Do You Want Kids? - General "Have Kids!" Sperging Thread [for or against that sentiment]

[Scolopendra Dramatica]

Got one already and it nearly killed me and left me in chronic pain since. I still want another if my body allows it though; somebody's gotta up the number of based, sensible and nuclear family raised humans for the next generation.

Plus I fucking love tiny humans, they're charmingly ridiculous and they look like they're built out of modular pieces of chunk.

 

[Vi0l3t]

I don't consider having kids the answer to any of the big questions in life. Rather, I think that by having kids, you'll be too busy living life to even ask yourself any of the big questions.

Yes, you'll have less freedom. Yes, you'll be "used up" by your wife and kids. But honestly I can't think of a better way for my energy to be used up.

That said, I would never shame anyone for not wanting kids. If you don't have that inner desire innately already, then yeah you would probably make a shitty parent.

Edit:

Full disclosure - first kid on the way this Autumn, so this has been on my mind quite a bit recently!

Congrats and hope everything goes smoothly!

 

[AMHOLIO]

No, I like kids but realize I would make a flighty parent who teaches their kids bad habits. I want to become a better person so I can at least be a chad to my partner, my friends, and myself even if I don't raise kids. Self improvement to not be an asshole is important in life I feel.

---

A few thoughts on "you should want kids": I think most women who are incredibly vocal on news articles, blogs, and twitter about NOT having kids are salty and want to go "FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD". The problem isn't that they're not having kids, the problem is that they're journalist and activist and are totally absorbed. Since they're so outspoken, this leads to the perception that all femnoids are hypocritical salty cat ladies when in reality all journos need to be shot.

I think its fine to say "females should want kids" as long as you A) do the same for males b) not also say "you're lesser for not wanting them" c) you don't insist on forcing your viewpoint. People with shitty diseases like MS might not want to pass on their genes or have a hard enough time taking care of themselves that they don't want to deprive their kids of their parent. People who have demanding careers they love wouldn't want to put a child under strain of not seeing them. People who just don't want the responsiblity shouldn't be forced into it - it takes nuts to be a good parent, and some people realize they can help the world be better by being a supportive friend and family member. There's no reason to make someone have kids, man or woman, unless they're Adam and Eveing it. As long as they are being good people and or useful to society, its all good. If thwy're like the tenacious unicorn ranch and are actively useless and harmful, then they're lesser and deserve to be looked down upon.

Lastly, some people shouldn't have kids. More mild cases include people like Lindsay Ellis would make shitty moms because she'd make the kid a walking sjw spouting ad when not ignoring them. Harsher cases involve mega narcissist and abusers of all types.


Shout outs to all farmers with mini shitposers or mini shitposters on the way. Cheers, glad you love them!

 

[Smolrolls]

I want kids partly because I know that I'll come to deeply regret not having them when I'm much older. I'm just scared that I might fuck up along the way and have them resent me when they grow up or have them end up dead in some freak accident that I could have avoided. This all might just be my anxiety getting the better of me though.

The "they're a pain in the ass" and "they're too expensive" arguments are just shit that comes with everything in life. It sounds too much like whining.

There's also the matter of finding the right partner who won't make your life more difficult, and finding the right partner who won't corrupt your kids into the spoil puppies we find ourselves living with while your working.

Your choice whether you want to raise kids or not. Thing is there are the antinatalists who say "...people shouldn't produce kids because it reduces the carbon footprints on the world" who also support Black Lives Matter running rampant across the country, call that "Harem-king Floyd" a victim whose sins are forgiven after that cop killed him like he went through a baptism, call Trump supports arrogant and don't mind them getting shot for having the wrong opinions, you get the idea.

Regarding how painful it is to raise kids and "they're too expensive", alot of kiwis I've read say that these 2 problems occur because of first world problems: "Oh I don't have enough money for 2 cars; I need to pay for my apartment in the city; I need to save money to go on 2 vacations every week for my kids; I need money for daycare" etc. Solution is spend less on furniture, homeschool, spend less on fast cars, whatever.

 

[L50LasPak]

I don't for a whole laundry list of selfish reasons, but also even if I take a step back and look at it objectively I'm just not well equipped enough to handle it. I also really despise the arguement that "nobody" is good enough or well equipped enough to have kids, so you shouldn't worry about it and have them anyway. I think that's honestly a more nihilistic and morally bankrupt take on it than even hardcore Extinction Movement types have. Its a fucked up way of looking at the world and undoubtedly a source of a lot of our problems. I have no interest in adding more trash to the gene pool.

