Dumbest possible lolcow?

[tomgirl4life]

Strikerwolf is just unbelievably dumb, but x86x2 and Nick Bate (and Shaner) are about as dumb.

Striker, Barneyfag and Shaner have been explained, but let's not forget Nick Bate thinks Kentucky doesn't exist, thinks dentists will kill him, and a whole bunch of other stupid shit. I don't even need to mention that video and the reason he made it.

To be fair, I were a dentist I would want to kill Nick Bate too.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Nick is actually in the above average range of intelligence, but he has schizotypial personality disorder, so he lives in his own world. His actions make sense to him, but only to him. To those of us in the real world he's crazy, but he's not stupid in the sense of low IQ. Since he doesn't follow the dictates of normal society, that's why he bragged about molesting his relative. But he also had enough sense to deny the accusations and try to prove his innocence. Yes, it totally backfired on him, but in his mind it made sense.

Striker I think is legit brain damaged, and probably wasn't that bright to start with. He might actually be clinically mentally disabled, as in an IQ lower than 70. He clearly can't take care of himself, and will probably require assisted care for the rest of his life, however short that might be.

Shaner I think has average intelligence, who received poor instruction in school but has untreated autism which lead him to react the way he does, but he's also a sociopath, a low-functioning one, but that explains why he's such a massive asshole.

TJ Church is the Dunning-Krueger effect personified. He honestly doesn't know he's an idiot.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

I honestly just voted for Phil on the off chance he finds this topic and learns that people think he's dumber than CWC.

That said, Phil really is dumber than Chris. Both have poor impulse control but Chris is better at keeping it together than Phil even if it's mostly the fear of repercussion that keeps Chris in line. Plus, Chris is demonstrably more functional than Phil what with having a license, a degree, and running an online store for his crafts.

 

[Trombonista]

Striker may be dumber than Shaner, but I still think Shaner would eat the glue first.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Striker may be dumber than Shaner, but I still think Shaner would eat the glue first.

Striker is 500 pounds. I think pretty much anything you could name, Striker would eat first.

Striker versus Shaner is an interesting race, actually. I mean, they both have self-induced brain damage indirectly arising from obesity, but in Shaner's case it's from diabetic encephalopathy whereas in Striker's case it's from low blood oxygenation from respiratory issues. It's like a battle between acute obesity and chronic obesity, with the winner being garbed in the Diaper of Fail and their own eternal shame.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Dakari-King Mykan is a relatively obscure lolcow who had absolutely no idea what the Holocaust was.

He was 23 at the time.

He's probably not my vote, I just wanted to point this out.

 

[fugly bunny]

DSP.

 

[Innocuous]

I was thinking about going with Shaner, but it'd have to be Nick Bate.

He masturbated with shit to prove to everyone that he wasn't a pedophile.

 

[DoshesToDoshes]

I honestly just voted for Phil on the off chance he finds this topic and learns that people think he's dumber than CWC.

That said, Phil really is dumber than Chris. Both have poor impulse control but Chris is better at keeping it together than Phil even if it's mostly the fear of repercussion that keeps Chris in line. Plus, Chris is demonstrably more functional than Phil what with having a license, a degree, and running an online store for his crafts.

I feel like Phil is probably the only person on the list that deserves to be called dumb. Just because he's not blindly following his own morals. He knows what's right and wrong, and chooses to bite the hand that feeds him. He destroyed all of his friendships. He even tattooed the hands he sifts through garbage with. He is contrarian for the sake of being wrong.

 

[TheMightyMonarch]

I said this in a similar thread but MadThad has got to be one of the stupidest lolcows of all time, consider that his CP folder was called "Don't click" and when he miraculously got of jail due to bail, he ignored the terms on his bail and went on Twitter, bragging that he had even MORE CP on his computer.

I compared him to Nick Bate in the past but given what @DrJonesHat has said, his actions are somewhat understandable given his mental history (although still definitely reprehensible). MadThad doesn't appear to be mentally ill in anyway, so his actions are even more baffling than Sick Nick. Wow, I never thought I'd say that.

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

It goes without saying, but nothing can top Striker. I'm surprised he even knew how to sign up for an account. Shaner isn't far behind.

