💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

[Lorento]

That was the last Appolyon. The new one looks like Mel Brooks.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2-ZOOPwwHMY

Don't remind me, I already wrote a draft review of this trailer scene by scene. If the whole movie is like this, then....well.

 

[glutenfreebooty]

Protip: If you want to look rich, steam your clothes, and crop out the aluminum folding awning and lower-middle class backyards.

 

[Maradontia]

Ver archivo adjunto 92448
Protip: If you want to look rich, steam your clothes, and crop out the aluminum folding awning and lower-middle class backyards.

Do her boobs look slightly larger than normal? That coupled with the marriage announcement. Is she pregnant?

 

[January Cyst]

Don't forget too that they made the license plate washed out so you can't tell which state it is (they must pine for the generic plates of European countries instead of the unique state plates we have in this country). Or look up the plate and find which rental place it came from.

The c-class had Texas plates.

 

[Beef Thunderpants]

The big variable in trying to guess an indie movie's budget just from watching it is that a con man producer can get huge amounts of work done for free by wannabes: people just trying to get IMDB credits or samples of work for their reels, or people with no professional aspirations, but who want the "glamour" and bragging value of telling everyone they're "making a movie." Producers often con people into working free by promising a piece of "the back end."

Gunter was throwing around the $800,000 figure at the Los Angeles Film Market, but was willing to sell for $80,000. Watch the long trailer: these aren't professional actors with SAG cards, they're friends and family and maybe some local amateurs. Gunter could have easily done his own music, conned some aspiring editor and camera people to work years on end. It's really hard to know, but the scale and logistics make me guess at minimum tens of thousands. Could be much more if he actually paid people, or much less if he's a cleverer con man than I think he is.

The other question is whether he got investors. A common con is to raise a much more money than you spend on the movie, then pocket the difference. Are there dentists where Gunter lives who would love to be dentist/producers? Pretty likely. A friend doing a $150,000 horror film got $50,000 of that from a nerdy computer hundred-thousandaire who never read the script and had only one question: would there be a premiere where he could bring a date to walk "the red carpet?"

There is a running scam in the music business to bilk aspiring artists out of money. 'Discover' them and offer to produce their demo, then send them off to your partners to overpay for studio time, promo materials, post-production, CDs, etc. I'm sure there are people out there looking for suckers willing to take their word for it when asking them to help them make a movie.

 

[AnOminous]

There is a running scam in the music business to bilk aspiring artists out of money. 'Discover' them and offer to produce their demo, then send them off to your partners to overpay for studio time, promo materials, post-production, CDs, etc. I'm sure there are people out there looking for suckers willing to take their word for it when asking them to help them make a movie.

The giveaway for this and really, almost all work-based scams is that if you are putting up money in advance supposedly for something you're doing as a job, you're invariably being ripped off. The money flows in the other direction. Almost any work-at-home ad like this is a scam. You will not make money by sitting at home and masturbating (well unless you are really good at it anyway to the point people would pay to watch you).

 

[bradsternum]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5215764/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_1
Lol, a sequel to an unreleased movie.

 

[Muscle Bra]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5215764/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_1
Lol, a sequel to an unreleased movie.

So, everyone humor me and let's pretend this sequel is actually going to come out. It's pretty clear that Glo-Glo is going to want to play the mermaid because, well, Glo-Glo. So ... if Glo-Glo is playing the mermaid, who in the hell is going to play her self-insert character Maya?

 

[bradsternum]

I think this is just either a troll, or the Tesches are trying to pull another scam - getting investors interested in the first one by "proving" a franchise is happening, and that a noted visual effects guy is going to be writing and directing it. No way in hell Edison Carter would direct this. They're probably among the group of people who think that IMDB is an actual authority rather than a movie industry wikipedia.

 

[millais]

So, everyone humor me and let's pretend this sequel is actually going to come out. It's pretty clear that Glo-Glo is going to want to play the mermaid because, well, Glo-Glo. So ... if Glo-Glo is playing the mermaid, who in the hell is going to play her self-insert character Maya?

She will play the mermaid with a different colored wig and play herself without the wig.

