E3 2021 Griefing Thread - Now with more nigger pandering, does anyone even care about most of the games displayed here seriously? (Spoiler alert Nintendo won lol)

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Who won E3 2021?

  • Ubisoft

    Votos: 1 0.3%
  • Gearbox Software

    Votos: 1 0.3%
  • Square Enix

    Votos: 3 0.8%
  • PC Gaming Show

    Votos: 1 0.3%
  • Capcom

    Votos: 2 0.5%
  • Nintendo

    Votos: 303 76.7%
  • Bandai Namco

    Votos: 5 1.3%
  • Guerrilla Collective

    Votos: 1 0.3%
  • Summer Game Fest

    Votos: 4 1.0%
  • IGN Expo

    Votos: 0 0.0%
  • Wholesome Games

    Votos: 1 0.3%
  • Devolver Digital

    Votos: 6 1.5%
  • UploadVR

    Votos: 0 0.0%
  • Limited Run Games

    Votos: 3 0.8%
  • Future Games

    Votos: 1 0.3%
  • Steam

    Votos: 7 1.8%
  • EA Play

    Votos: 0 0.0%
  • Microsoft + Bethesda

    Votos: 37 9.4%
  • Others

    Votos: 19 4.8%

  • Total de votantes
    395
A METAL SLUG TACTICAL RPG, WHAT?! I have to admit, that sounds kinda dope actually

Hideous Kojumbo is here. And of course, they're shilling the vaccine and talking about how "DA PANDEMUC IS IMPACTING US ALL"
 
what's wrong with your face geoff
druggies of kiwi farms what substances is this man on
coke? booze? meth?
 

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No. Fortnite Guy/Gal. Maximum butthurt, and a double heaping of salt from the fact that Epic got involved with Smash Bros. That'd be my ultimate "hoes mad" Smash character.

As for E3 itself, I'll ask for the thing I always ask for, and never get:
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The Blue Rogues' return. Either a sequel, a remaster, hell, I'd even take a straight port at this point. Just....something. :(
Oh... No no no. I've thought way too hard about this since the last reveal just to see what character would induce the most salt. Not from the smash community or whatever, EVERYONE. From children (Mr Fortnite would be popular with kids you see) to man children, I've searched for the perfect character to piss of every single person watching the reveal.
cloudman.salt.gif

Now I know you may have some questions, so here's a list I've come up with to explain exactly who will hate this character and why the salt would be legendary.
1: This is Mallow from Super Mario RPG.
a: He's ANOTHER Mario rep, so those people who want more series represented will be mad.
b: He's also the only original party member besides the one and only Geno, so they will be eternally ass shattered this boy got in sooner than their golden calf.
2: Look at 'em. He's a puffball. Because he's a cloud.
a: In lore, he's a crybaby softy that more or less gets declared prince because of his parents being royalty. Combined with the appearance, this gives off the impression that this character's inclusion is for children while being from a game no kids under 15 have probably played- also pissing off people like that 4chan mod that claims smash is an 'international culture event' or whatever they use to jsutify playing baby's first fighting game.
b: same reason why people hate Jigglypuff and Kirby. He's not 'cool' like Captain Falcon or Sephiroth, so there's some salt.
3: He's a boy. Not a trans, not a woman, a boy. People that want more women in smash BTFO. (Also in lore his parents are almost dethroned by a woman so bonus points if anyone brings that up to them that it was 'her turn' but I'm grasping at that point)
4: Cloud, small... Clearly he'd be a floaty flier, and with magic in game to boot.
a: Potential zoning character, potential for salt akin to Min Min or Meta Knight.
b: Froggie stick (a weapon he can use) can act like a sword in practice. Sword user haters mad because they're gonna be.
c: He could also use cymbals in both SMRPG and this game. People will bitch about the noise guaranteed.
d: Like Jigglypuff's rest, due to the floating, his up special may not be a recovery. Instead, Mallow has this quirk in the SMRPG games of using weather to fight. One ability is to summon a cloud to heal himself or others. Do I need to describe what happens when a zoning character that's floaty can heal themselves from their danger zone between their opponents stocks?
5: And most importantly, the 'influencers' who react to Smash reveals will be confused. And because NO ONE is pouring out in support of this guy, every single person watching the reactor's lukewarm opinion of Mallow will lead to everyone saying he's a wasted slot like with Byleth or Incineroar.

Thank you for reading my TEDTalk about the Theory of Smash Salt, I spent way too long just writing this so I hope I provided some insight as to why this literally who is best pick for Smash Ultimate.
Also E3 this year looks like ass, thank you everyone for updating the thread so I don't have to watch it.
 
Shilling for Amazon Prime....the corporate dystopia is real, and we're living in it. *sigh*
 
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