I can't say I agree with everyone who's picking x86x2 as second or third, though. To be sure he's very autistic, and we know he was in sped class, but he seems fairly high-functioning. His autism is the least of his neuroses. His real problem is that he's obsessive to the point of self-destruction and just can't realize there's a world outside of his experience. I'd consider him one of the most delusional lolcows, not the dumbest.

 

[AnOminous]

I said this in a similar thread but MadThad has got to be one of the stupidest lolcows of all time, consider that his CP folder was called "Don't click" and when he miraculously got of jail due to bail, he ignored the terms on his bail and went on Twitter, bragging that he had even MORE CP on his computer.

The fact that it was literally the day before his probation was over made it even funnier.

And in case anyone forgot, he doesn't get out until late 2018. Because he couldn't wait one day until his probation expired to taunt the feds.

THADDEUS LEWIS MCMICHAEL
Register Number: 46844-039
Age: 25
Race: Black
Sex: Male
Located at: Milan FCI
Release Date: 10/09/2018

 

[DrJonesHat]

Yeah, MadThad was an idiot, but a lot of people don't think that what they post on Facebook will ever travel beyond their friends.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

MylarBalloonFan also literally believes that all Mylar balloons are living beings, and that their "lives" are inhererently more valuable than that of a human's. That's...that's just wow.
(Hi Sammy, I know it was you)

 

[Gensdupays]

I'm kind of torn on x86x2/Barneyfag. On one hand, he apparently fits in well enough to at least pass as a functional person and goes to university. On the other hand, he's made fun of by people who know him and shitposts online when he should be taking notes in class/doing homework. Not to mention his edgy/self-pitying side and his conspiracy theories.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

I'm kind of torn on x86x2/Barneyfag. On one hand, he apparently fits in well enough to at least pass as a functional person and goes to university. On the other hand, he's made fun of by people who know him and shitposts online when he should be taking notes in class/doing homework. Not to mention his edgy/self-pitying side and his conspiracy theories.

x86x2 to me always seemed like less of an idiot and more of a raging asshole trying to justify his irrational and borderline psychotic hatred of lower functioning disabled people.

 

[Zim]

I'm going with ADF. Numbers and math are just another tool for the cis, male, patriarch to keep him subdued without housing and food. He'd eat white paste both as a symbol for destroying white males and for his gayness for white males.

Nick was a close second because he's nuts and would probably eat glue for some poop reason anyway.

Shaner is third but really if you asked him what 2+2 is he'd respond by doxxing someone from the railroad.

 

[Bounty of BananaChipmunks]

I am going out a limb and say Nookie Bear should win the dumbest award.

I am talking about a manchild with no mental deficiencies but chose to throw away a perfectly normal life due to his "sensitivity", leaving him an angry Twitter keyboard warrior with a lesbian fetish. ADF comes close behind, but a few kiwis here elaborated about him already.

Just my 2 cents, if you have the awareness not to fail and fall, why choose to tumble all the way down when there is no reason to ?

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

Barneyfag’s intelligence (or lack thereof) is certainly intriguing. For one he believed that “BestBarneyFan64”, one of the weakest attempts at trolling here recently, was legitimate and used his existence as proof of his righteousness. He was in Special Ed but seems to have moved on. Though, it should be remembered that in Canada the word “university” is used as a term for post high school education in general, he could go to a community college for all we know. And a low IQ alone doesn’t explain his monomania; he is almost certainly suffering from mental illness. Or who knows, maybe he just got lucky academically and really is as thick as a sequoia.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Barneyfag’s intelligence (or lack thereof) is certainly intriguing. For one he believed that “BestBarneyFan64”, one of the weakest attempts at trolling here recently, was legitimate and used his existence as proof of his righteousness. He was in Special Ed but seems to have moved on. Though, it should be remembered that in Canada the word “university” is used as a term for post high school education in general, he could go to a community college for all we know. And a low IQ alone doesn’t explain his monomania; he is almost certainly suffering from mental illness. Or who knows, maybe he just got lucky academically and really is as thick as a sequoia.

He legitimately seems to have some form of schizophrenia.