Final Fantasy XIV - Kiwi Free Company

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

Given the utter crash in competence on Crystal.. yeah nah. It's impressive how there's actually a group of players that are objectively worse in every regard.

Part of the reason it's so bad is that if Crystal currently has something in abundance over the others that relates to retardation, it's enablers. Take my example of the red mage who insists that they can't verraise on a dualcast: you generally fix that up by telling them that yes, your job can do that. Maybe you even point out that for single-target, you start with the neutral spell and then dc the aspected one, but for multi-target it's the inverse. Or, god forbid, you tell someone that cure i is a trap.

Cue handmaidens fucking tripping over themselves to scream about how it doesn't matter, telling someone how to play is against the tos, toxic toxic toxic toxic, etc. Asinine amounts of white-knighting in the DF, always from a zero-damage healer prone to standing in very obvious AoEs or a no-cooldowns tank that adores single-pulling.

I'm sure part of the reason is that the good players are all staying away from the DF, yeah. No need for tomestones, it's a content lull, and the new playerbase -is- cumbersome to spoon-feed. It isn't hard to just ignore some loser screaming at you while you try to dole out basic tips on how to not drool on the keyboard, but it's the kind of hassle that makes you just not want to bother. As a result, the new crop is being forced to grow twisted roots by the swill at the bottom of the bottle.

 

[JektheDumbass]

I've finally made it to Shadowbringers and lost my sprout icon. It will be missed.



You sadden this Lalafell player.

They're not wrong though

-lala DRK

 

[M3xus]

You've clearly never met or seen Hrothgar players. I don't even think they play the game, I think they just jerk off each other off and do gay shit while sexually harassing random men who happen to play hrothgar while dressing up in the scantiest clothing they possibly can. Fuck, I don't even think anyone who plays that race is even straight.

I want to be offended, but I can count the number of Hrothgar players I know that don't use the game for gay shit on one hand. I don't go to Limsa if I can help it.

-Hrothgar PLD

 

[Zeke Von Genbu]

Part of the reason it's so bad is that if Crystal currently has something in abundance over the others that relates to retardation, it's enablers. Take my example of the red mage who insists that they can't verraise on a dualcast: you generally fix that up by telling them that yes, your job can do that. Maybe you even point out that for single-target, you start with the neutral spell and then dc the aspected one, but for multi-target it's the inverse. Or, god forbid, you tell someone that cure i is a trap.

Cue handmaidens fucking tripping over themselves to scream about how it doesn't matter, telling someone how to play is against the tos, toxic toxic toxic toxic, etc. Asinine amounts of white-knighting in the DF, always from a zero-damage healer prone to standing in very obvious AoEs or a no-cooldowns tank that adores single-pulling.

I'm sure part of the reason is that the good players are all staying away from the DF, yeah. No need for tomestones, it's a content lull, and the new playerbase -is- cumbersome to spoon-feed. It isn't hard to just ignore some loser screaming at you while you try to dole out basic tips on how to not drool on the keyboard, but it's the kind of hassle that makes you just not want to bother. As a result, the new crop is being forced to grow twisted roots by the swill at the bottom of the bottle.

I'm not on Crystal, I've been playing since 2.0's release so Crystal wasn't even a data center yet, but I've had this white knight "Its just a GAAAAAAME" shit happen for years. I used to be quite vocal about pointing errors out "tank you don't need to run a bunch of extra miles to a wall when no mobs exist, you're griefing your melee by doing this." or "Tank I need you to use your cooldowns if you're going to pull a million mobs, I am not merely a curebot" or my classic "Hey retarded diva tank you aren't the sole arbiter of the entire world just because you have a blue badge, I'm healing you so you pulling half the dungeon is more my problem then yours stop playing like a pussy". I would openly argue with retarded tanks all the time who thought they could bully dps because they have a blue dps badge on them, but I'm just so over this swill about how playing properly doesn't matter because it is just a video game or how people just suck a shitty tank's dick because their dps mains who are afraid of long queue times.

I used to even be a mentor when the system was brand new, I ditched it after less than a week because people kept kicking me (I think I got kicked every day at least once) because I would give new players practical raid advice or explain how good their job was at endgame. A minute later some drooling mongrel proceeds to get into arguments with me about how "that's not what the Novice Network is for, only answer basic questions like how to get a chocobo". I had a friend who was in their with me and whenever I would get kicked people would apparently cheer and get hyped because I was oh so toxic. Yet this same NN would also get into 30 minute mathematical debates about if Intelligence improved the damage of Dark Knight's spells...because this matters for some reason.

