Family

  • 🔧 Site instability resolved. You can report double-posts and broken attachments. For bigger issues, use the Technical Grievances thread.
    🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Destacado
Gravityqueen4life

Gravityqueen4life

kiwifarms.net
Registrado
29 de Mayo, 2019
was cleaning my apartment and came across family photos from my childhood. saw pictures of people i have not seen or talked too in decades, picture of people i never got to really know or meet again. so many familiar faces yet i cant remember their names.

my family has always been torn up but it has gotten worse as time has gone, only got my mom and brothers left. do you guys still have contact with your extended family? is it worth even trying?
 
do you guys still have contact with your extended family? is it worth even trying?
Presiona para expandir...
If you want to, just reach out.

I personally don't, but that's a 100% because of me, it's complicated.

Even though I never followed through, I was happy to hear from them whenever they tried to reach out to me, I am sure it will be the same for them if you do.
 
I don't, and its hard to say exactly why. I'm very envious of big, tight families. It seems on both my mother's and father's sides, it was my grandparents holding everyone together. When they died, there was a dispersal. Also both of my parents were sort of black sheeps of their families.

I had this awesome vhs tape from the 90s, my grandparents 50th anniversary party. So many people there so young, many long dead people there. 5 or so years ago I had that digitally converted and uploaded it to Facebook. I tagged all of my family members that I could. I hoped it would spark some reconnect... but no, the reaction was only a few comments and a few likes, nothing changed. Nobody messaged me asking about it or thanking me. That was a major factor in me giving up both on Facebook and my extended family. A lot of people just don't care and are too wrapped up in their lives to think of you.
 
I kinda do and I kinda don't. We don't share any interests so I don't really know what to say them except for a basic "how are you". So it's always limited to happy birthdays and happy new year once or twice in a year. Still, I love them and will probably miss them when they are gone since most of them are older than me. As for the younger ones, when the grandparents and parents are gone we will be complete strangers. It's sad but that's how it will be.
 
All of my family are either dead, in prison indefinitely, or too fucked to associate with. My GF's family basically became my own and I'm closer to them than I ever was with any of mine.
 
I don't share any interests or views with any in my family, so it just feels so awkward it's painful to have anything to do with them.

Once, my aunt tried to get me into drinking with her and her girlfriends. I don't blame her for thinking I would say yes, as most fag are alcoholics. This was when I lived in a rural area, and she suffers from Stockholm syndrome. As she never leaves her man that is abusive to her, and dogs.

My family is full of issues and none want to do better themselves. It's off putting with that kind of low IQ, and that's why my sister especially don't like me. As I'm "Too arrogant". Fuck that shit, I'm perfectly fine with not being welcome.
Btw, she's in the Navy. Never met anyone in the higher ranks in the military that isn't full retard. She's with a man that's over 50, and she's 30. And he did cheat on his ex-wife to be with my sister.
 
Never met anyone on my father's side because his mother burnt all his stuff and disowned him in his 20's but I've had the chance to meet my mother's aunts and uncles while visiting Ireland as a kid, they're nice people but unfortunately because they were already old when I visited them they're likely dead now.
 
Yeah, they're generally great people.
I mean this is a massive 'your mileage may vary' kinda thing based on the other replies in the thread, damn.
 
My family on my dad's side are all dead.

My family on my mom's side "loves" me but I wish I didn't have to deal with them. They're all fat, former heavy smokers until it almost killed them, consumers, and woke conservatives. Extreme anger issues and think I owe them money for raising me.

What is a woke conservative? Never Trump RINOs who don't want to be racist, and still wear masks when they go out. Also think weed turns people into serial killers.
 
I’m kinda on the fence with my family right now yes they’re raised me and cared for me and I appreciate it but they also fucked me over many times and tried to manipulate me into doing things I’ve never wanted to do. Which is unfortunate since I’m still living with them. I’d say try to contact yours and see if amends can be made, if not then that’s your choice to make.
 
My dad is not in my life and he was an only child anyway, but my mom conversely has five other siblings who are all either mentally unstable, emotionally broken, or both, yet somehow we all (or realistically 80% of us) manage to make the annual family reunion every summer to celebrate my granny's birthday. She's gonna be 93 this year, but there's this looming sense of dread I feel where my mom and her siblings will stop talking to each other entirely once dear Granny kicks it, because it's become very evident to me that they all form cliques and keep secrets and hate each other like some dysfunctional noble family, or I guess more appropriately a Scottish clan...

My dude cousins are all living their own lives to varying degrees of happiness but are generally displeased with the state of the world and are fun to drink with for that reason. My girl cousins meanwhile (barring the one who married into a Pentacostalist cult and went off the grid into the Florida innawoods) are all living stereotypes of what you think liberal arts educated white women are like. I can have amicable conversations with both, but I don't think I'd really be torn up if I never saw most of them again. My extended family was atomized and spread out geographically long before the Internet became mainstream and I think social media only made it worse because now we all pretend to know what's going on in each others' lives. I don't think I ever really had a chance to form healthy relationships with these people in the first place.

Maybe it's because I come from a big family, but I find that you can't really give everyone love equally, and I think unconditional love just because someone is family is bullshit; it's why so many of my relatives are miserable.
 
I've never found contacting someone from the distant past, whether friends or family, to be a useful endeavor or go well.

A few years ago, I reconnected with some estranged family after cutting off contact with a certain other family member that they also hate. It was cathartic at first to share grievances, but ultimately ended up just being an annoyance. To me now, they are pretty much just strangers with a whole bunch of their own problems, and I don't want anything to do with it. I don't do any genealogy or DNA tests or anything like that purposely so I don't find out I have even more annoying relatives I have to avoid because there are enough of them already.

But hey, ymmv, it works out for some people.
 
Immediate family (my siblings, parents and my two nieces) are all I bother with. My uncles/aunts/cousins on my mom’s side are scumbags I want nothing to do with. My grandparents on both sides are dead. I haven’t seen my uncle on my dad’s side for over 25 years.

Even immediate family is a bit iffy at times. Parents divorced when I was 10, mom still hates my dad and doesn’t like that I talk to him, dad is a good guy but pretty hardcore, borderline fundie religious and that shit gets really old really fast. Get along pretty good with one brother, the other brother fried his brain with drugs and doesn’t really talk to anyone, get along with my sister as long as we don’t bring up politics
 
I only bother with family who bother with me. At some point after years and years I realized I put in all the effort with some/most family members and stopped doing so…and that was the end of those relationships because they didn’t give a damn.

I’m pretty much left with just an handful of immediate family members and that’s fine by me, they’re the only ones who really matter anyway and while they can even be trying at times, at least we can rely on each other when it’s important.

I will say I have zero patience for family reunions. Absolute torture having to interact with people I’ve not seen in decades, but who want to play the part for a few hours.
 
Some Badger dijo:
She's gonna be 93 this year, but there's this looming sense of dread I feel where my mom and her siblings will stop talking to each other entirely once dear Granny kicks it, because it's become very evident to me that they all form cliques and keep secrets and hate each other like some dysfunctional noble family, or I guess more appropriately a Scottish clan...
Presiona para expandir...
Last year my nan on my mother's side died and what you fear happened. Almost straight away they took sides on what to do with stuff that had no monetry value just to spite each other, it was deeply upsetting for my mother and there wasn't much I could do beyond going and harrassing a bunch of OAPs. I really hope you don't have to suffer the same crap.
 
Destacado
Debes iniciar sesión o registrarte para responder aquí.
Atrás
Top Abajo