He decorates himself with the trappings of imagined authorities. As a child he saw police officers, fire fighters, perimedics and preachers as being people with actual respect and authority. Obviously no one in their right mind will ever let him do any of these things. So all his life he's had to get a bunch of pretend badges. Even when daddy said no mommy would still get them out of the gumball machine for him. Like a big boy! Even when the police said that he was too dumb to be a real deputy he still got himself a real radio patrol, he sure did! Like a big boy! And even though no actual Christian church would ordain him, not any pentecostal or evangelical or any other branch he claims to be affiliated with, that's fine and dandy. He's a Big Boy! He'll just go sign up with the Universalist Unitarians!!!! He might want to check out how the people who ordained him feel about those pesky gays. He doesn't have the correct stone ratio.