I nowadays just try to take new people I see who have desire to play well, especially this recent WoW exodus, under my wing. I friend them and try to talk to them whenever I see them and make sure they aren't lost on anything. This has recently lead to me hearing some really stupid advice from "mentors" like how the aggro meter is a good indication of how good someone's damage is, which if you've ever actually looked at FFlogs or ACT you know that is a worthless metric.

 

[ZMOT]

You sadden this Lalafell player.

the important distinction is male or female tho.
most femlalas I met were pretty based because they gave no fucks, compared the LE IRONIC male lalas who still can't handle playing an adorable potato.

also femlalas seem to have the best clear ratio (or at least had it back then).

I used to even be a mentor when the system was brand new, I ditched it after less than a week because people kept kicking me (I think I got kicked every day at least once) because I would give new players practical raid advice or explain how good their job was at endgame. A minute later some drooling mongrel proceeds to get into arguments with me about how "that's not what the Novice Network is for, only answer basic questions like how to get a chocobo". I had a friend who was in their with me and whenever I would get kicked people would apparently cheer and get hyped because I was oh so toxic. Yet this same NN would also get into 30 minute mathematical debates about if Intelligence improved the damage of Dark Knight's spells...because this matters for some reason.

NN wildy seem to differ between shards, I got lucky that back then that the shard some friends started playing on was one of the small ones so less bullshit to deal with.

 

[Focken Kiwi]

the important distinction is male or female tho.
most femlalas I met were pretty based because they gave no fucks, compared the LE IRONIC male lalas who still can't handle playing an adorable potato.

also femlalas seem to have the best clear ratio (or at least had it back then).

Male but I have several reasons for playing one, one of them even gameplay related.

Spoiler

1. They're adorable and I can handle adorable.

2. I played a fury warrior gnome in World of Warcraft and a small guy swinging around comically large weapons for his size always makes me jovial. The same can be applicable to Lalafells.

3. I just like the symbology in being a tiny guy in a new and unfamiliar world.

4. The small character model makes it much easier to tell where I'm standing in regards to AoE attacks and I have that height meter pressed to the floor.

I'm probably going to use that free fantasia potion the game tossed me later on though to swap to a male Viera in Endwalker. Final Fantasy 12 is by far my favorite game in the series and I'd love to play as a bunny boy from the Golmore Jungle.

 

[Gravemind]

Male but I have several reasons for playing one, one of them even gameplay related.

Spoiler

1. They're adorable and I can handle adorable.

2. I played a fury warrior gnome in World of Warcraft and a small guy swinging around comically large weapons for his size always makes me jovial. The same can be applicable to Lalafells.

3. I just like the symbology in being a tiny guy in a new and unfamiliar world.

4. The small character model makes it much easier to tell where I'm standing in regards to AoE attacks and I have that height meter pressed to the floor.

I'm probably going to use that free fantasia potion the game tossed me later on though to swap to a male Viera in Endwalker. Final Fantasy 12 is by far my favorite game in the series and I'd love to play as a bunny boy from the Golmore Jungle.

Absolutely degenerate in every fashion.

 

[Focken Kiwi]

Ff14 has had many predictable story moments and I want to practice my foresight a bit.

Spoiler: Some story spoilers for anyone not at Shadowbringers

So I've just arrived at Eulmore and met Dulia Chai who called for a painter. Alphinaud has shown proficiency in drawing portraits in Kagane. My prediction? Based Alphinaud will paint a portrait of Dulia and Chai Nuzz depicting just how fat she is infuriating her and ultimately leading to a temporary expulsion from Eulmore forcing him to return to the Crystarium and reunite with his sister for a time.

Anything other than this scenario would genuinely surprise me.

Edit: I was off and am happier for the ending of the little scenario. I still got the laugh I expected at the end.

 

[Rubedo]

I want to practice my foresight a bit.

Spoiler: Shadowbringers Story Spoilers

Not a bad guess, but the temporary expulsion is off. It will involve Lord Fat Fuck, Leader of Men instead of Chai Nuzz and Dulia but those two will be involved later on.

Also whoever said Ravana and Susano-O is a spout blender wasn't kidding. Literally had to hijack the MT spot after a spout Paladin lead Ravana into wiping out half the party. I even had to call out mechanics and explain the add phrase hard, and you know how many comms those mouth breathers gave? One... Just fucking one. Next time, I'm gonna let them die multiple times, say nothing, then quit while explaining how much they suck.

