Up until about a year ago I would say I was a dang dirty homo, but recent events have changed that somewhat.
I can't say exactly at what point I knew, as my memory's appalling. I totally aware of my sexuality by the time I was in secondary school though (~11 years old).
It was bizarre actually. Basically put there were two secondary/high-schools in the area. I moved and went to the school about 5 miles away, none of my friends did (I'm not exaggerating. 5 out of 300 kids went to this school from my primary school). I obviously kept in contact with them, and a fad went through their school of "faux lesbianism". All the girls went lesbian to be cool. Being gay wasn't a big deal to them, they just got over it and whatever.
I wish I went to that school. By the end of school there were 3 other non-straight girls. The other girls were a bit... Apprehensive of us due to the stupid logic "oh they're gay so they must list over me every time they talk to me." Didnt help that all of us a bit psychotic
.
But I kept my sexuality to myself for 2 years, until I got a girlfriend at 13 and everyone made a huge deal of it. We had teachers lecture us about it and it was just uncomfortable in school. Not that we cared, my first ex was a huge attention whore and a shit stirrer so we were overly affectionate in public as a "fuck you."
Throughout school I just didnt have any interest in men, which even the bisexuals found weird
. Obviously, I could see if someone was appealing or attractive but I wouldn't be attracted to him. It sounds really pathetic and weird, but up until that point the only guy I'd legitimately found attractive is Hugh Laurie
.
I was perfectly comfortable in my sexuality until a went to a party in college and tried MDMA for the first time. It was sweet, I met my boyfriend there. We were all way chilling on the floor listening to music and cuddling and stuff, and I start cuddling up with this guy. I didnt realise at the time but apparently everyone was just whispering about it going "what? I thought she was gay?"
Then my friend took me into another room and was like "do you have any idea what you're doing?" I didnt, I was wasted
. Then we went back to his and I've been there ever since. Like 10 months now I think.
He's the sort of person to mention "fate" a lot, but like ironically. Basically trying to pretend he doesn't believe it because I take the piss. Fate is a stupid concept. But he mentions a lot that we're both exceptions for each other, I'm far too young for him (17 and 24 respectively) and he's the wrong gender for me
. I still don't really find men attractive, but the boyfriend's appearance is weird and alien and I love it
.
P
