Fantasy Island (2020)

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• Fantasy Island for men; A fantasy land featuring rape, murder, fornication, violence and shit getting blown up.

Rape? Murder? Violence? My fantasy would simply be to have sex with a super model caliber woman, I guess I'm pretty vanilla.

We already had a movie version of Fantasy Island

It was called Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island...why bother making another one after that?

Heh, I forgot about that.

I thought it was pretty good. It was a masterpiece compared to today's Woke-tertainment. They had an episode where the client is a woman who wants to be a combat soldier. Mr. Rourke (Malcolm) sticks her into an army filled with other women and the client objects, saying she wants to be fighting with men. Malcolm blows her off and the client is stuck in the all-girl army. The client eventually bonds with her fellow female soldiers, and all of them get bumped off by the enemy, one by one, until the client herself gets killed during a heroic action. We then find out that the client was dying of cancer, - she came to he island because she was a US soldier who wanted to experience real, meaningful combat and die a hero on the battlefield, instead of dying all weak and scrawny in a hospital bed. I can't imagine an episode like this getting made today. First thing, the client being forced to only fight with other women would be seen as sexist. Secondly, the client being forced to endure hardship while not being an invincible superwoman would also be seen as sexist. Thirdly, the client fighting in an alternate universe US Army for patriotic reasons would be seen as problematic, because patriotism is Right Wing and toxic.

Another episode I liked was one where a teen wants to be a famous football player. Mr, Rourke grants him his wish, but no sooner has the kid established his career than he gets a serious injury, has to leave football, and get a dead end job. When the kid complains, Mr, Rourke tells the kid some grim statistics about football injuries and how his dream of leaving a promising field of study and risking it all on being a football player is stupid. The kid agrees and leaves the island with a more realistic career path in mind.

The Mr. Rourke of the Malcolm McDowell series had an edge to him. He was a good guy, but not a nice guy, and he'd often lay into a client who was being stupid or selfish with their fantasies. (As I recall, the journey to the island was by invitation only, so that explains why there wasn't thousands of people showing up on the island wanting their waifus to become real or wanting to become the chainsaw spree killer from their favorite slasher movies.) Invitees to the island were chosen because they were most likely to be "helped" by the island's powers and consequently turned into improved human beings.

Sounds like there's potential in the premise to actually be pretty interesting then, shame they wasted it on this.

How would Mr Rourke twist my fantasy of simply wanting to have sex with a super model caliber woman, I wonder?

Seriously for the people complaining about the lack of dwarves, the sole reason is dwarves are expensive.

Back before visual effects took off, you had a ton of people in film who would specialize in very very very specific shit. A well known type was the guys who owned lifelike Gorilla Costumes. You could make a career just wearing a gorilla suit and show up in films and commercials. Now these people maintained and made their own suits so they eventually spread out into visual effects and props. But the suits were better than what the studios could make so if the person provided their own suit they would be hired. Essentially they were freelance puppeteers.

If you ever had childhood trauma about apes, it was probably one of these guys who scarred you for life. Tracy the Gorilla in the (not the Dank Akroyd) Ghost busters was one of these famous costumed gorilla men.

Midgets however stuck around untouched by the hand of progress. They can charge a premium if they're an especially aesthetic dwarf.

"especially aesthetic dwarf" would be a great band name.
 
Back before visual effects took off, you had a ton of people in film who would specialize in very very very specific shit. A well known type was the guys who owned lifelike Gorilla Costumes. You could make a career just wearing a gorilla suit and show up in films and commercials. Now these people maintained and made their own suits so they eventually spread out into visual effects and props. But the suits were better than what the studios could make so if the person provided their own suit they would be hired. Essentially they were freelance puppeteers.

Interesting! I assumed those were studio-owned suits, not handcrafted, personally owned fursuits!
 
If nothing else, props to the trailer for using Pino Donaggio's "Telescope" theme from the movie Body Double.
 
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