Another problem is that the landscape of pop culture has become completely alien; I can barely give Zoomers advice on how they should use the internet so one can imagine how I would be at a loss if I had to raise someone to have good internet hygene from a young age. Society is set to become even more alien with the lockdowns and everything from Corona changing people's priorities, and in general we live in a world where you really can't trust anyone or any institution. I think there are fundamental things a person should make up their mind about and/or know the answer to if they decide to have kids, and by that metric there is a whole hell of a lot I still don't understand about people and why they act so irrationally on a constant basis.

If you can't even sort your own life out, you have no business having kids because one way or another its everyone else that has to pay for your impudence.

 

[Lone MacReady]

Of course, but it's only after the wealth transfer when we start thinking about that. The next 10 years are going to make some hard people.

 

[Vi0l3t]

No, I like kids but realize I would make a flighty parent who teaches their kids bad habits. I want to become a better person so I can at least be a chad to my partner, my friends, and myself even if I don't raise kids. Self improvement to not be an asshole is important in life I feel.

---

A few thoughts on "you should want kids": I think most women who are incredibly vocal on news articles, blogs, and twitter about NOT having kids are salty and want to go "FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD". The problem isn't that they're not having kids, the problem is that they're journalist and activist and are totally absorbed. Since they're so outspoken, this leads to the perception that all femnoids are hypocritical salty cat ladies when in reality all journos need to be shot.

I think its fine to say "females should want kids" as long as you A) do the same for males b) not also say "you're lesser for not wanting them" c) you don't insist on forcing your viewpoint. People with shitty diseases like MS might not want to pass on their genes or have a hard enough time taking care of themselves that they don't want to deprive their kids of their parent. People who have demanding careers they love wouldn't want to put a child under strain of not seeing them. People who just don't want the responsiblity shouldn't be forced into it - it takes nuts to be a good parent, and some people realize they can help the world be better by being a supportive friend and family member. There's no reason to make someone have kids, man or woman, unless they're Adam and Eveing it. As long as they are being good people and or useful to society, its all good. If thwy're like the tenacious unicorn ranch and are actively useless and harmful, then they're lesser and deserve to be looked down upon.

Lastly, some people shouldn't have kids. More mild cases include people like Lindsay Ellis would make shitty moms because she'd make the kid a walking sjw spouting ad when not ignoring them. Harsher cases involve mega narcissist and abusers of all types.


Shout outs to all farmers with mini shitposers or mini shitposters on the way. Cheers, glad you love them!

Luckily we are starting to go away from the concept of couples need children. Nobody needs children, they should be very carefully considered because they do change your life.

Sadly it goes both ways, people who have kids call people without "lazy, lonely, selfish" ect and people without kids call parents "breeders, poor" ect as some examples. It's weird also seeing the people who hate kids openly saying they want to beat children in public for crying ect.

Hopefully with better birth control and people waiting itll cause less unwanted children or abused kids.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Sadly it goes both ways, people who have kids call people without "lazy, lonely, selfish" ect and people without kids call parents "breeders, poor" ect as some examples. It's weird also seeing the people who hate kids openly saying they want to beat children in public for crying ect.

You're not wrong at all. People like that deserve to have their asses beat themselves instead - they're not fucking sheeple for wanting and loving a child or four.

 

[Vi0l3t]

You're not wrong at all. People like that deserve to have their asses beat themselves instead - they're not fucking sheeple for wanting and loving a child or four.

I agree, some assume once you have children you never have fun again, or no more romance ect lol. Like I said I have children, but I respect people who dont and make a choice not to. I dont get why anyone would want someone to have children, it would just make them miserable and the children miserable as well.

 

[RussianParasite]

I know its power level, but I have 2 and they give you a love you never felt before. But children are hard work and take a lot of time and effort that honestly not everyone is up for. I am glad that people actually wait and decide not to if they dont, because children need parents that are 100% in it. It always angers me when horribly shitty people keep having children and subject them to trauma ect. Also about the nothing child comments, not everyone in life becomes a huge something or successful, you do not and should not go into parenting hoping to gain something from them other than hopefully a loving relationship.

I am absolutely and totally in agreement. You should be very prepared (as much as it is possible) for kids before having them as they are a lot of work and require a fair amount of resources. Have a good partner that is actually on your “team” and preferably be married to them. Have your financial shit together and have your own mental health in decent shape. It is not fair to your potential kid (and frankly yourself) if you skimp on these things.

Even if it is “meaningless” as OP asserts then not having kids is equally as meaningless and therefore it doesn’t really matter if you have them or not. I think there was something about adding someone to suffer in the world (which implies that everyone does and is not true) but that too is meaningless and therefore also an invalid argument. In a nihilistic worldview, happiness, suffering, cruelty, mercy, etc. are all meaningless and don’t really exist, so there is never an argument to do, or not do something.

In the pro-having kids camp I also cite Dr. Professor Pepe the Frog Esq. when he wrote “feels good man.”

