"Future Year" Trends that piss you off

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Having to pay for everything with a chip in your palm.
Having to retinal scan before you ship a package.
Hover scooters blocking up traffic.
Having to trade with silver at the farmers markets.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

Being in an AI polycule only to find out they're all actually women trying to land a husband.

 

[Dysnomia]

Long lines at the suicide booth

Unable to pick up my designer baby at the lab due to self driving cars being hacked to only go in reverse by some dumb kid trying to be the next TikTube star. Now I have incurred a 200 credit late fee and lost a day on my free 30 day trade in guarantee.

Can't use toaster because my wifi is out. Can't call customer service because it's all AI now and the company is under a cyber attack. Gas stoves have been banned and the electrical grid is currently under a cyber attack as well. So I can't even use the stovetop to toast my "I Can't Believe It's Not A Bagel" bagel from Soylent Foods.

My identity got stolen by AI who sold it to another AI. No one is sure why this is happening as no humans appear to be involved in the transaction. But it's getting to be a bit of a problem. They really should look into this.

Due to water conservation measures we are now required to scan an implanted chip in order to turn on the faucet. I left mine running while answering the door to get my drone order from Pizza Bell. By the way, the food sucks even worse after the merger. Anyway, I have been fined 500 credits for wasting water and have to appear before a judge. I hope they don't send me to VR Jail again. The headaches and convulsions from last time still haven't went away. In fact they are getting worse. And my hair is falling out.

 

[Elf Supremacist]

Having my phone track my eye movement while I watch an ad, everytime I look away the ad pauses and doesn't play until I look at it again

 

[MrTroll]

The fact that soy-based soylent green doesn't taste like or have the same texture as the real thing.

 

[starborn427614]

Having to glim-glam when what I really want to do is bizzborg. Drives me up the florkin wall.

 

[TATE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!]

No more wypipo.

 

[Lowlife Adventures]

Fully automated luxury gay space communism isn't as fun as they said

 

[KISS]

I have to buy a premium subscription for my skin for it to be able to heal itself, otherwise every time I get a scratch I will have an open wound on my body for the rest of my life.

To fix the global warming issue, houses have become biodegradable. They slowly fall apart and decompose into the soil, forcing me to buy a new one every 2 years.

Food has been banned because it was deemed too barbaric. People now only eat airborne nutrient vapor that gets absorbed into their skin.

 

[Pruto]

for me its the legalization of child rape, guess I'm bigoted

 

[The Last Stand]

That all the Golden Age era of Hollywood actresses will pass away.

 

[Trump's Chosen]

The end of scarcity. How am I going to oppress people from the luxury of space communism?

 

[Geraldine]

Conservatives.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

i hate that skibidi toilet has been going on for forty years

 

[Troon_Patrol]

KYC for financial institutions are going to require a DNA sample, 3D facial scan and the background check level federal law enforcement receives.

Facial recognition software will know where you are at all times.

Eventually all DNA will be on file and accessible by all authorities.

The social credit score common in China (and that one episode of Black Mirror) will become exactly like the episode of Black Mirror in all western nations.

The 1st amendment will exist but the privacy existing for it will disappear if you are guilty of "wrongthink"

Let's just fucking face it, we are sliding into an An-Cap social system in the west already. Buy a fucking gun, .40S&W JHP moves at over 1000 feet per second law enforcement drives around 35 mph on average.

The middle class has been dying for at least 30-40 years and barely exist as recognizable within another 2 decades.

Governments are already waging war against XMR and privacy based crypto.

Anything feasibly outsourced will be.

Private land/home ownership or anything where you don't share a wall will be non existent inside cities.

 

[Easterling]

The state enforced homosexuality is pretty tiresome

 

[The Lawgiver]

I FINALLY GOT A JOB, BUT THE COMPANY PUT ME IN A FUCKING ROBOT BODY WITHOUT MY CONSENT AND NOW I DON'T LEGALLY QUALIFY AS HUMAN ANYMORE.

THE CHEAP FUCKING BASTARDS MADE IT ONLY FOUR FEET TALL TO MAKEIT "MORE ENDEARING" TO THE CONSUMER BASE'S EYES OR SOME SHIT BUT I KNOW IT'S TO SAVE MONEY ON METAL FOR THE LEGS.

DO NOT SIGN ANY PAPERWORK FOR [NAME REDACTED DUE TO CONTENT POLICY]. THEY WILL LITERALLY FUCKING TRAP YOUR BRAIN YOU IN A GOD DAMN MANLET ROBOT.

 

[Toyota Hilux]

I hate it when "suicide" is replaced with "Kiwifarms".

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Protons decaying and/or matter turning into iron* sorta sucks.

* (via radioactive decay and/or quantum tunneling)

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Why don't we have access to reliable biohacking yet? All we've got is back alley shit everyone's going to.