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

So, everyone humor me and let's pretend this sequel is actually going to come out. It's pretty clear that Glo-Glo is going to want to play the mermaid because, well, Glo-Glo. So ... if Glo-Glo is playing the mermaid, who in the hell is going to play her self-insert character Maya?

"Rumored" to be Lifei Liu. Never heard of her before but she has actual film credits so I'm skeptical.

http://m.imdb.com/name/nm1703577/bio?ref_=m_mn_ov_bio

Edit: Gotta agree with @bradsternum.

 

[Maradontia]

"Rumored" to be Lifei Liu. Never heard of her before but she has actual film credits so I'm skeptical.

http://m.imdb.com/name/nm1703577/bio?ref_=m_mn_ov_bio

Edit: Gotta agree with @bradsternum.

Actually, what I think is happening (if this is real) is Gerry got some Chinese investors to fund the movie by convincing them Maradonia is as big as Lord of the Rings in America, and the movie is bound for a China release in theaters. Maybe it'll be shot in English and subbed in Mandarin. The Chinese actress is to give it legitimacy in China, or maybe she's associated with the investors and putting her in a main role was part of the deal. Those poor Chinese audiences.

Also, it looks like Gloria gets killed off early (presumably so she can continue her rap and model careers).

"Joey witnesses as his sister, Maya, is swept away in a violent hurricane storm. 3 years later, Joey is relying to deal with the passing of his sister. Joey decides to skip school and finds himself caught entombed in a cave when a landslide seals the cave entrance. While looking for an alternate way out of the cave, Joey finds himself in a magical world called 'Maradona', which is inhabited by magical mythical creatures. Maradonia is full of turmoil as it is in peril from the evil King Apollyon. Joey finds himself in the midst of a revolution and he must help the mermaid queen stop King Apollyon from conquering the Pillars of Gurges, the last doorway that connects Maradonia and Joey's home world."

Here, let me fix that Tesch grammar for you and try to clarify what they're taking about:

While enjoying a day at the beach, a violent hurricane suddenly strikes and Joey watches as his sister Maya is swept away. Three years later, he is still trying to deal with her passing. He decides to skip school, and while exploring a cave finds himself entombed when a landslide seals the entrance. While looking for an alternate way out of the cave, Joey crosses into another dimension and finds himself in a magical world called Maradonia, which is inhabited by mythical creatures. After the portal closes behind him, he learns that Maradonia is in peril due to the tyrannical rule of the evil King Apollyon, and soon finds himself in the midst of a revolution. Now, Joey must help the mermaid queen stop King Apollyon from conquering the Pillars of Gurges, the only remaining doorway that connects Maradonia to Earth.

 

[DragoonSierra]

Actually, what I think is happening (if this is real) is Gerry got some Chinese investors to fund the movie by convincing them Maradonia is as big as Lord of the Rings in America, and the movie is bound for a China release in theaters. Maybe it'll be shot in English and subbed in Mandarin. The Chinese actress is to give it legitimacy in China, or maybe she's associated with the investors and putting her in a main role was part of the deal. Those poor Chinese audiences.

Also, it looks like Gloria gets killed off early (presumably so she can continue her rap and model careers).

"Joey witnesses as his sister, Maya, is swept away in a violent hurricane storm. 3 years later, Joey is relying to deal with the passing of his sister. Joey decides to skip school and finds himself caught entombed in a cave when a landslide seals the cave entrance. While looking for an alternate way out of the cave, Joey finds himself in a magical world called 'Maradona', which is inhabited by magical mythical creatures. Maradonia is full of turmoil as it is in peril from the evil King Apollyon. Joey finds himself in the midst of a revolution and he must help the mermaid queen stop King Apollyon from conquering the Pillars of Gurges, the last doorway that connects Maradonia and Joey's home world."

He better hope those investors arent linked with the Triad

 

[Maradontia]

Also, I'm confused as to whether A Mermaid's Tale is a sequel or a remake. imdb makes no mention of Maradonia and the Shadow Empire on either Gunter or Gloria's pages, and Gloria's other acting credits proudly include student films so it's odd that her opus wouldn't be there as well. Have they abandoned it after they couldn't get investors and it got poor reception at its 2 showings?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm8080565/?ref_=tt_ov_wr

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5338566/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Actually, what I think is happening (if this is real) is Gerry got some Chinese investors to fund the movie by convincing them Maradonia is as big as Lord of the Rings in America, and the movie is bound for a China release in theaters. Maybe it'll be shot in English and subbed in Mandarin. The Chinese actress is to give it legitimacy in China, or maybe she's associated with the investors and putting her in a main role was part of the deal. Those poor Chinese audiences.

