity" kind of negative attention, but the "no one wants to work with you" kind, the only kind of attention this movie will get from anyone in any filmmaking hierarchy.

The only conceivable "struggle" I can see coming to Team Tesch is running out of options when all their shady business (whatever it is) and bridge-burning comes back to bite them in the ass.

 

[Yawning Squirtle]

"Maradonia" looks an awful lot like a misspelling of an Argentinian soccer player's name...

Haha glad to know I wasn't the only one who thought of this either a misspelling or some kind of country named after him (maybe Argentina should change their name to Maradonia, since they love him so much).

But I digress. Yeah, everything about this is just awful, and the fact she seems to be so delusional about her actual skills is kinda sad, really. Sheltering parents can really ruin a kid.

 

[murdoc]

"Maradonia" looks an awful lot like a misspelling of an Argentinian soccer player's name...

Didn't Team Tesch also plan to have a Maradonia theme park built? BTW one gets the impression that they are trying to replicate the success of Paolini's stupid Eragon books. It's the same situation: a spoiled teenager gets his clicheed fantasy novels vanity published by mom and dad... Only in Paolini's case this actually met with success.

i think the eragon books were successful because cor blimey we had no idea teenagers wrote stories, let alone fantasy trilogies

maybe maradonia was trying to hop on the teenage author fad train a few years too late
except the books aren't impressive for a teenager in the same way eragon was. they'd only be impressive if they had been dictated to a stenographer by an infant

 

[OR 345]

Oh man, you think the portrayal of the Gothic Movement (specifically, Alana and her friends) is great in the first book, just wait until you hear what they do in the second.

Spoiler

They beat the shit out of Maya and then use, oh man, a OUIJA BOARD. So goffik!

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

I dunno, I find her description of the story as being "a classic tale of good vs. evil" to be very honest and accurate.

The "King of Light" has a subject who's the most beautiful "light carrier" there is, then this "light carrier" rebels out of pride, and the King of Light banishes him and his followers to the "Empire of Evil."

I mean, it's hard to get much more classic than the Bible.

 

[Judge Holden]

I'm following a blogger, vlogger and author that I like who is trying to get established, and he's doing pretty well so far, but I'm sure he's struggling.

It ticks me off that someone with minimal talent like Tesch can get published and get a movie made with no struggle when there are likely thousands of aspiring filmmakers and writers out there with far more talent who can barely get any attention from people who could get them recognized.

To say that Tesch "accomplished" so much with "no struggle" is misleading, as "no struggle" implies that there was still the possibility of one. There never was, not with Daddy's deep wallet well of support.

And to say that the thousands of promising actors and personnel will get no attention compared to Maradonia is also misleading, as no attention is almost certainly better than negative attention. And not the "no such thing as bad publicity" kind of negative attention, but the "no one wants to work with you" kind, the only kind of attention this movie will get from anyone in any filmmaking hierarchy.

The only conceivable "struggle" I can see coming to Team Tesch is running out of options when all their shady business (whatever it is) and bridge-burning comes back to bite them in the ass.

Exactly. No matter how irredeemably shite something may be, enough money pumped into it will be enough to get it off the ground. On the other hand the chances of people actually liking the Maradonia saga, or at least not hating it so much they burn out their eyes and ears with a plasma torch just to make the stupid stop, are probably less likely than the chances of success my dream of making a multi billion dollar industry out of the range of hangover sandwiches I invented over the past year has.

Personally, as much as egotistical womanchilds who worship their own shit as the "BEST THING EVAAAAR" (both metaphorical and probably literal in her case) and treat those who disagree as brainless idiots, the fact her sugardaddy is happily furthering her delusions of grandeur is just pathetic. Fr fuck sake, when I shat out my first "novel" at age 7 (a 10 page dino crisis rip off named "Dinosaurs, Terror, and Evil" that was in all honesty the literary equivalent of a razor wire dildo) my parents, while supportive of me learning "creative" writing did not for a moment put the idea into my head that it was utter perfection and proof I was a god among insects as her parents clearly did.

I just hope when this movie crashes and burns, I am able to witness her reaction to hard reality.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I just hope when this movie crashes and burns, I am able to witness her reaction to hard reality.

Presuming the movie project doesn't lose steam for good and Team Tesch try desperately to pretend like it never happened.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

I "wrote" my first story at age 4, i.e. I dictated it to my mom. The title was: "Kardan und das Blumenbeet" (Kardan and the bed of flowers). I don't remember anything about the plot - it was something like ten sentences long - with the exception of the last sentence, which read: "Kardan frolicked down the tube, yay yay yay!"

 

[WWWWolf]

I found a fantasy "novel" I wrote when I was a teenager. The plot was basically "there's this long, pointless, largely uneventful journey and then they fight a dragon." And then I changed my mind and thought dragons are awesome and in the end the protagonists find a dragon egg and take care of the hatchling. Some of the jokes were funny, too bad almost every single one of them was stolen. The romance/sex scenes were so astonishingly godawful that I removed them myself back then.

I actually found a copy of the story and printed it out. Too bad I can't remember where I put the printout. I have this nagging fear that one day I have guests in my home and they'll stumble on it. Gaaah!

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I tried writing something when I was a teenager but I'm not very creative and crashed into slumber after the first page.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

I wish some billionaire would troll Team Tesch by giving them all the money they want for their movie and theme park. Both would be terrible and lulzy and stand out as landmarks in the Universal History of Fail.

 

[cubesandcubes]

I wish some billionaire would troll Team Tesch by giving them all the money they want for their movie and theme park. Both would be terrible and lulzy and stand out as landmarks in the Universal History of Fail.

Sort of like what the trolls wanted to do for Chris with the Parappa the Rapper contest. Send him to the penny arcade con and watch the lulz flow.

I wonder how many people would donate to a kickstarter which would try to make the movie/themepark happen on the condition that Chris would be an executive producer...

 

[cypocryphy]

"Maradonia" looks an awful lot like a misspelling of an Argentinian soccer player's name...

Haha glad to know I wasn't the only one who thought of this either a misspelling or some kind of country named after him (maybe Argentina should change their name to Maradonia, since they love him so much).

But I digress. Yeah, everything about this is just awful, and the fact she seems to be so delusional about her actual skills is kinda sad, really. Sheltering parents can really ruin a kid.

I always thought the same thing too. The next book should be "Maradonia: The Hand Of God".