Fucking Wizards

[mr.moon1488]

Is the whole thing about not having sex past a certain age giving you magical powers actually true? I mean think about it, a bunch of fat sexless faggots are actually being treated like a serious threat to the US and UK.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I imagine fucking wizards would be a crapshoot since you don't know what kind of sleeping spells (a.k.a. roofies) they'd have cast on you before a dick magically appears inside you.

 

[mr.moon1488]

I imagine fucking wizards would be a crapshoot since you don't know what kind of sleeping spells (a.k.a. roofies) they'd have cast on you before a dick magically appears inside you.

But wouldn't they lose their powers then?

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

*puts on wizard hat and cap*

You ready to cyber?

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

I got Bigby's Grasping Hand, but only as self-cast.

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

I agree, wizards fucking suck. Always throwing fireballs at me and raiding my garden for alchemical reagents. Bastards.

 

[Flip: Draw 2]

>hit 30 with magic wand intact
>get powers
>conjure a succubus
>finally "cast a spell" in her
>lose powers by no longer being celibate
>get cursed by succubus now that you can't use a counter-curse
>she makes you forget you had powers and worse, that you ever had sex
>perpetuate the myth that being a 30 year old virgin doesn't give you powers
Many such cases.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

But wouldn't they lose their powers then?

Never said it was the wizard's own dick that would appear inside you, just a dick.

 

[Red Hood]

Around age 30 is when those with Innsmouth blood would start to shift toward full deep one, so...maybe?

 

[Complete Reprobate]

What if you're a fuck wizard?

 

[Internet Explorer]

After hitting middle age not too long ago, I can confirm that you do indeed receive a complimentary magus robe (adorned with stars and moons), and are fully inducted into the inner sanctum of arcane sex magick.

Spoiler

Actually no. You just get old and fat.

 

[ReturnedHermit]

If such an epigenetic transformation were possible we would have harnessed it in the same way we have harnessed childhood trauma and sexual abuse to create better slave-consumers. This is probably a corruption of a more true story where a sexually desirable man chooses a life of discipline and piety thereby becoming phenomenally useful to others. A person of low status who has already been pre-selected for genetic deletion has nothing to gain from abstention, and is already expected to trade a life of selfless sacrifice for their continued survival making it no longer selfless or even a sacrifice.

 

[Lathe]

I can say from experience that my lack of nut has gifted me with the power of flight but only until I hit the pavement.

 

[totallyrandomusername]

>hit 30 with magic wand intact
>get powers
>lose powers by no longer being celibate
Many such cases.

Which series is this from?

 

[Lemmingwise]

>hit 30 with magic wand intact
>get powers
>conjure a succubus
>finally "cast a spell" in her
>lose powers by no longer being celibate
>get cursed by succubus now that you can't use a counter-curse
>she makes you forget you had powers and worse, that you ever had sex
>perpetuate the myth that being a 30 year old virgin doesn't give you powers
Many such cases.

Lmao this happened to a friend of mine, more or less. Virgin till 32. Had a terrible girl in their dnd group. She worked as a lawyer for the state trying to get rapists free on technicalities and said she often had to lie or fabricate evidence to get there. She apparently was also a bore to play with, but had been brought along by the dms girlfriend as her roommate.

When they worked on trying to get rid off her, she seduced him so she could remain in the dnd party because she didn't have any friends.

I felt so happy and bad for him at the same time; he was so in love and it was going to end so badly.

 

[Dom Cruise]

A uh, friend of mine really wants to know about this.

 

[Lemmingwise]

I mean think about it, a bunch of fat sexless faggots are actually being treated like a serious threat to the US and UK.

Incel is just the best insult they have to counter "you will never be a woman". This shit isn't a serious threat. Death counts don't even begin to come close to muslim inflicted deaths in the west and there are other groups responsible for more than that to begin with.

I mean gamergate is still treated in media as a serious threat from time to time.

It's like homophobia as a reframe of homodisgust. Incel is a reframe of "oh we took away your job, reputation and everything else, but now you're a lose so you deserve it" and alternatively "oh so you don't have sex everytime you have the chance, must be because you can't get it" and altenatively "oh you've been facing sex discrimination your entire life, but we'll shit on you so you shut up about how unfair it is while we complain about how oppressed women are".

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

>hit 30 with magic wand intact
>get powers
>conjure a succubus
>finally "cast a spell" in her
>lose powers by no longer being celibate
>get cursed by succubus now that you can't use a counter-curse
>she makes you forget you had powers and worse, that you ever had sex
>perpetuate the myth that being a 30 year old virgin doesn't give you powers
Many such cases.

That's pretty creative...

 

[feedtheoctopus]

If my lame ass can get laid you guys must be really gross

 

[L50LasPak]