Also, it looks like Gloria gets killed off early (presumably so she can continue her rap and model careers).

"Joey witnesses as his sister, Maya, is swept away in a violent hurricane storm. 3 years later, Joey is relying to deal with the passing of his sister. Joey decides to skip school and finds himself caught entombed in a cave when a landslide seals the cave entrance. While looking for an alternate way out of the cave, Joey finds himself in a magical world called 'Maradona', which is inhabited by magical mythical creatures. Maradonia is full of turmoil as it is in peril from the evil King Apollyon. Joey finds himself in the midst of a revolution and he must help the mermaid queen stop King Apollyon from conquering the Pillars of Gurges, the last doorway that connects Maradonia and Joey's home world."

Here, let me fix that Tesch grammar for you and try to clarify what they're taking about:

While enjoying a day at the beach, a violent hurricane suddenly strikes and Joey watches as his sister Maya is swept away. Three years later, he is still trying to deal with her passing. He decides to skip school, and while exploring a cave finds himself entombed when a landslide seals the entrance. While looking for an alternate way out of the cave, Joey crosses into another dimension and finds himself in a magical world called Maradonia, which is inhabited by mythical creatures. After the portal closes behind him, he learns that Maradonia is in peril due to the tyrannical rule of the evil King Apollyon, and soon finds himself in the midst of a revolution. Now, Joey must help the mermaid queen stop King Apollyon from conquering the Pillars of Gurges, the only remaining doorway that connects Maradonia to Earth.

A ... a "violent hurricane storm"? But, see, hurricanes, by their very nature, are ... I mean ...

Well anyway, @Maradontia , good work with the editing. Makes it look genuinely interesting.

 

[Maradontia]

A ... a "violent hurricane storm"? But, see, hurricanes, by their very nature, are ... I mean ...

Well anyway, @Maradontia , good work with the editing. Makes it look genuinely interesting.

If I had the time and interest I would do the whole books. ESL Gunter, Marina, and Gloria (since she was home schooled by thing 1 and thing 2) can't put an English sentence together so everything they write sounds like it came from one of the characters in The Room, Birdemic, or Troll 2 (which were also by ESL writers). I don't think Marina helped with the books much except the illustrations, though. A third grade teacher could edit anything they write and make it comprehensible enough that it sounds more interesting. After that it's just a matter of explaining things or altering what doesn't make sense, pacing, and getting away from cliches or outright plagiarism from other fantasy stories like LOTR and Narnia, and you have a half decent story.

 

[Tom B Jobe]

Getting some names mixed up on IMDB is a long, long way from something being real. They have some cursory controls on what gets on there, but not hard for determined grifters to work around. Given the brazenness of their previous claims about the first movie, I wouldn't be shocked if this was their exploitation of this poor sap saying he'd take a look at it. The November 4, 2018 release date is another brown (for bullshit) flag: it's just not how it works in real life for any movie whose title isn't a household name.

 

[Muscle Bra]

If I had the time and interest I would do the whole books. ... A third grade teacher could edit anything they write and make it comprehensible enough that it sounds more interesting. After that it's just a matter of explaining things or altering what doesn't make sense, pacing, and getting away from cliches or outright plagiarism from other fantasy stories like LOTR and Narnia, and you have a half decent story.

If you had the time and interest to do all that, I would think you'd be better off writing your own original book and leaving Maradonia face down in the dirt.

 

[Maradontia]

What's Glo Glo trying to tell us with this cryptic Tweet? Has she dumped her fiance for Chuck Fonshell Jr., the only person to like this Tweet? Or are the two things unrelated? Her Facebook still shows her pic with the old guy.

https://twitter.com/GloriaTesch/status/730508918548475904

 

[Ti-99/4A]

^If that's the kind of 'upgrade' she's talking about, well that's just what rich famous celebrities do. Get suddenly engaged to someone they're just totally in love with and then drop them for someone else just as suddenly.