Fat people stories

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melty

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kiwifarms.net
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10 de Oct, 2014
We've all encountered them. Grabbing the last ten chicken wings at the buffet, squashing against you on the airplane, shoveling cake in their mouths while claiming they can't lose weight because of "genetics". What are your best fat people stories?
 
One time while I was in Walmart I saw a fatty fat fat in a motorized shopping cart. "You're depriving an actual differently-abled person with a condition they can't help from using that cart because you chose to be fat, you ableist scum," I told her.

She tried to stand up and angrily smother me with her fat folds but she had a heart attack and died instead because she was so old and fat. Then Albert Einstein led the other shoppers in a round of applause.
 
One time at Barnes and Nobel, there was this really fat bitch who fucking got stuck in the doorway. I'm not fucking kidding, one of the doors was jammed, so instead of trying to go through the other set of doors she tried to shove her way through the jammed one. She got stuck and started bitching about how the store was oppressing her, and how we were all terrible person. The store manager had to call the fucking fire department to get her out, and then she went on a huge bitchy rant about how she was going to sue the store.
I finally had enough and beat her to death with a copy of One Thousand Health and Cheap Recipes.
And everyone started clapping and the manager gave me a big discount on the book I came in to purchase.
And that book was Einstein's Foundations of General Theory of Relativity.
 
The year was 2010. I was on a flight from the shithole nowhere town in Texas I lived in growing up to Dallas on a tiny commuter jet. My mom and brother were on the flight too, but we booked our flight late so we were sitting apart. I was just chillin' when the guy who had the seat next to me showed up. He could barely fit his massive girth through the aisle, and his titanic jiggling ass could fill at least three of the tiny seats on the plane. This is all pretty standard stuff for a fat guy plane story so far, but what happened next was bizarre. He sat down next to me, smashing me against the interior of the fuselage. I felt like I was in an olive oil press, and he probably wasn't too comfortable either. In plain view he pulled a pill bottle out of his messenger bag and swallowed an entire xanax bar, presumably to counter his anxiety regarding air travel. Next, he retrieved a family size bag of cheetos which he had somehow bought in the airport out of the same bag and began eating them. He didn't stop until half an hour later when we were up in the air and he had finished the bag. He promptly fell into a deeply unconscious state. The flight was only about and hour and a half long, and when we landed at DFW he was still out cold. His wife was sitting in the row behind me, and my mom and brother were near the very front of the plane. His wife had to rouse him from his benzodiazepine-induced Snorlax-esque slumber by vigorously shaking him and attempting to lift him out of his seat. He regained partial consciousness and stood up abruptly, conking his corpulent bald head on the luggage compartment, yelling out "FUCK!" in a groggy but exceptionally loud voice. Everyone on the plane was staring. His wife said frankly to me "he gets nervous on planes." I didn't know how to respond to this, because that's not really a valid justification for taking a high dose of xanax, making an ass out of yourself in front of a planeload of people, and nearly squashing an innocent weeaboo teenager to death.
 
:fit:izen writes a fat person story.png
 
melty dijo:
We've all encountered them. Grabbing the last ten chicken wings at the buffet, squashing against you on the airplane, shoveling cake in their mouths while claiming they can't lose weight because of "genetics". What are your best fat people stories?
Presiona para expandir...

I once saw this fat motherfucker, and then he fell over. He broke his arm or something. Hilarious.
 
I was nailing this chick, right? Normally I don't mess around with girls over 450 pounds but I had been huffing starter fluid all day so I was like fuck it.

This chick probably weighed 700 pounds at the very least probably more.

So I'm fucking her and I'm not even sure if I'm in her pussy or a fat fold but I was way too high to care so I just kept going. All of a sudden I felt myself getting sucked inside her. I tried to pull out but the force of her 900 pounds was pulling me into her.

I grabbed my knife and started stabbing her but the blubber was too thick and I couldn't do any actual damage. I kept getting sucked in further and further. My dick is about 17 inches and it was already 3/4 of the way in her.

I was getting pretty desperate when I thought of a great idea. She was so fat that her 1200 pound forehead fat covered her eyes rendering her blind, so I grabbed a DVD case and threw it across the room then screamed "It's a pizza!!"

The house started to shake as she shifted her 1500 pound body to move in the direction of the "pizza" and she finally realised by dick. Finally free, I ran over and grabbed my gun, emptying the entire mag into the beast's skull.

The girl I was fucking? Albert Einstein's slut mom.
 
Man just today I woke up and went to the bathroom to get read for my day/take a wicked piss, and right when I got inside I couldn't believe it. There was some fat fuck just standing inside of my mirror looking back at me and taking up space. Can you believe this shit?
 
When I was in high school the drivers ed teacher was really fat (like 500 pounds) and really old and he could barely walk and my most vivid memory of high school is just seeing him trying to waddle up the stairs and and getting out of breath after like 2 steps. All I could think about for the rest of the year was how he could even manage to fit into the car and I felt really grateful that I never took that class. He must've blocked the entire windshield whenever those poor students had to drive with him. He also lived in Florida for half the year so I'm not sure why the school even let him teach
 
One time when working at a hotel, I got called to help a "guest" with a wheel chair escort. They're usually old ladies that need a chair, but this was a big fat middle aged bitch whose ass was wider than the wheel chair. She took one look at the chair and said "yeah that's not gonna work" all sarcastically like I had done something wrong. I apologized for not being able to accommodate her size and she stood up and walked to her room just fine.

I went for a nice jog that evening.
 
When I was 10 I was ran over by a fat guy on a scooter while I was going home on the town's bike path. I wasn't severely hurt but I cried getting up and yelled to him to say sorry. He finally looked back and turned his scooter back and smacked me. My mother didn't believe me.
 
I was brushing my teeth this morning and saw my reflection in the mirror. I need to get rid of that thing so I can enjoy my chicken wings in peace...
 
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