EU Germany ends Phone Sick Notes from Day 1 "to cut absences" - German man, are you sick? Do you wanna call off work? Well TOO BAD, get your ass up and get a fucking certificate, LOSER!

Germany's government agreed to scrap phone-based sick notes for short illnesses, mandating in-person or video doctor's certificates from the first day of absence—up from day four. This follows seven hours of negotiations between CDU, CSU, and SPD, amid 2023 averages of 15.1 sick days per worker and 23.3 days reported in 2025 by some insurers. Business groups applaud the move to boost productivity, while doctors and unions fear clinic overloads and a culture of mistrust. The reform fits a larger package with tax relief and labor changes, heading to parliament without a set start date.

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Germany's Chancellor Merz: "We can no longer accept the extraordinarily high levels of sick leave in our companies. We are abolishing sick leave by telephone and introducing the requirement to submit a medical certificate from the very first day of illness. We know this is a tough decision. But we can no longer afford this competitive disadvantage caused by prolonged absences from work."

https://x.com/clashreport/status/2072603035277139974

Talk about pulling the whip on heckin proletariat... jeez!

edit: removed the static image and put a video archive of the press conference instead.

 

[AirMail]

Any time my boss makes me go get a certificate, I make sure to take a few extra days off to relax, just as a punishment, because fuck you for not just taking my word for it. I could have just taken the one day I needed, but since I'm going to the doctor anyway, might as well get my monies worth and take a week.

It's not like the doctor is going to refuse to give me a certificate anyway, no matter how not sick I am. All I have to do is say I'm nauseous, and there is no way they could test me, and no reason for them to care if I'm faking or not.

 

[Preacher ✝]

I don’t know why the Germans had to make things so complicated.

Making things unnecessarily complicated is the essence of being German. Look at the Tiger tank for a classic example.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

This is done to make doctors money.

 

[I Know 孤独のせい]

Yep that will get our economy going again. Brilliant 5D Chess move. But this nonsense has been going on for decades now, sell bullshit, the people eat it and repeat. All the actual fundamental problems plaguing the German economy and everything connected to it won't be addressed because that would require any amount of effort.

 

[Light blue notebook]

Thats what I want, someone with the sniffles to work with food products because the person couldn't get a parent doctors note.

 

[oldTireWater]

How is this a government decision and not a matter of individual employer policy? Is it all East Germany now?

 

[Otterly]

This is so dumb. I almost never take time off work but if I do I am literally too sick to drag myself out of bed or get to the doctor. Let people self certify for a few days.
Some countries have the first day unpaid. Which cuts down on random sickies.

 

[Lady Adjani]

15 sick days a year is kind of over the top to be honest.

Surprised this got as many negative reactions as it did.

Last time I was on sick leave was when I had pneumonia, 8 years ago. Meanwhile my coworkers called in sick every time they sneezed or were hungover.

If you need to take 15 days off work every single year you’re either deathly ill or a slacker.

 

[Loris Yeltsin]

I know this wasn't his decision alone, but I honestly never understood why Merz seems to have this weird idea in his calcified brain that German Germans are basically just white Indians when it comes to work, always slacking off and trying to cheat their way around having to lift a finger.

Can't wait for him to fuck off and get replaced by a nearly identical retard who also despises the people he was appointed to serve.

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

This is done to make doctors money.

No, all it will do is put pressure on an already overwhelmed health system. Or promote lazy and inadequate telehealth services.

Within a few months they will be SurprisedPikachu.jpg when there’s an article saying the elderly and sick can’t access healthcare adequately.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

No, all it will do is put pressure on an already overwhelmed health system. Or promote lazy and inadequate telehealth services.

Within a few months they will be SurprisedPikachu.jpg when there’s an article saying the elderly and sick can’t access healthcare adequately.

So Germans have to use the public health system for work-related health things? That sucks.
A former employer of mine stopped demanding first day sick notes because they were the ones paying for the doctors appointment.

 

[TooManyKittens]

Especially when there's generous carry-over involved. Starting the year with a couple weeks of PTO is nice with no accruing limit. Our boss encourages us to use our PTO whenever we need/want to with no reason needed. Only condition is first come first serve for a specific day off.

Sure but at least in tech usa, everyone now gives unlimited pto. Which means no debt on the corporate books and unless you are in a very blue state with workers rights demanding any minimums, you effectively get owed nothing. If your boss doesnt like you or the company culture is "work hard never play unpess you are c suite" you just dont get vacation.

Unlimited works worse than the old unlimited phone or internet plans of the 90s.

The german system beats that sadly by a long mile

 

[Rei is Shit.]

Oh look, another article where everyone jumps in to prove that their pet political issue is the real reason something like this is happening.

Do any of them know that Germany has one of the shortest working weeks of any developed nation?

 

[Jean ValJean]

To everyone in the USA that is advocating for socialized medicine, this is what you have to look forward to. Be careful what you wish for.

 

[Curry Teafag]

Do any of them know that Germany has one of the shortest working weeks of any developed nation?

Not really. 38 to 40 hours are the standard for full-time employees. France has a shorter 35-hour standard.

And BTW, whether this detail of the proposed reform will go through or not is not final yet. It is the single most opposed by a lot of different groups as it makes little sense if one of the stated aims of the reform is a reduction of bureaucracy.

To everyone in the USA that is advocating for socialized medicine, this is what you have to look forward to. Be careful what you wish for.

This has nothing to do with muh socialized medicine. You are absoluteley clueless and retarded.

 

[okyt]

That's grim, here in Sweden the first week is no questions asked regarding sick leave.
If you're still sick after one week you'll need a doctor's note.

 

[Standardized Profile]

Surprised this got as many negative reactions as it did.

Last time I was on sick leave was when I had pneumonia, 8 years ago. Meanwhile my coworkers called in sick every time they sneezed or were hungover.

If you need to take 15 days off work every single year you’re either deathly ill or a slacker.

Fifteen days makes sense if you can carry it over and you only use it for its intended purpose. When Bob who's been in accounting 20 years gets cancer, you want him to take as much time as he needs. But people who use their sick leave as soon as they get it because they need a "mental health day," they can get cancer and die.

 

[CaliforniaRaisin]

It's 4am in Dusseldorf. You are jolted awake by a searing pain in your chest. Your left arm feels numb, and your heart is racing. Your wife is woken up by your groans and immediately knows you're having a heart attack and dials 112, requesting an ambulance for a medical emergency.

The ambulance arrives as you're beginning to lose consciousness, your heart unable to regulate pressure to your brain properly. You slip away as you're being loaded in the back of the emergency vehicle and the last thing you hear is your wife's sobs.

You know nothing more. Ever. Why? Because the hospital you were taken to was overloaded by immigrants trying to get a sick certificate for a cold so they don't have to work that day. You expired laying on a gurney in a hallway while 6 bulb heads faked coughing ahead of you.

Well done, Germany. Well done.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I was gonna say how many germans are calling out sick to work when they're not. I was gonna say this is foreigners.

But then I remembered. Most migrants are probably on the government dole. So they're not working. At all.

Chancellor Merz is a nigger faggot. Who deserves to be bullied and given swirlies.

It's mainly women.

 

[JenkinsJinkies]

What a ridiculous waste of time and resources. Now people have to go to the doctor for a case of sniffles that will resolve itself in a day or two with no treatment whatsoever. Or what about a bad hangover or a wicked sunburn? Now you have to go to the doctor for that too, or go to work and be absolutely useless all day. Preposterous.

...you callout when you're sunburnt or hungover? Seems like this is by design to stop so many sick days from self inflicted "illnesses" that clear up in a day or a few hours.