Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

she was never cute

She was cute when she was the prototype for Ellie in Last of Us, aka when she was like 14 and "cute", the term not being used as a placeholder for "not beautiful but i'd still fuck her". Cute like a puppy dog. Cute like the girl next door when you were both 14 and you maybe wanted to ask her out to the junior high dance.

It's a shame what mental illness did to her.

 

[Bookwork]

Damn, makin deez movies is hard enough for us to havta bust Harvey outta jail cuz he knows where the moneys are buried in NYC.

HUSH HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE with Ellen as Dr Bayliss, Jake Alley as Charlotte, and Veronica Ivy as Miriam. Oh dear, Ellen can hardly hold her own here cuz the wammins is stealing da show. Didn't happen in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, did it? Onward!​

​

ROCKY HORROR SHOW with Ellen as Dr Frankenfurter, Jonathan Yaniv as Janet, and Ellen also as Barry Bostwick and Peter Hinwood because we got no budget and we had to rent a motorcycle.​

​

CASABLANCA with Ellen as Rick Blaine, Dylan Mulvaney as Ilsa Lund, and our own Joshua Conner Moon as Capt Louis Renault ("I am shocked. Shocked").​

Don't be joking about this, people. This is about making our cultural heritage more honest AND relevant!

 

[Dr. Butt]

Oh fuck me, I see Reservoir Dogs with pooners, the whole cast.

we gotta make it happen !

Ellen Page in Harvey Keitel role

Noah from the Jazz/Gallagher rat king can be Tim Roth.

Edit: Page has anorexia hair in every photo of her taken since 2001. It's like the Cryptkeeper's hair. She's also got the mouth line that bulimics have in @VargReallyDidNothingWrong 's picture. Child actor just shouldn't be a job someone can have.

 

[Bookwork]

Noah from the Jazz/Gallagher rat king can be Tim Roth.

Edit: Page has anorexia hair in every photo of her taken since 2001. It's like the Cryptkeeper's hair. She's also got the mouth line that bulimics have in @VargReallyDidNothingWrong 's picture. Child actor just shouldn't be a job someone can have.

Agreed - no child actors, just well-compensated short people.

The scalp is a strange place, generally.

I am totally voting for whichever political party will free strange children to puke at will or need razoring where I don't have to put up with them.

Am I off topic again? Oh dear this fuckingkeyboard. Why can't popularity be easier? I'm really so charming.

 

[Constellationzero]

Poonerized remakes have so much comedy potential, cast Pooners in the most masculine roles possible, and have everyone else be a minimum one foot taller and play it completely straight like they don't notice the Pooners are, in fact, tiny wheedling manlets.
I can think of a load of movies that would be awesome with a Pooner cast, Conan the Barbarian, First Blood, the Alamo if you had Pooners for everyone in the Fort, various capeshit movies, and they don't just have to be action movies, imagine Cape Fear, but with Ellen Page playing the DeNiro/Mitchum villain, and with Dave Bautista as the terrorized husband... I have a vision to make heccin' valid movies with representation shit I might try and pitch it to Hollywood before this insane faggot pandering wears off and see if I can make some money from it.

* Pooner as Peter Graves as Captain Oveur. "Ever seen a grown man naked?"
* Pooner as Kareem Abdul Jabar--denying they're First officer Dennis Rodman.
* Pooner as Striker--drinking problem is now a T problem.
* Pooner as Sonny Bono with a buu--

By the way, we just ran out of coffee...

 

[LGHDR+]

*waits patiently for Microsoft to fuck up even worse and release AI video generation for free*

 

[pink cigarettes]

Oscar and Alice - Pooners and Trooners of the Silver Screen isn't a bad idea for a thread, I was considering it myself before the King Pooner Page thread was made, I didn't know if there'd be enough content, but you just mentioned a few there and I'm sure theres more if we looked.