 

[CptnSnshn]

You're all wrong, Catboys (And Bunny boys they're the same fuckin' thing) Are ether sexually frustrated women or UwU am so swoooft an cyoot Softboi faggots who use that shit to hide the fact they're the scum of the earth and would shank you if it got them even the smallest amount of social clout.

 

[Kane Lives]

Spoiler: Shadowbringers Story Spoilers

Not a bad guess, but the temporary expulsion is off. It will involve Lord Fat Fuck, Leader of Men instead of Chai Nuzz and Dulia but those two will be involved later on.

Also whoever said Ravana and Susano-O is a spout blender wasn't kidding. Literally had to hijack the MT spot after a spout Paladin lead Ravana into wiping out half the party. I even had to call out mechanics and explain the add phrase hard, and you know how many comms those mouth breathers gave? One... Just fucking one. Next time, I'm gonna let them die multiple times, say nothing, then quit while explaining how much they suck.

I'm glad they both exist as a casual filter tbh. Titania in ShB pretty much fills the same role. That said ShB dungeons are also more mechanic heavy in general and I can see even the final dungeon boss of Holminster Switch or any of the Dohn Mehg's boss to wipe retards easily.

 

[Gravemind]

You're all wrong, Catboys (And Bunny boys they're the same fuckin' thing) Are ether sexually frustrated women or UwU am so swoooft an cyoot Softboi faggots who use that shit to hide the fact they're the scum of the earth and would shank you if it got them even the smallest amount of social clout.

It's not that we're wrong. You're just also right.

Also whoever said Ravana and Susano-O is a spout blender wasn't kidding. Literally had to hijack the MT spot after a spout Paladin lead Ravana into wiping out half the party. I even had to call out mechanics and explain the add phrase hard, and you know how many comms those mouth breathers gave? One... Just fucking one. Next time, I'm gonna let them die multiple times, say nothing, then quit while explaining how much they suck.

Ravana's been a new player blender since Heavensward early access. I usually make a game out of seeing if the other Tank wants to fight me for aggro despite facing towards the party, and/or seeing how many people die to mechanics that you can safely fuck up a good number of times.

I'm glad they both exist as a casual filter tbh. Titania in ShB pretty much fills the same role. That said ShB dungeons are also more mechanic heavy in general and I can see even the final dungeon boss of Holminster Switch or any of the Dohn Mehg's boss to wipe retards easily.

Man, just the trash mobs in Holminster can be enough to filter stupid asses even if they're decked out in full Augmented Scaevan, because those mobs hit pretty fucking hard while being fairly spongy.

 

[Agarathium1066]

You're all wrong, Catboys (And Bunny boys they're the same fuckin' thing) Are ether sexually frustrated women or UwU am so swoooft an cyoot Softboi faggots who use that shit to hide the fact they're the scum of the earth and would shank you if it got them even the smallest amount of social clout.

It's about half that and the other half is aggressively horny gay dudes who are into twinkier bodies. The former usually plays up the 'soft boy' angle whereas the latter is just some dude in leather who is horny on main.

 

[Peasant]

In fact, a friend and I were just talking about that, and to reiterate something I said to them: Male Roes were popular, but then "Roegadyn but Furry™" got released as a playable race, and more than half of the playerbase immediately outed themselves as closeted furries who wanted the knot.

Good. There needs to be at least one chad race in this den of pathetic coomers.

 

[Sunflower Samurai]

final dungeon boss of Holminster Switch

Can confirm, wiped to final boss like 6 times with an all sprout party because i was WAR and WHM died from the punches, then the fucking fetters, and like 2 times to the final run around

 

[CptnSnshn]

https://twitter.com/SuperLouis_64/status/1429838089191448580

My king I... I kneel.

 

[Smug Chuckler]

How can you be a sprout at 70+? Boosted maybe?

 

[Sunflower Samurai]

How can you be a sprout at 70+? Boosted maybe?

Boosted or carried, mostly, ive seen a recent influx of WoW refugees or newfags choosing to boost

 

[Gravemind]

How can you be a sprout at 70+? Boosted maybe?

Yes, since the status is meant to go away after 7 days' worth of total playtime and upon completion of "A Requiem for Heroes".

If you see any sprouts in Shadowbringers, chances are very likely that they boosted.

 

[Smug Chuckler]

Yeah, I thought that was weird since I've just levelled an alt to ShB, and the icon disappeared.