Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?


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Chris has always fake-cried before, but something about that latest crocodile tears video and the one in which he speaks rapidly....
I think idea guy(s?) 2.0 convinced him to do them in this way, or something. Because something is off about him in these videos.
 
Anything else today? Jeez, him and Barb are, realistically, going to probably flee in a few days.

The last thing Chris has ever wanted to see is an ugly JERK male with like 50lbs of muscle holding a steel baseball bat threatening to swing at the old, dilapidated house for the 10 Grand they own the loan shark.
 
On one hand, banks can't start giving a fuck about sob stories. Shit just doesn't work that way. The house is doomed.

On the other hand, Chris and Barb qualify for section 8 housing. This isn't the Ukraine, we have programs set up so that our streets aren't lined with the corpses of the elderly. They'll have to move to a slightly more undesirable part of Virginia, and sadly, likely lose their pets.
 
On one hand, banks can't start giving a fuck about sob stories. Shit just doesn't work that way. The house is doomed.

On the other hand, Chris and Barb qualify for section 8 housing. This isn't the Ukraine, we have programs set up so that our streets aren't lined with the corpses of the elderly. They'll have to move to a slightly more undesirable part of Virginia, and sadly, likely lose their pets.
From royalty to section 8, I think most everyone will feel a bit better about Chris having some humble pie. With out Barb I dunno if he could hack section 8 himself.

It's almost impossible to get tard bux in regards to debts (only gov can yank/cut for shit you owe them) But we know tug boat ain't big, and they are only getting worse with 2 idiots, Chris on his lonesome it'll be really nasty and can't rule out a group home. IF they can get him into one or he's willing to go.
 
Fuck, and I was looking forward to the Homeless Saga.
Section 8 saga will be waaaaay more interesting. Chris and Barb in a low income apartment complex? Forced to interact with "common" people? Lets just that it's a good thing that Chris took Spanish in high school.

Oh not to mention some jerk building superintendent poking around when ever they want, making sure they don't shit the place up.
 
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Section 8 saga will be waaaaay more interesting. Chris and Barb in a low income apartment complex? Forced to interact with "common" people?

Exactly that. It would be the "Great Tenant Saga™", at last.
Yeah, just put them in a brick silo along with drug peddlers and some alcoholic army veterans.
That'll be fun!
 
Exactly that. It would be the "Great Tenant Saga™", at last.
Yeah, just put them in a brick silo along with drug peddlers and some alcoholic army veterans.
That'll be fun!
Well certainly more fun than blurry pictures of Chris picking through the dumpster behind Applebee's
 
I cast my vote in agreement regarding section 8; I think the change in lifestyle (private home, no mom) would produce some great content, but I think it also runs the risk of drying up OPL once and for all - If he finds himself surviving relatively comfortably on the tugboat and section 8, he might not see the point of being a eCeleb. Right now I feel like Chris would prefer if he wasn't famous, but it's paying the bills. If state takes care of the bills, would Chris still want to produce content, or will he be satisfied living out the rest of his life with lego and sonichu head-mates.


Is there some context I need for this to make sense? Or is the context just :autism:?
 
Exactly that. It would be the "Great Tenant Saga™", at last.
Yeah, just put them in a brick silo along with drug peddlers and some alcoholic army veterans.
That'll be fun!

What would make it more interesting is most public housing takes 25-27% of your income. So all these donations Chris gets (the tugboat too), no matter how much, he has to pay that percentage. Say he mooches 3-4k like he did last month? Hell of a lot more than a set rate mortgage... And if the income isn't reported and it's found out, that's back rent and then potentially fraud.

Chris would definitely tardrage over that.
 
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