 

[Vi0l3t]

I am absolutely and totally in agreement. You should be very prepared (as much as it is possible) for kids before having them as they are a lot of work and require a fair amount of resources. Have a good partner that is actually on your “team” and preferably be married to them. Have your financial shit together and have your own mental health in decent shape. It is not fair to your potential kid (and frankly yourself) if you skimp on these things.

Even if it is “meaningless” as OP asserts then not having kids is equally as meaningless and therefore it doesn’t really matter if you have them or not. I think there was something about adding someone to suffer in the world (which implies that everyone does and is not true) but that too is meaningless and therefore also an invalid argument. In a nihilistic worldview, happiness, suffering, cruelty, mercy, etc. are all meaningless and don’t really exist, so there is never an argument to do, or not do something.

In the pro-having kids camp I also cite Dr. Professor Pepe the Frog Esq. when he wrote “feels good man.”

Yeah, I agree 100%. Pregnancy for a woman also changes you not just physically but emotionally. Also can have lasting changes not just bodily changes like stretch marks but let's say you get gestational diabetes you are more likely to get type 2 diabetes later in life.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

No. It's not my thing. I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff. The sound of crying kids/babies is just as bad, if not worse, than nails on a chalk board, and I can't handle puke (which is all babies ever do) it's fucking gross.

I'm more of a pet person. People in my family and on my block call me the dog whisperer because they are amazed at how good the dogs behave around me as opposed to their owners.

The only downside to not wanting kids is that the dating pool for me is SMALL.. like I've even found some 40 year old women on dating sites that say they want kids. So my only options are crazy cat ladies that need a good dicking to not be so crazy anymore.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Also, OP, you feelin ok lately? Has the world been getting to you?

 

[Ridge Racer]

The truth is I would not want to have children, at least at the moment. I'm not financially independent enough to take care of children and, to be honest, I can't stand children (especially when they cry and whine). I would make a terrible parent to be honest. I also have health issues inherited from my parents and I would rather not pass them down and contaminate the gene pool.

 

[Smolrolls]

Idk, a kid is what made me ok with being a nothing who will accomplish nothing and die and be forgotten.

Forgive me for sounding gay, but you did accomplish alittle: you left a memory for people to remember you by when you die.

You wrote this post for us Kiwis to read. And may you nurture your kid better than how some of us we're raised. Well at least don't raise your kid into a lolcow.

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

Got one. Shit is awesome, though tiring. Ama

 

[Anne Hyroe]

I feel like the luckiest person in the world to not only have my own little people to raise and love, but to spend my working life helping others to finally meet their own little ones. Children are an absolute joy and there’s nothing better than seeing good people become great parents.

Even with all that said, not everyone can or should be parents; whether because of illness, infertility, not meeting the right partner, living conditions or just not wanting to, everyone suffers when people who are unable or unwilling become parents anyway. I adore my job but there’s nothing more heartbreaking than seeing newborns abandoned in PICU because mum has left for her next fix, or seeing a child leaving with social workers rather than their family because of violence or neglect.

Even if people don’t have their own children they can still contribute massively to children’s lives if they wish with volunteering with reading in schools or being a good friend, relative or neighbour to stressed-out parents. It’s not necessary to have your own biological children to help make things better for future generations or to have a legacy they will remember.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

I'd rather adopt than bring another kid into this shit world - but only after I've graduated college, gotten a good job, and become emotionally ready to handle such a huge responsibility. Whenever I become a father I want to be the best father I can be and ensure my kid grows up to be a hell of a lot smarter than I am.

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

I'd rather adopt than bring another kid into this shit world -

Unfortunately adoption is crazy expensive and a looooong process to get a an kid, that tragically, is severely damaged. Those who can do it, more power to them.

A noble mindset, I just hate the idea that I would have to forsake my genetic legacy to take care of someone's elses.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

Unfortunately adoption is crazy expensive and a looooong process to get a an kid, that tragically, is severely damaged. Those who can do it, more power to them.

A noble mindset, I just hate the idea that I would have to forsake my genetic legacy to take care of someone's elses.

Fuck, I forgot it was that expensive and long of a process. I'd have to see if I could afford it then; if not, I'll have to sadly just make my own kid - I'm not at all rich, and I'm not Jewish either. Like I said, I'd rather not bring a kid into this shit world, but I eventually want to have at least one kid. I'd try my best to make the kid's life at the very least decent in whatever way I can.

The problem with having a kid the old-fashioned way is that if it's not with the right woman, the woman usually gets full custody of the child after divorce with the male having to pay the mom child support without getting the benefits of being a father and instead with the detriments of a fucked credit score. If I get married, I'm 99% not going to be the one walking out, with obvious exceptions of course. But if I can find a great woman to have a child with I'd be down for that.