Pooners/Trooners on screen thread has got to happen. Everyone knows the normie straight protagonist is supposed to maybe get the girl, but the subtext to straight dude/MTF ends up being "well great, I have to do everything and this weird faggot wont even help and probably wants me to kiss him and I have to be polite."
It's always this weird alternate universe too- on Billions, the ice-cold, corporate, actual sociopathic hitman boomer aged guy who would push his own mom in front of a train....is sensitive about the goofy chick demanding they/them pronouns, lol.

Anyway, Ellen: I watched a pre-troon Ellen movie and was amazed at how WHINY she sounds. Like idk how anyone could stand a car ride with her let alone an entire film or relationship. I am dying to know if she's on testosterone yet. If not, she will be- she seems like the miserable dragon-chasing troon-out type.

 

[LGHDR+]

Huh. Either my wife uses "BasedBook" or somebody is asleep at the wheel:

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

imagine Cape Fear, but with Ellen Page playing the DeNiro/Mitchum villain

That gives me an idea: Night of the Hunter, with Page playing Mitchum's character. Of course a tranny would be playing Lillian Gish's character, thought they'd insist on discarding granny dresses and wearing knee-high fishnet stockings instead.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

We got the pooner from Sabrina (Lachlan Watson)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lachlan_Watson

Does she count? Reading her wiki, it says she's non-binary not a trans man. Though she did play a trans man on Sabrina.

 

[Terffals]

Does she count? Reading her wiki, it says she's non-binary not a trans man. Though she did play a trans man on Sabrina.

How dare she they, taking away roles that should be going to hard-working pooners. It’s poonface and I’m surprised the queers tolerate it!

 

[Procrastinhater]

* Pooner as Peter Graves as Captain Oveur. "Ever seen a grown man naked?"
* Pooner as Kareem Abdul Jabar--denying they're First officer Dennis Rodman.
* Pooner as Striker--drinking problem is now a T problem.
* Pooner as Sonny Bono with a buu--

By the way, we just ran out of coffee...

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit heroin...

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit heroin...

These are pooners, they're not using heroin. They're using sodium nitrite.

 

[PetiteFeet]

Does she count? Reading her wiki, it says she's non-binary not a trans man. Though she did play a trans man on Sabrina.

I don't think Lachlan is a trans man. She played Fang in Goodbye Volcano High, and Fang is "non-binary".

 

[monstrous bubo]

Pooner. Peckinpah. That is all.

 

[LGHDR+]

How dare she they, taking away roles that should be going to hard-working pooners. It’s poonface and I’m surprised the queers tolerate it!

Holy shit! My wife works with one of these filthy poonface cultural appropriators, and now I can give her the word she needs to slay this beast!

Words are weapons, after all. And silence is violence. Or something.

 

[sheepworldvizor]

Does she count? Reading her wiki, it says she's non-binary not a trans man. Though she did play a trans man on Sabrina.

We gotta count nutjob NBs as trannies, otherwise we’re left with fucking Che from And Just Like That

 

[Haftag]

Is it weird that this thread can still make me sad despite all the shit going around the world right now?

 

[PetiteFeet]

We gotta count nutjob NBs as trannies, otherwise we’re left with fucking Che from And Just Like That

Technically NB falls under the trans umbrella, but so does everything remotely gender nonconforming. A lot of trannies autistically ree if a person of X label is cast as Y, e.g a woman is cast as trans like when Scarlett Johanson was in a shitstorm.
I'm sure the same people would throw a fit if an enby was caster over a True and Honest transman/woman in a role.

Is it weird that this thread can still make me sad despite all the shit going around the world right now?

Not at all. It shows you have empathy. But that empathy is wasted on people who don't want it.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Oscar and Alice - Pooners and Trooners of the Silver Screen isn't a bad idea for a thread

I was going to suggest "Aiden and Alice" for the title, but then I remembered Bruce and Alice from the late-night cartoons you watch in hotels.